Day One Thousand One Hundred And Forty-Four

Dear Diary,

I know I've said this before, but I'm developing a deeper understanding of the term 'mixed emotions'. Like, I always thought it was just something the old heads talked about when they couldn't make up their damn mind how they felt about something, but since I've been here I've been repeatedly exposed to situations, events, and even people who pull me in two different directions, each entirely legitimate, yet in no way compatible with the other. Or others, since sometimes it's more than two.

I guess that's just another sign I'm growing up. Hell, that's another thing I ought to note and watch for in my kids. Not lack of emotions, although with depression running in the family I ought to watch out for that too. Which makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy since my brain just sort of assumed that all my adopted kids are genetically related to me.

I mean, Primordial of Change, they might very well be genetically related to me by now.

At any rate, I don't think adults actually have less intense emotions. Not really. What they have are emotions with more depth, more complexity, more breadth. That's not to say kids can't have complex emotions, but the more life experience you have, the more different ways things can and will hit you.

Fuck, at this point if I run into some full on adult whose emotions are constantly untainted I'm gonna immediately red flag them as immature or arrested development or something. Yeah, now and then something's gonna hit them just one way, but somebody who's never torn about something, or even feeling two distinct, strong, but complementary emotions, like Darling's Fear and Lust, either hasn't had a diverse set of experiences or didn't pay attention to them.

So kinda proud of the fact that I've identified a sign of maturity in myself; now I just gotta remember to talk it out on Sunday with the Docs and the fam and make sure I'm not blowing smoke up my own ass. Also maybe talk with the ladies about having one of them do exactly that, because with all the people who live for that shit, I figure I ought to give it at least the nominal three tries to see if there's anything to that shit. Of course, that'll mean finding a source of weed, because after three cigarettes I only did that shit when it was socially required. Or maybe find somebody who enjoys smoking, because it's not the smell that gets to me, it's the flavor of the smoke. Then again, if I don't like the flavor of the smoke in my mouth, that might affect how I feel about the flavor of the smoke in my ass.

Also, ass cancer, ew. Fuck that shit. I do not want to be a kid with ass cancer. Not that I'm a kid any more, but I'm letting it stand because it's been forever since I dropped an in joke, even here in my Diary.

So I gotta find a source of weed for my ass smoke blowing trials. Maybe I can ask Rabbit; I think weed's Atlantean, not Europan.

Picking my train of thought back up and putting it back in the track I intended, I got a whole assed loaded buffet plate of mixed greens emotions when Red stood up and made his announcement. On the one hand, some definite surprise of the good variety. Fuck, multiple flavors of surprise, even. First of all, surprise that of the three of them, Red was the first one to step forward. Second, pleasant surprise that we'd judged the Captains correctly, and they weren't gonna try to weasel out of any of our Contracts at the very first opportunity. Third, kinda distant, because I'd already clocked all three Captains as professionals, surprise that even standing aboard the largest, most heavily armored and armed ship any of them had ever seen, they all three started moving toward the door, headed for their ships.

Of course, mixed with that were multiple different kinds of annoyance. And maybe just the tiniest soupcon of fear. Annoyance at whatever group of ships decided to interrupt our celebratory dinner. Annoyance at the fact that instead of celebratory shenanigans, I'd probably be recovering in the Bath tonight, like I did most nights after I pushed myself. Also, finally, a mix of annoyance and fear at that fact that yet again, bullshit had wound up hitting on a Tuesday afternoon.

I do not trust patterns.

Probably for the best, replied Saffron just as wordlessly.

I'm gonna go have a talk with the Norns after all this, I thought as I Translocated in front of Red and said, "I can get you there quicker."

Probably best to take Aisling with you. Then, her mental voice pitched to carry, ladies, to your Tentacles.

What? Why? As Red reached for my hand, I tugged him along toward the nearest hatch leading outside. "Can't Translocate through the hull or exterior walls of the superstructure; she's protected against that."

