Day One Thousand One Hundred And Fifty-Nine

Dear Diary,

Parenting is hard. Honestly I'm not sure how people who can't be in more than one place at a time do it.

Seriously, even with the Wifiest of Wifes, my genius Kitten, and me distracting her, Isnomi was a challenge for all three of us back in our Academy days. I'm really not sure how our horde of kids has done anything but become an absolute chaotic madhouse.

I mean, there are days when the Homestead, most especially East House, winds up kind of a madhouse, yeah, and most days are pretty fuckin' chaotic as well, but it's the good kind of madhouse, the productive kind of chaos that signals something is alive and well and growing. Read that in a book back in the day, something about a box of puppies. The only reason a box of puppies is gonna be quiet is if there's something desperately wrong.

Which, to be honest, is why I was always more of a cat person. I mean, beyond the fact that to get a cat, all you need to do is go outside with some cans of cat food and wait, whereas getting a dog is a whole assed thing. But a box of kittens is always calm. Either the kittens are asleep, in which case they're not causing chaos, or they're awake, in which case those little buggers aren't gonna stay in the box, which means the box is empty, which means the box is calm. Or it's no longer technically a 'box of kittens' so much as just a box.

Yeah, I'm tryna do my best to plan out Davey's party tomorrow, plus tryna make sure I don't miss my weekly Revel entirely, because my faithful volunteers haven't gotten nearly as much attention as I've wanted them to. I mean, yeah, I've been to Revels, lead them, but it hasn't been as much of the quiet one on one time that I treasure so much. The fact that I've now got to deal with a whole assed coup on the Thames is just not helping anything whatsoever.

So yesterday Red and I interrogated the guy who led the abortive attack on Tallulah and I when we visited their launch. When I got home, after a dinner of roast meats, salads, fried potatoes, and differently roasted vegetables, I snagged Tallulah and Saffron in the Bath.

"You guys ready for the deets Red and I got from the ensorcelled Pirates?"

They exchanged a glance, and after Tallulah nodded to Saffron, my Kitten turned to me and shook her head. "Later, love."

So we soaked for a while. Eventually the kids got sleepy enough to climb out, and after drying off we all trooped down to the bedroom. Shortly after the snoring started, Saffron pulled us both to the Bedroom, Co-Locating us there. Before I could ask her what was up, T silenced me with a kiss. I felt Saffron Shape something, and when Tallulah pulled away, the room felt weird.

"What was that?"

"Anti Scrying Ward. Elle, could you?"

Tallulah stood, and Saffron took her place on my lap. She kept my mouth busy while Tallulah did her thing on the Ward. After a couple minutes, she turned and said, "done."

"So we've got two layers of Scry protection then?" Both of them nodded, and I pushed my Blend up around us. "So that makes three."

"Thank you, love. Now, what did you have to tell us?"

I shrugged. "It isn't a lot, but everything points to T's old nemesis fucking around in London Town."

"London? You're sure?"

"Eh. Whoever it is has claimed the Title 'Faerie Queen of the Pirates', claims to be the rightful Queen of all the Thames Pirates, and also has declared via her cat's paws that she's gonna steal your man."

Tallulah looked at her. "'Faerie Queen?' You're certain she said 'Faerie'?"

"I mean, she didn't say it, her lackey did, but I can't think she'd mind screw somebody just to give them a wrong Title."

Tallulah rocked her head side to side. "I can think of reasons, but those are pure speculation." Then she got an odd look. "My man?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. I think she realizes that you've picked a new potential sire, but somehow she's either missed that it's me, or she's missed that I'm a woman."

Saffron just smiled at the two of us. "Well, you are fairly female for fathering, love."

I snickered at that, then shrugged. "You guys think we need to talk with the Captains about this?"

They looked at each other, then back to me. "That seems wise. We'll also want to bottle up any of the Thames Pirates who haven't joined with us. So we'll need to be up early tomorrow. Which means this will need to be quicker than I'd hoped, Elle."

"Needs must."

"Wait, what will be quicker than..."

Yeah, stupid question, which they interrupted before I could get it all the way out.

Dreamt of my ladies still viewing reruns of that last Revel.

Today I split myself a couple different ways. One of me teaching Math to the kids at the Temple of Love. One of me guarding Adrienne while she filled in for her mom. Totally sad that I couldn't do my normal lazy cat marking her calves thing, but she's basically my daughter now. So instead my Fae son-in-law and I played cards with a deck I stole. Gotta hand it to him, he's got the Trickster thing going on, and I'm pretty sure both of us using our full Trickster power to cheat at cards distracted any would be villains in the Overlord's Keep. One of me stuck around the Grand Council chambers, more out of habit than anything else, and I had two of me at the Academy; one watching Siobhan, idly hoping she'd flash me some under boob or bend over just the right way to get a look at her through the opening on the back of her gown, and one helping Marie with Maid stuff.

Meanwhile Tallulah, Saffron, and I met with Red, Anne, and John on the Black Dragon.

Tallulah opened up by asking Red. "Why would she call herself the Faerie Queen? Or did she say Fairy Queen?"

Before I could put my foot in my mouth, I remembered what she'd told me about the difference. Of course Red came back with an answer that sort of explained things. "There's a Keep of sorts in London. Used to belong to the Sidhe, but then some Archmage kicked them out. Not sure how, but the Global Spell," he snorted, "that covers the Keep, as well as the surrounding area, specifically nullifies Fae magic. Sidhe magic especially."

"But..." I interrupted, and while everybody staring at me didn't make me happy, I forged forward. "Aren't Fairies, like, Fae but less substantial? More Mana than Fae?"

Tallulah spoke as if considering her words very carefully. "They are, and they are not. Many, even almost all of them appear to be Fae. But they are no more Fae than... Than..."

"Than a Goblin is Bag," finished Saffron." Tallulah nodded, and Saffron continued the explanation. "If the Archmage who emplaced this Spell lacked the Mana to make it cover more than a portion of the City, they might have needed to make it very specific in order to enable it to overcome the Magical nature of the Fae, the Sidhe especially." She paused, and even if she didn't wince, I realized she kinda wanted to when she added, "also, the System Spell may have weakened lesser Global Spells. Possibly removed them entirely."

Red did not look happy about that. "So she calls herself a Fairy to bypass the Keep's defenses, which might not exist any longer?"

"I'm afraid so."

Tallulah cleared her throat. "It's also possible she's recruited Fairies as well." She looked a little sick when she said that. "They are... Less orderly than most Fae, far less so than Sidhe, but their magics, while fleeting, are unusually powerful for beings of their size."

I turned to the Captains, who all looked some degree of pissed at this point. Kitten?

Go ahead, love. I think they like you more than me. Or see you as... More impartial, perhaps?

"So. You guys sound like you could use some help clearing an unwanted guest out of your Keep." I smiled to take any sting out of my words. "The Alliance Navy stands ready to help you take care of business."