Chapter 39

I leaned back against the comfortable sofa.

Kim U-in sat beside me and said,

“We’ll be exploring your missing memories from now on. Do you have any questions or worries about hypnosis?”

“Will I possibly be controlled?”

“Controlling people through hypnosis is fantasy.”

“Then I’m a little worried I might say things I should and shouldn’t say.”

“That’s sedation endoscopy. Neither applies. Hypnosis is simply like the state right before falling asleep. You erase the surrounding noise and explore your inner self on your own, so you can think of it as something similar to meditation.”

Kim U-in immediately dismissed my useless worries.

Then Kim U-in added this while throwing the candy in his mouth into the trash can.

No, what is he going to do if ants gather because of that…….

“And there are people who go under hypnosis easily and people who don’t. So I can’t guarantee we’ll find out everything with this. We’ll only know once we try.”

“What kind of people usually go under easily?”

“People who trust others well go under easily. So there’s a high possibility you won’t go under hypnosis, Mr. Do-un.”

“Me?”

“You’re the suspicious type. You nitpick all sorts of things here and there.”

I could not exactly deny it.

“Close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes as instructed.

Then I heard white noise like the sound of wind.

Mixed into that noise, Kim U-in’s monotonous voice continued.

“Release the tension. Breathe comfortably and let the strength leave your body.”

When I closed my eyes and followed along, my body gradually grew languid.

“Maintain that comfortable state. And when I count to 3, you will become far more comfortable than you are now. One, two, three.”

Along with Kim U-in’s suggestion, my body sank deeply.

My body felt heavy, as if my back had stuck to the sofa.

But my consciousness was still awake, so I could hear Kim U-in’s voice and think.

“Now we’re going to turn back time. We turn time backward and go to yesterday. Have you arrived?”

“Yes.”

“What do you see in front of you?”

“Ms. Baek Sa-ra…….”

“What does that Ms. Baek Sa-ra look like?”

“She’s sitting and looking at me. Black clothes…… Her expression is dark…….”

“What scenery do you see behind Ms. Baek Sa-ra?”

“A white wall…… There’s a door, and a clock.”

“What time does the clock indicate?”

“11:30…….”

As I answered slowly, I realized something at the same time.

The time I woke up yesterday was 12 o’clock.

So what I was seeing now was the scene before I regained consciousness.

“Good. Then we’ll go back another day. Same time. What do you see?”

“Team Leader Cha Si-eon…… is eating an apple.”

“Is it the same place as before?”

“Yes…….”

“Where did the apple come from?”

“A fruit basket…… Mine…….”

That apple had been bought by Manager Kwon Mu-seop.

For some reason, after remembering that, I felt wronged and muttered again.

“He’s eating my apple…….”

Clatter—

Without realizing it, I flinched my leg.

Then Kim U-in calmly asked the reason.

“What just happened?”

“The apple he finished eating…….”

“The apple?”

“He threw it in the trash can…….”

Cha Si-eon threw the apple core into the trash can.

Food waste.

Into the trash can.

“It’s getting…… warm now…… and the apple…….”

“……We will not pay any more attention to the apple. We’ll go back another day. Forget the apple now.”

I was very bothered by the trash can that must have grown sticky, but as instructed, I turned back time.

“What do you see now?”

“……Light.”

A light moved back and forth before my eyes.

And behind it, Kim U-in’s face.

“We’ll go 30 more minutes back. What do you see now?”

Cha Si-eon again…….

But this was different from when he was eating the apple.

A serious face.

He was calling me.

Mr. Seo Do-un. Mr. Seo Do-un. Can you hear me? Mr. Seo Do-un.

Behind him, a wide space.

A large warehouse. A hangar.

The space where one arrives after escaping from a Special Zone.

“Let’s go back just 1 more minute from there.”

1 minute…….

“What do you see now?”

White.

Entirely pure white.

White.

Whitewhitewhitewhitewhitewhite.

Clatter—!

“Mr. Seo Do-un, close your eyes.”

Whitewhitewhitewhite!

Entirely white, a deathly white!

