Day One Thousand One Hundred And Eighty-Six

Dear Diary,

Y'know, I don't think I've put nearly enough time and energy into understanding my Troll Legion. Which isn't fair to them, either individually or as a group. I mean, I didn't really ask to be their Legate, nor their Goddess, but then again I didn't really 'ask' to be the Patron Goddess of the Alliance so much as it...

Just Happened.

Yeah, okay, look, if I'm going to wander around metaphorically, and for that matter literally, fucking everything I don't fuck up, I at least have a Duty of Care to make sure that everybody gets a fortune cookie, metaphorically or not. The Maenads are now, or at least were, and I don't want to think about 'and are again', being reliably tended to by Dionysus. The people of the Alliance are getting food, shelter, and medical care as a baseline, with my Temples also providing 'psychological counselling' and 'entertainment' for my Worshippers. Which means that alongside me leading by example, any Deities who don't at least match the Temple of Love's benefits package are likely to have some Worshippers drift my way.

I mean, I'm not doing it because of that, but maybe Thor can put some Coaches in at the Temple of Storms or something. Pretty sure Diana's Clergy have been redirected from blowing smoke up her ass to tending to their congregations. Not sure what D provides at the Temple of Kings, or really not sure why he chose it other than technically being the Heir to Olympus, but if he's providing the same kind of sh... serv... stuff I am at the Temple of Love, more power to him, because ain't no way one or even two Temples, even big ones, are gonna be able to provide for every fuckin' person in Phileo.

So when it comes to Human Adjacent persons, I've done my best, which is mostly providing Saffron with the lever and firm place to stand, but given how often I'm the firm place she's standing, I'll take it. When it comes to less Human Adjacent persons like my Kraken, I recognized from the very start that they were... Alien. Not 'non-person' aliens, but not entirely not that, either. I kind of get the feeling that somehow Keeper, the new one that Saffron and I created, is also the Keeper who helped free me from that box. Which means that the Kraken are basically taking distributed intelligence to the next emergent level and have some kind of hive mind or gestalt consciousness, but with, like, personal expression wrapped up in the ones with Names. Or Titles. Or maybe they don't really see the difference between Names and Titles.

The fact that as far as I know, Great Kraken with Names are also my High Clergy is also a thing I have to deal with, but I've been trying. When I told them they were all Chosen, that seemed like some kind of religious revelation, and I mean in the 'we are now full on Deus Vult for anything Tabitha says' kind of way, as evidenced by what they did to those fleets of Sidhe Cutters.

Speaking of Human Adjacent, nigh alien mindsets being turned to combat purposes brings us right back to the Trolls. Who I've basically been looking on as big, scaly, militaristic Humans. I am now beginning to realize that if anything, they're a damn sight further from Human than the Maenads, who are basically Human Adjacent Souls in slightly anthropomorphized tigress bodies. Which now explains the tiniest bit about my kits rapid growth, but I'm tryna stay focused on my Trolls at the moment.

Because they are mine. I'm their Legate. I'm the one they turn to for leadership, as well as their Goddess. I am also now the source of their new generation of Trolls, which... Honestly I'm not sure how to feel about that, because Furtim hasn't once hinted that she needed, wanted, or expected me to be around as a parent. But then, maybe she didn't think I'd want to be.

In a clear indicator that I'm getting something from my weekly family therapy sessions, upon her informing me she'd had our kids coming to Math class without previously telling me, I decided to make sure she knew I was available for parenting purposes.

Okay, the first thing I said was, "what?"

She shook her head, a single sharp jerk, then went really still. I was not thrilled about that, what with her being a ten feet tall fighter with at least a thousand years of combat experience under her belt, but instead of any kind of violence, she sent me a mental picture of the time we'd done the deed in the Troll Home Temple, then the eggs I'd seen there later. Those you taught are our spawn.

I took a second, then replied, "okay, yeah. I get that. I'm, uh, surprised that they're so big?"

She blinked, then smiled. I mean, not the baring of teeth thing, because Trolls do not really smile that way, but a kind of grimace and blep that Blend translated pretty cleanly as amusement. "Big?"

I thought for a second, then rolled my eyes. "Okay, yeah, they're what, maybe half grown at best?"

She paused in thought, then shrugged. "Half height."

I blinked. I'd been thinking that at my height, they were a little over half as tall as most of the Legion, and they were definitely skinnier than the adult Trolls. She just waited, low key quietly chuckling at me putting the pieces together, until I blinked and said, "they're girls?"