He nodded, pursing his lips. "Good to know."

I Co-Located myself next to each of the others, stepping them to their ships as soon as we cleared the door. Meanwhile Saffron replied, just because our new mercenaries are ready to fight for us doesn't mean we ought to force them to fight alone. Also, please let them know that if it comes to a fight, we'd prefer capture to killing. Much as we did with them.

As I passed that on to all three Captains, then stood back and let them get about their business, while still keeping one of me near each of them, I thought, no, why take Aisling along?

Both because I've noticed you control your responses more around her, and because I think it would do her good to see her mother doing just that. Controlling herself in a stressful situation.

I sighed. Because she was right about both, even if I only realized the former after she said it. Yeah, I try not to upset her if I can avoid it. Thanks, Kitten.

You're very welcome, love.

As the low murmur of my ladies coordinating the Tentacles filled the back of my brain, and I Co-Located one more of me to the Black Dragon to join Swanson on the bridge, Anne smirked over at me and said, "so, keeping close tabs on us?"

I smiled and shook my head, because I really hadn't even thought of that. "Nah. But you see me over there," I nodded toward Red's ship, where I waved back at her.

Yeah, none of the Pirates were stupid, and they all knew their jobs well enough to catch the implication. Okay, Anne caught one immediately. "Instant communication between ships."

I shrugged. "Well. Not exactly instant. But faster than any runner. Probably faster than signal flags, and way more reliable."

She nodded, and I passed her first message, that being to let Red and John know about our communication advantage. Yeah, these were mercenaries, but they'd shown themselves to be professional ones, and given the nature of our advantage, they'd need a Deity to take advantage of it. Or Mages close enough to set up long term Private Message and loyal enough to let themselves be separated.

Meanwhile aboard the Black Dragon Swanson had started the whole process to take her into the air. By the time she lifted clear of the water, the Tentacles were catching up to the Pirate ships, which had begun streaming around the stern of the Black Dragon. Okay, the Tentacles used that particular maneuver to catch up and pull even, what with them knowing that the giant wall of metal was about to vacate the ocean.

I'm tempted to just hop over as soon as I see them and end this.

Patience, love. Remember the Kaiju.

Yeah, yeah. I can't be everywhere at once.

So I stood there on four different bridges, not to mention having one of me back at the Homestead with Marie, feeding the kids. Which, since I wound up bored out of my fuckin' skull, included Aoibh. Can't be bored or too excited when breastfeeding. Okay, I can't. It's just soothing, keeping me from the need to do anything else, while also keeping me from getting too worked up about anything else.

It took all fuckin' night to track down those ships.

Turned out there were six of them, plus at least one launch each, which meant that when they poured on the sails and scattered into the dark, we had to chase down twelve different boats. We had enough ships to do just that, and Saffron had not only gotten the Black Dragon's radar working, she'd adjusted it to account for my ship's newfound flying capabilities. Wooden sailing ships aren't great radar targets, but on the other hand they have absolutely zero ECM, and their top speed was practically standing still, which meant that every time our surface ships lost one of the targets, a spotlight would spear down from the sky and show them exactly where to look.

Not like there's an abundance of cover in the middle of the fuckin' Atlantic.

Fortunately, the Pirates chose the path of wisdom and, when they realized roughly half of the ships chasing them were also Pirates, ran up parley flags.

One at a fuckin' time.

Fortunately for my peace of mind and the new batch of Pirates retaining all their pieces, when dawn broke, lighting everything up, the few remaining ships were close enough to ships that had surrendered to realize that nobody was executing anybody out of hand. They also realized where the spotlights had been coming from and, other than one particularly optimistic archer, decided that running and fighting were both bad options.

Honestly, I couldn't even be mad. Too impressed, what with him managing to fire an arrow high enough to plink harmlessly off the Black Dragon's armored hull.

Gotta find out who that dude is and see if we can get him to move to Phileo. Or Rich Man's Port. 

After I have a little chat with the Norns.