Chapter 111

There is a saying that you reap what you sow.

If that saying is true, perhaps my current hardship was karma for giggling over the Bureau’s old photos yesterday.

Flick, flick—

High schooler Seo Do-un put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

And Cha Si-eon turned to look at me with eyes that had much to say.

I no longer had the strength to feel any more shame, so I quietly muttered,

“I was an adolescent in need of attention.”

“More than attention, it seems guidance was urgent.”

“I acknowledge that point too.”

At the word guidance, our gazes naturally turned toward the driver’s seat.

There was a lump that had not yet revealed its substance.

“He was the person who looked after my studies. He was my father’s employee, and his main work was managing my academic performance.”

At my words, the graphic error sitting in the driver’s seat changed into a man in a suit.

The man had barely taken shape, but he did not move yet.

So I added an explanation.

“He took good care of my assignments and academy schedule, but he did not scold me for anything else. Even if I smoked in the car, he only cleaned up afterward.”

Just as Cha Si-eon said, I was a brat in need of guidance.

But there was no adult who told me smoking was harmful.

Nor anyone to say that if I smoked when I was young, my lungs would be ruined.

Nor that I would suffer when I tried to quit.

The me back then had not even heard such simple admonitions.

As expected.

The suited man said to me in a kind voice,

“You worked hard today too.”

It was merely a perfunctory greeting.

Instead of answering that, high schooler Seo Do-un only exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke.

Then the man pressed the vehicle’s air circulation button and took hold of the steering wheel.

The man began driving and asked in an ordinarily kind voice,

“But did something happen at school?”

“Why ask when you already know?”

Mm, yes.

The me back then was not exactly a brat who would have listened to guidance either.

And was it my imagination?

Team Leader Cha seemed to be under severe stress.

For some reason, Cha Si-eon kept taking deep breaths beside me.

This too, yes.

To this by-the-book man, high schooler Seo Do-un’s lack of manners must be hard to accept…….

On the other hand, the man in the driver’s seat paid no mind to my attitude and continued speaking.

“I got a text from your homeroom teacher. They said you had a bit of a clash with Assemblyman Jeong’s nephew.”

“So?”

If there was no excuse, he could have at least explained.

High schooler Seo Do-un did not even want to do that, so he brazenly asked back.

“That kid’s uncle is not even in office anymore. Is there any need to care?”

“I think this is the adults’ fault.”

Before Cha Si-eon could say anything, I quickly struck first.

“How carelessly must the adults around me have spoken in front of a child for a high schooler to say something like that? This is entirely the environment’s fault.”

Look at it in the first place.

It was not “did you fight with a classmate?” but “did you clash with Assemblyman Jeong’s nephew?”

A worldview where a high schooler smoking heavily behind an adult was fine, but “clashing with Assemblyman Jeong’s nephew” was troublesome.

What would a child learn in a place like that?

Was he accepting this claim of mine?

Cha Si-eon murmured quietly.

“It is a miracle you became human.”

“……I will take that as a compliment.”

Even amid this, high schooler Seo Do-un showed off extreme rudeness.

“If you are going to report it to Father, do it. Father will be the one to judge.”

“No, Do-un. I only asked because there cannot be a flaw on your school record. I am sorry.”

An adult apologizing for no fault.

And a boy not being scolded despite doing wrong.

Seen through an observer’s eyes, it was a truly bizarre scene.

With complicated feelings, I looked at adolescent Seo Do-un.

The past me, a mere high schooler, with a cigarette in his mouth and an expression as if he had already lived through the whole world.

I was that sharp back then.

Perhaps because of that, no one came close to me at that time.

Those who tormented me and those who tried to befriend me were the same.

I did not go out of my way to approach others either.

Because there was something I had to do.

My time and energy were limited, and the people around me were competitors anyway.

So instead of wasting time laughing over useless things, it was more beneficial to solve one more problem.

Useful connections would form once I went to university.

There, I would meet people on my level.

……That was what I thought, foolishly.

High schooler Seo Do-un rubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray.

Then the man, who had kept watching through the rearview mirror, said,

“I will wake you when we arrive at the academy. Close your eyes for a little while.”

As if he had intended to do so anyway, high schooler Seo Do-un buried his face in his collar and closed his eyes.

That was right.

Once, I had lived inside such a greenhouse.

It was a greenhouse made of transparent ice.

---

Hzzzt— hzzzt—!

This space had worse noise than the previous ones.

Static like a broken radio turned up to maximum volume.

The silhouette of the space shook as if it would explode at any moment.

“This is…….”

Cha Si-eon looked around as if on guard.

But there was no need.

Because this place was…….

“My room.”

Just an ordinary room of mine.

When I recited that calmly, the space that had been shaking as if there were an earthquake abruptly stopped.

Then the cracks in the space disappeared, and a wide room appeared.

And in the corner of the room, something was still violently shaking.

That was the cause of the vibrations shaking this entire space.

“And that is me after ruining the CSAT…….”

Along with my confession, high schooler Seo Do-un revealed himself.

That arrogant brat had his back against the wall and was crying silently.

Good grief.

To think I had to see even this sort of thing again from an observer’s perspective.