She nodded. "All five of them."

"Wait, weren't there more than five eggs on the Altar?"

She shrugged. "It happens."

I frowned. "Like, some eggs don't hatch, or some young Trolls don't grow up?"

She shrugged again. "Both. But all of ours? Live."

That... That wasn't thrilling, but I guess not every egg that drops out a chicken's butt is fertilized, and Mama Trolls might hit the same thing. But the whole idea that little Troll kids died on the regular did not please me. For obvious reasons. "Okay, I can deal with eggs not hatching, but once they do? If something's going wrong? If one of them is gonna die and you can't stop it? You let me know. Because..."

She wrapped one big claw around my shoulder as she said, "Children Live."

I realized something just then, that she'd been talking a lot more than any Troll I'd heard before. Her voice had a lot of hard consonants and drawn out sibilants, but I didn't think she was speaking Troll. "Are you using Blend? Like for translation?" She nodded, smiling. "Nice!"

She shrugged. "As Prefect, I speak with those not of the Legion who live in Troll Home."

"Cool. Uh... So I'm guessing with a Temple and High Priestess and your own Tentacle, you guys are officially your own City now?"

She got a little bit of a frustrated look. Not, like, super upset frustrated, but 'busy woman' frustrated. I'd had that look. Well, not the Troll version, but still. "Not yet."

"Why not?"

"Constitution."

"Oh. Oh, shit, you having any problems writing it?"

She shrugged. "Can't write well."

That sent me on a trip down memory lane, but on the wrong side of the tracks. "Oh. Oh, shit. Um... You know learning to write is actually easier without Blend, right? Especially if you're already literate in another language?"

She nodded. "The Imperator told me."

Funny, she was the first one who'd really put the kind of emphasis on Saffron's title that made it feel like 'Emperor'. Like... "Uh, I don't mean to pry, but... Were you guys part of an Empire once?"

She got a faraway look. "Long, long ago. Yes."

"If you ever want to talk about that, I'd love to hear about it."

She kinda clapped her jaws a couple times, then shook her head. "Not today."

"That's cool. Did you want to come by the Homestead tonight?"

She opened her mouth, clearly moving to decline, then stopped. After a moment frozen, she looked at one of the Trolls who followed her around, kind of like bodyguards who doubled as runners, and said, "continue preparations. Assault at first light."

Dude did not even say anything, just saluted, then turned and started barking orders at the other Trolls. Literally; I think I've used Blend long enough to get used to the translation enough that sometimes I could hear the actual noises of other languages, especially when they didn't translate perfectly.

Then she held out one claw, almost bashfully. I took her hand, then paused. "Did you want to bring the kids?" She looked confused. "Our little Trolls?"

She looked even more confused. Also kind of scared, which was not a comforting look on a ten foot tall wall of scaly muscle and claws. "Why?"

"To meet their siblings? I mean, mostly sisters, but I'm tryna not forget about Jack as often as I have in the past." I thought for a second. "Unless you don't want... I mean... I'm not tryna force you into anything, or butt in, or..."

I'd trailed off because I was honestly a little hurt, like maybe she didn't want me around our kids, didn't want me to be part of their lives or some shit like that. Which, y'know, was fine, I guess, so long as they were cared for and healthy and holy fuckin' shit I'd just found out about them less than ten minutes ago and I still wanted to take them home and curl around them and hiss at anybody who tried to take them away or hurt them in any way whatsoever.

When I'd explained, the tension in her changed. Almost like she didn't understand, or was fighting against instincts or something. Eventually, as I sat there stewing, she asked, "siblings?"

I shrugged. "I mean, they're our kids, right?" She nodded. "So all the ones living at the Homestead are their siblings." I shrugged. "That's just facts, right?"

She nodded slowly, and a moment later she stepped us both to the Temple in Troll Home. Funny, I didn't get a Blend translation of what came out her mouth next, but I didn't really need one to understand 'kids, get yo asses out here thirty seconds ago'. A few moments later all five Trollettes darted through a doorway in the back of the Temple, and if I hadn't known... Shit, even knowing that they were our kids and she'd just called them, they reminded me of nothing so much as the pack of raptors from the Jurassic Park movies.

She held out one hand, and all five of them grabbed onto it. One on each on her fingers, two on her thumb. Then she turned to me. "Ready, Legate."

