Chapter 1768 - 153: Voices in the Mist

Fisher opened his mouth slightly. At this moment, the soft voice of Alagina in his arms reverberated in his mind, as if she was not entirely a female from Sardinia, but a truly fragile soul.

Or rather, even women from Sardinia also have moments of inner conflict and vulnerability.

"I always thought what I had with Fisher should be something called love, a form of lust for the opposite sex. But now it seems not entirely so. Otherwise, I should have an absolute desire to possess your body, always thinking of pinning you down on the bed. But over time, I realized it’s not like that...

"I tried to find the answer, and soon discovered it... Logically, Mr. Jack is already old, and whether in terms of his appearance or Nali’s personality, he’s absolutely not the type welcomed by the women of Sardinia. Yet, the crew on the ship are very envious of Pahetz; and Fisher, your appearance is so exceptional, your posture so alluring, but they don’t look at me with that kind of envy. Perhaps it’s because, from beginning to end, what we seek is not a perfect lover or the outpouring of desire, but a home..."

Fisher recalled precisely the words she said to him before they parted on Patulshen Island, "One day in the future, I want to build a family with the person I love," so it was from here,

"So, the words you said when you left me that year were because of this, right?"

"Hmm..."

Alagina murmured, keeping her head buried in Fisher’s chest like a student seeking answers,

"I suddenly realized why my heart felt touched the first time I saw you, Fisher. Because in my subconscious, I had imagined thousands of times the figure of the person who could give me a home stepping into reality, so I tried every means to get close to you. But I also gradually realized that a home isn’t something that just comes to you but is something you need to build by yourself and eventually live in...

"But I’ve always lacked ambition. I don’t know what kind of family I want to build. Actually, my years of wandering at sea are based on the worldly view of ’wealth and prosperity,’ wanting to give back to my sisters. How would I know how to build a family? The family I grew up in was a twisted and oppressive place; I tried every means to escape it, even seeking revenge on that woman..."

Fisher pondered that this topic might be hard to discuss, mainly because the family notions in Nali and Sardinia differ.

The different social roles of men and women inevitably create differences. These cannot be simply judged by gender swapping, because even the women of Sardinia have the ability to give birth, complicating the ideas of society and family.

"Have you consulted Pahetz for an opinion?"

After much thought, Pahetz and Old Jack, the cross-national sunset couple, seemed to serve as a very meaningful reference sample.

But upon hearing this, Alagina only smiled slightly, nodded, and said,

"...Pahetz hopes I stay away from you. She feels I can’t build the family I imagine beside you. Look, Fisher, apart from me, you have so many people living in your heart. David suggested I snatch and possess you from other women, but regrettably, I’m too timid to even consider such a thought. I feel you’re not an object, nor are the other women connected to you demons.

"During the time at Wutong Tree, even if I saw Valentina as a ’husband stealer,’ scrutinizing her every move with tinted lenses, I still felt she was impeccable. She treats everyone, every race living here, with open arms. Otherwise, my sisters wouldn’t think of settling here... Besides being connected to you, what has she done wrong? Can I snatch the affection between you two? Can I erase the time you’ve spent together?

"But if I disregard all that, how should I handle myself? From my Sardinia thoughts, every hair, every inch of my skin resists accepting her. Emotionally, I loathe her existence, but rationally, I can’t oppose her, nor use any despicable means to compete against her..."

While Fisher was in a daze, she lightly pushed off and leaped from his arms, landing on the half-finished deck.

She slightly spread her arms, looked at the ship before her, smiled at Fisher, and spoke softly,

"Valentina probably hasn’t done anything wrong, nor have you, Fisher. If you hadn’t gone to Northern Realm or followed the Moon Princess’s decree to marry her, she might not have lived past twenty, Wutong Tree would cease to exist, and we, betrayed by the Black Chief and at our wits’ end, would have nowhere to go, I might have died at sea."

"Alagina, if it weren’t for me, Isabella wouldn’t even have come aboard your ship."

Noticing Fisher’s slightly apologetic tone, Alagina pursed her lips, holding back for a long time before finally speaking,

"But, Fisher, are there so many ’ifs’ in this world? If I hadn’t fallen for you at first sight on your ship back to Nali, if I hadn’t relentlessly pursued you in Nali, you wouldn’t have boarded my ship. Then, how long would you have continued to drift in the Southern Ocean with Isabella and Old Jack? Would anything have happened to you? If that’s the case, would the outcome necessarily have been good?"