College entrance examinee Seo Do-un, crouched in the corner of the room, had buried his face in both hands.

That alone was disgraceful enough, but noise crackled around him.

As if representing how much of a mess his feelings had been at the time.

Looking at that noise, Cha Si-eon asked back.

“He is like that because he ruined the exam?”

“Yes…… My stomach cramp flared up during the exam, so I messed it up terribly.”

Cha Si-eon looked puzzled at my answer.

“Were you not from a fairly good university?”

“I did enter a school evaluated as decent, as a result.”

His eyes looked at me as if saying, if that was the case, it was not a complete failure, so why the misery?

I swallowed a sigh and continued speaking.

“But in the end, I could not go where I had originally aimed. My father wanted me to become a judge who graduated from a national university…….”

“Hic, hng…….”

Along with my confession, the third-year high school Seo Do-un began moving.

That Seo Do-un was crying while swallowing the sound of his breath.

With Cha Si-eon’s bewilderment added to that, I was about to lose my mind.

On the other hand, the very fact that I found this uncomfortable seemed to mean I was still clinging to this old matter, so I decided to simply empty my mind.

Yes, that was all already in the past.

Besides, once we left this place, Cha Si-eon would not remember it anyway.

So there was no need to be embarrassed.

Half giving up like that, I muttered,

“My father was, in many ways, rather great. So listening well to Father was my family’s household motto.”

“Then was it not simply a matter of retaking the exam?”

Was this really something for him to cry over as if the world had ended, just because he ruined an exam?

He was not a child, but someone who would soon become an adult.

And a brat from a family with plenty of money, at that.

……Cha Si-eon looked at me with that nuance.

This is why normal people.

“Team Leader, do you think the words ‘become a judge who graduated from a national university’ really only mean becoming a judge who graduated from a national university?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The true meaning of those words is to become the best human being.”

Cha Si-eon looked at me with eyes that could not understand.

But even if he looked at me like that, what I said was true.

At least in my father’s way of speaking.

“In other words, ‘a son who is a judge from a national university’ is the concrete form of ‘a son who can gain comparative superiority no matter where he is presented.’ So at that point, it was already over. Whether through retaking the exam or transferring, even if I belatedly entered the school I had aimed for, the fact that I was inferior to those who had passed on the first try would not change.”

“……?”

Cha Si-eon’s face still said he did not understand.

Looking at that uncomfortable face, I added in a joking tone.

“You probably do not really understand, but families like that exist. I found out by being born into one too.”

“So has that memory been properly organized?”

Cha Si-eon asked while pointing at the distorted periphery around high schooler Seo Do-un.

Around the sobbing Seo Do-un, noise still remained.

And that noise blinked as if it would cause a blackout, shaking the space unstably.

So I understood why Team Leader Cha continued to stay on guard.

---

※Precautions※

Those who have a past they have not yet overcome or trauma must not carelessly approach their own 「Life Chronicle」.

↳ Kim Ji-an: If one faces a memory that has not yet been resolved, one can be overwhelmed by the emotions from that time.

↳ Jo Eun-bi: What happens if they are overwhelmed?

↳ Kim Ji-an: Trauma reactions such as emotional agitation, cognitive disorder, and panic attacks may arise, and in severe cases, a phenomenon called 「Memory Flood」 occurs.

↳ Jo Eun-bi: Specifically, what kind of phenomenon is 「Memory Flood」?

↳ Kim Ji-an: The records are erased, so precisely……

↳ Cha Si-eon: Immediately after 「Memory Flood」 occurred, minor abrasions and equipment loss were reported among the field agents. In addition, several agents accompanying the person to whom the 「Life Chronicle」 belonged were also transferred into their own 「Life Chronicle」. Taking these together, we presume an impact similar to being swept up in a storm or wave occurs.

---

Yes.

Facing an unresolved memory, a so-called trauma, inside a 「Life Chronicle」 was dangerous.

Not merely because it was embarrassing or felt unpleasant, but because it caused a phenomenon called 「Memory Flood」.

And the state of high schooler Seo Do-un here now was clearly not normal at a glance.

“Uuugh, hng…….”

Seo Do-un sobbed as if the country had fallen.

Hzzzt— hzzzt—

The noise continued occurring around him.

Moreover, we did not even know specifically how the phenomenon called 「Memory Flood」 progressed.

So Cha Si-eon continued to keep watch over my precarious past self.

“Yes, I am fine now. It was a long time ago, and I am no longer a high schooler watching Father’s mood.”

I spoke lightly, partly to reassure Team Leader Cha.

“And my father was a fairly decent person in his own way. He lived harder than anyone, and there are things to learn from him in that respect too. Thanks to him, I was also born with a silver spoon in my mouth and lived well.”

And those things have nothing to do with me now.

That silver spoon had fallen from my mouth long ago, and my life had already moved on to the next chapter.

Most of all, I liked my life as an editor.

Rather than clinging to the past, it was also rational to live well in the present.

“So watching this scene just feels like looking at a previous life. It does not particularly affect me.”

I truly thought so.

But at that moment.

A low voice cut into our conversation.

“You are good at lying.”

The one who said that was none other than me.

Seo Do-un, who had been crying.