Ladies? Five more for dinner. She tensed as I stepped us to the Dining Room, just inside the main doors. At which point everybody in the room looked up at us.

Then Marie stepped out from the Kitchen, sighed, looked at Furtim, and asked, "Raw Meat?"

Dunno why, but Furtim relaxed and said, "that's fine."

We didn't really have any chairs big enough for Furtim, but she was big enough sitting tailor fashion put her a little high for the table anyhow. Meanwhile the girls, kits especially, descended on the Trollettes like properly socialized kids are wont to do when they meet new kids.

Of course the weirdest part of the whole assed night had to be when, after Menace looked at the five of them and said, "hi! I'm Isnomi," in passable Troll, they stood there staring at her. Okay, they were nodding, like they'd heard her and just didn't know what to say next.

Then Davey spoke up. "What are your names?"

All five of them turned to Furtim, who looked at me, kinda lost at sea. "Uh... Is that some kinda faux pas?" When she kept staring half blankly, starting to look a little panicked, I added, "a gaffe? A social mistake?"

She just shook her head and said, "names?" Then, when I returned her confusion with interest, not to mention maybe a little bit of irked at the thought that my Troll daughters didn't even have fuckin' names, she added, "so young?"

I paused, realizing we'd hit one of those major cultural differences. "When do Trolls normally get names?"

She clapped her jaws a couple times, then said, "adulthood?"

"Huh. Okay. Different strokes. Uh, what do you call them then?"

"Kids?" Weird, but I heard the subtle difference in inflection that let me know she wasn't calling them like she had at the Temple, but referring to them.

I maybe panicked a little bit. Okay, I panicked a lot, and may have stepped outside of Time just a tiny bit to give myself time to think.

I... Might have sat there for a long time waiting for mom to show. Then broke down when I remembered why she hadn't. Wouldn't. Then I shuffled a little more of that black sandy gunk into my Maw, because five large little kids didn't deserve me at my falling apart worst.

I stepped back into the flow of Time and asked, "who normally names them?"

She nodded and said, "mates. Squad mates." After a long pause, she added, "siblings?"

I caught something subtle from that. "If any survive?" She nodded. "Okay. Well. All five of our girls are surviving if I have anything to say about it. And I do. So... Um... Are nicknames okay?"

She paused, gently clapping her jaw; I realized right then it might be a kind of nervous habit of hers when she knew she ought to say something, but didn't know what to say. After a while she just looked at me and asked, "are they?"

"You're asking me?" She nodded. "Then sure." I looked at my girls, because some of them, my little Pony Girl most of all, had wicked senses of humor, and said, "so long as none of them are mean spirited or anything like that."

At that point Marie and I exited the Kitchen with the big trays of food we'd made, plus about ten pounds of raw meat we'd just cut into, y'know, vaguely Troll bite sized pieces. Which were maybe big tender sized, I guessed. Like four ounces each, after trimming. The girls all glommed onto their new sisters and... Didn't quite drag them over to their normal places, because no way was someone Davey's size dragging one of the Troll kids, but it was clear who of that pair was calling the shots.

My new Troll girls might have a little uncertain of what to do in the situation, but when the food hit their plates, they definitely knew what to do. Which also included swapping food with the rest of the kids. Mostly the kits, since other than Isnomi, none of the others are really fond of raw meat.

Alex and Lindsey both got a tender each in exchange for a loaf of Academy bread that the Trollettes shared between them. Okay, I say 'shared', but there was what looked to be a lot of competition, right up until Menace barked out something in Troll that translated roughly to, "oi! Share nice!"

So weird watching five humanoid raptors freeze, then each nod once at Menace before carefully dividing each loaf into five parts.

I kinda missed the conversation between Saffron and Furtim, because I was watching the girls. Something about the Legion's current mission, but not any kind of in depth assessment. More like asking Furtim how her day at work was.

Furtim definitely enjoyed the Bath, and if our kids were surprised, it took them about five seconds to start scooting around underwater. It didn't take much longer for Anise and Felicia to join them, and that meant Menace, Maze, Lindsey, and Alex followed suit. I may have put up a surreptitious wall of tentacles cordoning off the 'adult' section of the Bath, although the remainder of the kids wound up joining us.

Sadly, I did not get to learn whatever nicknames our kids came up with for the Trollettes, because between eating and playing in the Bath, all the kids were too busy, and I was tryna come to terms with, y'know, five more kids. Who might or might not move into the Homestead.