“You don’t need to look, so close your eyes. Close your eyes and move away from that place.”

Close them. Close your eyes. Do not look at death.

“Move far enough away until you are safe.”

I move away. From the pure-white death, I flee.

“Settle your mind again. With your eyes still closed, now recall it. The words you said there.”

The words I said……?

“The words you said to yourself in that place.”

“Why until now…… did I not remember you……?”

My lips moved on their own.

“And what else did you say?”

“What exactly…… are you……?”

Without going through thought, my lips and vocal cords reproduced that moment on their own.

“And, what else?”

“What do you mean by four times……? Does that mean I…….”

My voice would not come out.

“I, already…….”

The words were still inside my mouth.

If I opened my mouth, the words I had said then would flow out exactly the same.

But for some reason, I could not make a sound.

“Already, already…….”

Just as I struggled to force out the final sentence.

-It’s too early.

A small voice.

-Take something else instead.

Then, by some unknown force, I was suddenly pulled somewhere.

WEEEEEE-OOO—!

The sound of a siren froze my heart.

What is this? Where is this? The fog is thick.

I cannot see anything.

Something is there.

Beyond the fog, there is a huge hill.

WEEEEEE-OOO—!

It is not a hill. It is a sparse mass, like a clump of steel reinforcing bars.

That thing was the monster from the 「Railway Station」, crouching its body.

I have to run.

I was terrified. But I could not run.

Instead, I was being drawn closer. Something lifted my body.

I did not want to look, but I kept drawing near.

Clatter— clatter—!

“……un! Wake……!”

Some sound rang from the sky.

The fog was too thick, so I could not hear properly.

At last, I was dragged right in front of the monster’s face.

Only then did I see its form fully.

A bizarre monster with a siren-shaped head and limbs as gaunt as lightning rods.

A creature that was shabby and, at the same time, far too enormous to accept.

I sensed it.

If that thing rang now, my body would burst into pieces.

So when I prepared myself for death again, it raised its head.

A frightening sight unfolded, as if a hill were moving.

What was finally revealed was a face……?

Beneath the dreadful siren, I saw a face.

It was the face of a crying man.

-Sa, ve me.

The man said.

-Plea, se save, me.

Was he asking me to save him?

The man shook his head.

He said something.

I heard a two-syllable name, but it did not engrave itself into my memory and scattered.

Who are you?

It answered.

-I am, Lee, Seop.

I remembered that name.

At that moment, the fog scattered, and Kim U-in’s voice struck my eardrums.

“……un! Wake up now, Mr. Do-un!”

“Hurk……!”

I hurriedly opened my eyes.

Like a student caught nodding off in class.

Sting—!

At the sharp pain, I looked at my left arm.

The bandage that had been stuck properly to my arm until just now was rolling on the floor.

There was a new wound on my forearm.

Again, the English letter “B.”

And my right index fingernail, stained with blood.

What on earth happened?

Did I wound my arm again?

“Mr. Do-un, are you all right?”

Kim U-in asked with a serious face.

“You were struggling in pain just now. You don’t remember?”

I did not remember at all.

We used hypnosis to recover my memories, but I lost my memory again?

This is insane, seriously. At this point, isn’t this an early symptom of dementia?

“Surprisingly, I…….”

When I opened my mouth in a dry voice, Kim U-in looked at me seriously.

Facing that doctor, I muttered,

“Seem to be a person who trusts others well.”

“You’re making jokes right now?”

That was not a joke, but the truth.

“Enough. How far do you remember?”

“I remember up to when you told me to say what I had said, and I started talking without realizing it. I think I said, ‘What do you mean by four times?’”

“Then what happened next?”

After that?

I was not sure.

Like when one dreams plenty while asleep, only to forget everything upon waking, there was only a vague feeling, and I could not remember well.

I strained with all my might to find traces left in my hippocampus.

“Ah.”

And then, at last, I remembered.

“I remember now. I saw a man. I had some kind of conversation with him…….”

“What kind of conversation was it?”

“I don’t know the contents. But I think that man was crying.”

“Do you remember what that man looked like?”

