Day One Thousand One Hundred And Eighty-Four

Dear Diary,

Y'know, After talking with Saffron, Dad, and Doc G about it yesterday, I'm pretty sure that my whole mental track jump last Friday wasn't enemy action. Which, honestly, is a far more pragmatic worry than a weird manifestation of my ADHD or Divine nature, or an even weirder interaction between the two. That's not to say that it isn't a concern, but it's more of, I dunno, an engineering problem than a military one.

The difference, of course, is that engineering problems can be solved. There's no long term dynamic force trying to tear down whatever solution you build. That's not to say there's not, like, erosion and entropy and shit doing its thing, which means if you're building for the ages you need to factor that in, but if you get your assumptions and math right and make sure the maintenance cycles are maintained instead of left to gather dust, that shit will work until the planet falls out underneath it. Or, in the case of shit that will survive that, until time itself comes to an end. Now, that kind of lifespan might not be feasible, since all the systems required for maintenance are likely to fail, but on the other hand the Great Pyramids are well over four thousand years old and still standing.

Beat to shit and bearing clear marks of erosion, but still standing nonetheless.

Which means that kind of problem can be solved with enough research and planning. Military problems, on the other hand, are like evolution. They're a constant race to find a solution to an enemy's ability to counter plans. So yeah, they include research and planning, but they also include improvising when an enemy rears its head, because plans do not survive contact with the enemy. That's why they're called the enemy. Where the Laws of Physics don't change specifically to mess with the execution of an engineering problem, the enemy sure as shit will change to mess with the execution of a military problem, and they're most likely to do it at the least convenient moment.

Which is both why I hope this Agency thing is an engineering problem, and really hope it's not going to, that we can make sure it doesn't become a military one.

So when we got home yesterday, the kids were kinda wiped out. They'd had some really emotional discussions, and if to me, as a mom, they sounded a little, I dunno, trite, they weren't about me, didn't involve me except as mediator and support. They mostly involved the kids talking about what 'fair' means when eight of the nine youngest are adult sized, not to mention mostly adult brained, and the two oldest are not adult sized or brained, even though Ria is clearly one of the most level headed in most cases. Not to mention smartest.

So Marie and I made sure they each had a mug of bisque before we carried them up to the Bath, showered them down, then let them fall asleep floating. I was gonna towel them off and carry them down to bed, but Saffron and Siobhan convinced me otherwise by glomping onto me and murmuring in my ears as they pressed squishy bits against me. Trust me, that hits different under water, especially the kind of blood warm or hotter water in the Bath.

No shenanigans or antics, not even subtle ones, and I surprised myself by not being at all disappointed in that. Just closeness and contact as we all drifted off to sleep.

Dreamt of all my ladies clinging together not unlike my partners and our kids. Definitely gave me warm fuzzy feelings that each of them had at least one tentacle clutched like a teddy bear, or a Mister Kraken, or maybe one of those Swedish fish from the furniture store.

Today I went about my now normal day. One of me in the Grand Council Chamber, one in the Overlord's Court, one in the Academy Infirmary. If the one in the Overlord's Court got less titillation, that's probably for the best, what with one of me following Tallulah around as she squared everything away in preparation for her trip to the 'home of the Sidhe', the 'ancestral home of the Dan and Bag', which for whatever reason she seemed to have a problem calling 'Eire' or 'Ireland' or anything like that. Not sure what's up with that, and being super duper sneaky so that she didn't give away the fact that she had a Secret Bodyguard meant I couldn't really ask her.

I pushed my Phileo Cadets pretty hard today. Sparring in the morning, then lancaster Squadball in the afternoon, plus a five mile warmup run and a marathon cooldown run. Which I wouldn't have considered a 'cooldown' run back in the day, or even when I started training, but these Cadets aren't Freshmen any more, and I think the softest of them have pushed their Endurance up to the high single digits. What with there being zero need to pull them into recruiting, training, or leading troops, we've got that much more time and they've got that much more energy to point at making them the best cohort yet from Phileo.

With all the folks who left Phileo looking for senior postings in other Alliance Cities, they'll even likely have Hero postings the moment they qualify. Dunno what to feel about that, so I'm choosing to feel proud of my part in making that happen.

Had one of me with my kids at home, although I split apart as needed to make sure they all had oversight. Mostly subtle oversight, although I did play some chess with Maze and got my nails did by Daya and David. Not sure how long they'll last, but I've got what I think are some real rubies on my pinkies. Flat ones, but still very sparkly, and made me feel really special that Daya would set them aside for me.

She also had me drag Murder Mittens in to get her claws manicured. Marie now has little onyx chips on her outermost claw tips.

Meanwhile as we at lunch, I nudged Saffron and thought, suite, please?

A moment later we'd Co-Located to the suite, and while her lip stuck out, she asked, "what's on your mind, love?"

I Blended the suite around us, then laced tentacles through it before leaving us in a little squirming shell. "Had a concern, thought you might be able to help with it."

She sighed. "Go on."

I paused, then said, "only if you tell me what's got your panties in a bunch?"

She sighed. "If you can't guess, it might have to do with not accurately judging the state of my panties. That said, I will tell you once directly you've explained what you need help with?"

"If I haven't figured it out by then?" She nodded, so I took a breath, pushed my Blend a little more, and said, "I'm a little worried about whatever happened Friday being weaponized against me."

She blinked, opened her mouth, then closed it and thought. I waited until she nodded and said, "not worried that it was enemy action, but that an enemy might map out your subconscious impulses or quirks and use them against you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I already lose track of stuff and change gears spontaneously, so somebody bumping me off some course I set for myself isn't gonna stand out the way it might in somebody else." I'd almost said 'somebody with properly functioning object permanence', but I'm trying not to beat myself up, and that starts with not letting the self-deprecating thoughts out of containment sometimes.

She pondered a moment, then replied, "I'm fairly certain that she couldn't cause you to attack one of our own. Perhaps if she clouded your eyes with illusion, but..."

"Yeah, I get that, but I'm more worried about her getting me to hop away to canoodle with you when I ought to be taking a hit for somebody less durable, or doing unto somebody else who desperately needs it."

Saffron nodded, understanding dawning. "I... I'd like to... Hmm... I know I suggested Cold Iron, but there's a problem with that."

"Yeah, I don't hate that stuff as much as Tallulah and Ria, but it still sucks."

"No, not that. Your eventual quarry is likely to run to the M-Space strongholds of the Sidhe Court, and Cold Iron cannot exist there. Since Dragon Hide does not reliably protect against Fae Shapings, we'll need something new." She sighed, but couldn't hide her smile. "Oh, no, more research."

"Really, Kitten?"

She shrugged, letting her smile leak through. "I do enjoy it, and it's been a bit since I got to employ my researching Skills. Besides, this means I get to spend more time alone with you, enjoying the feel of your limbs supporting and massaging me as I work."

She moved her hands through the passes to activate her Shaping test environment, but I caught her hands mid-gesture. She looked at me, opened her mouth to ask, but couldn't speak through Sudden Tentacle. She still grinned as I lifted her, whispering into her ear as one of me walked into the room wearing my Maid uniform carrying a small tray filled with sweets.

"Can't let you start without a proper pit stop to make sure everything's functioning properly first."