Probably not. At least not officially. But I think Furtim might enjoy having them here regularly.

Huh? Okay. Why? I mean, why not move in, but why want them to be here?

I realized I wasn't making complete sense, but Saffron just smiled, snuggled me, and answered anyhow. She wants them to... 'Socialize' properly with the Legion. They're likely to be Centurions at the least when grown.

At least?

The possibility remains that should enough new Trolls be born, that they will command their own Legions eventually.

Oh. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Uh... Can the Alliance support that?

She just chuckled at me. I've spoken with Furtim about the possibility. It will take quite some time for that to happen. By then? It ought not be an issue.

I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. That's a load off my mind. Uh... why does she want them here then?

Apparently, there are unfortunate traditions among he-Trolls.

I frowned, trying to hide it. Explain that please?

Not what you think. There is a tendency for male Trolls to eat the young of other male Trolls.

The fuck?

She shrugged. It hasn't happened for centuries, at a minimum. Not since the last female Troll, the last Troll Legate, who was slain by Honey Seeking Bear. She paused, worked her mouth a little, like she was sounding something out. Beowulf.

I... Didn't have the emotional clock cycles to deal with that just then. Huh. Okay. Um... Okay, so she wants us to sit when she's busy doing other shit?

Basically, yes. Although she's worried.

Why?

Promise me you will not be... No, that you will not act on your upset?

I sighed. Is anyone in danger?

No. She just... Does not think, but feels there is, even as she consciously has been told that feeling is groundless. She might even consciously believe it is groundless.

I nodded. Okay, hit me.

While the most common type of cannibalism is male Trolls eating the male offspring of other males, the next most common is male Trolls eating females they've sired.

Yeah. Took me a while to grok that. When I finally did, I carefully detached myself from Saffron, then glided over to Furtim. Dunno how, but I realized she'd felt me approaching. "Legate."

"Furtim. Enjoying the Bath?"

"Yes."

"Having a hard time relaxing?"

She tensed, then sighed. "Yes."

I slipped in under her, behind her, until I surfaced with the back of her head on my chest. My personal pillows aren't impressive compared to Saffron's, but they're still surprisingly soft and full. I mean, I don't want to be flat, and I'm a Shapeshifter, and my ladies like playing with them, so duh, but still, always amused me that like ninety percent of the fat on my body, maybe more, was contained in those two spots.

When I'd slipped in behind her, she stayed tense, but when I pulled her head onto my chest and just stroked the side of her face, she relaxed just a bit. "Furtim?"

"Yes, Goddess?"

"I'm a girl." She looked confused. "A woman." Still not quite there. "As in, 'not a male, not given to male behaviors'."

Something about that finally registered, and she relaxed, smiling. Then barked out a laugh, before quietly saying, "some females eat other females' spawn."

"Okay, one, that ends. Now."

She nodded to our daughters. "Tell them. I will too."

Kinda stark reminder that all of the she-Trolls in the world were currently in the Bath. "Okay. Two?" She tilted her head just enough to look at me. "Those girls are my 'spawn' too."

Weird, realizing both how much that confused Furtim, as well as how much it reassured her.

Of course, the reason I knew that was how quick she fell asleep, kinda pinning me there in the Bath. I mean, I could have lifted her, but I didn't know how light a sleeper she was. Took me a while to get to sleep, too. Same reason, really.

Dreamt of my ladies all kinda playfully nibbling at Furtim. I'm not always fully cognizant of language like that, and tonight was no exception, but I got a strong feeling of, 'you're one of us, you big scaly military nerd, and nobody eats our kids'. Sad, because of my nonverbal state I couldn't make jokes about swallowing. I mean, I could and did swallow said ladies repeatedly, but that just seemed to be the order of the evening.

Woke up early. Like, earlier than normal pre-dawn early. Wound up having to split myself from the Thames to get my shit done today, and most of me were a little distracted. Not a lot distracted, mind you, because while watching the Legion advance up the Thames was fascinating, I didn't once get the impression that they had any need of my help. Then again, their biggest challenge was 'less than lethal combat', what with anyone still fighting us being ensorcelled. But then, all they really had to do was tag their opponents with Cold Iron, at which point they typically went out like a light. 

Shit, Furtim stayed by my side the whole time, pretty much doing the 'stand back and let the professionals work' thing.