“Vaguely. And I heard his name. Probably ‘Lee Seop’……?”

The moment I said the two-syllable name, Kim U-in’s expression froze cold.

“What did you just say?”

---

Manager Kwon Mu-seop opened a photo album with a face more rigid than usual.

“Can you find the face you saw in here?”

I looked at the photo Manager Kwon Mu-seop held out.

It was a group photo of 5 or 6 armed agents gathered together.

But perhaps because it was a somewhat old photo, or perhaps because it was a photo of a different organization, the color of the combat uniforms was somewhat different from the Bureau’s.

The Bureau’s combat uniforms were black.

The combat uniforms in this photo were dark gray.

But in the photo, there were faces I knew.

One was Manager Kwon Mu-seop, looking a little younger than he was now.

And the other was a bratty Cha Si-eon with short hair.

Then was this an old photo of the Bureau?

I passed over the faces I knew and was about to examine the others too, but my eyes stopped immediately.

“This person.”

I pointed to a man in the photo.

Beside the short-haired Cha Si-eon, who stood expressionlessly, there was a man with an arm around his shoulders.

He was a person whose broad grin made him look quite cheerful.

His expression was completely different from what I had seen, but even so, I could recognize that face clearly.

“I think it was this person.”

It was the man named “Lee Seop” whom I had seen under hypnosis.

“It was really this person?”

“Yes. It was exactly this face. Is it correct?”

I asked back while examining Kwon Mu-seop’s expression.

A strangely dark face.

“You said you’ve never heard that name anywhere before. No, of course you wouldn’t have. It’s a prohibited item.”

“A prohibited item?”

“Yes. It’s something you should know too. I was planning to tell you once you adapted a little more…….”

Kwon Mu-seop muttered while rubbing his forehead.

Then, as if he had decided something, he opened his mouth after a long while.

“That person is an agent whose records were blinded because of a serious contamination issue. Because even mentioning his name or looking at his photo can have direct or indirect effects.”

“Direct or indirect effects?”

“Indirect effects are physical reactions like headaches or lethargy. Direct effects are transfer phenomena where one gets dragged into a specific Special Zone.”

A person could become physically ill or get dragged into a Special Zone?

Just by saying that agent’s name?

“That is why mentioning that agent is prohibited. Director Kim U-in must have already warned you, but you should be careful from now on too. If you absolutely must mention him, leave out the name and somehow detour around it with his characteristics or the like.”

“Yes, understood.”

I nodded at Kwon Mu-seop’s warning, then flinched in surprise at a thought that crossed my mind.

Something I should know too.

And an agent whose name was absolutely never mentioned.

“Don’t tell me…….”

“Yes. That’s right.”

As if noticing my thought, Kwon Mu-seop nodded.

Then he revealed it in a calm voice.

“The Bureau agent who kept getting dragged into Special Zones like you. That was this friend.”

---

I had thought it was strange since before.

The Bureau agent who had kept getting dragged into Special Zones like me.

If there was a precedent like that, naturally, they should have told me in detail.

That way, I could learn from that person’s trial and error, or compare my situation and that person’s situation to understand the phenomenon.

But until now, I had not heard anything properly about that agent.

When I received the appointment offer, I only heard a brief explanation through Jae-gyeom that there had been a similar person.

But that person was Lee Seop.

Someone who had been on the same team as Kwon Mu-seop.

And someone who was processed as having died in the line of duty 3 years ago, when in reality, all his records had been erased because of serious contamination.

Having heard this much, I could understand why they had hidden it from me.

The problem was not that mentioning him was forbidden.

It was because that person’s end was too atrocious.

I was tired.

In the end, I had learned nothing.

But I decided to wait a little longer.

Because Acting Team Leader Oh Tae-o had said he would look for another method.

Deliberately emptying my thoughts, I raised my stinging left arm.

The nail marks newly carved into my forearm.

The fact that I had carved something like this into my arm must mean I wanted to notice something when I came to.

Perhaps it might even mean only I should recognize it.

I smiled gloomily at my chaotic delusion.

Then I finally closed my eyes.