Chapter 261: Do Not Speak As Loud As My Heart

[FROLO]

"We need to talk," Katya said as he sat on the couch. He had wanted to go to Alek, to hug him, hold him, breathe him in just a little longer, but he didn’t trust himself to do that anymore.

Not after what had happened.

Maybe Katya was overthinking it and not being forgiving, but Alek had gone to the most dangerous organization in the realm after Sergei. That wasn’t the kind of shit anyone got out of easily.

And they both knew it.

To pretend otherwise was stupid.

"About the shares," Katya added once Alek was settled on the seat beside him.

The distance was the first stark reminder of how different things were becoming. At how life was changing fast, and they had to catch up. But damn, couldn’t they even have a chance to press pause on the madness this time?

"We can talk about the shares later, little rose... I need to explain why I did it," Alek said, and Katya stared at him as if to ask if there was ever going to be any rational explanation for the dumbest decision he’d ever had to see Aleksandr make.

"I already heard enough. We need to move on. It’s not like you can free yourself from the Bratva if you apologize countless times now, can you?" Katya snapped, a first for him and Alek.

Even he was shocked that he had it in him to snap at anyone, much less the man he loved. What was he turning into?

"I’m sorry," Alek said after a short silence.

Katya was right, and he knew it. He hated that he had done this to them, but what other option was there now?

"I know," Katya said quietly, like he didn’t have it in him to fight anymore. He didn’t even want to start a fight. Everything was just overwhelming him, and he couldn’t believe that they were happening in real time.

"I can’t take your shares, Alek. They belong to you, and we’re not even married," Katya began, and Alek went quiet.

He knew what this sounded like. He knew what he had done could cost him the very man he was trying to get back. But this soon?

Damn, was fate a cruel aspect of nature?

"Are you breaking up with me?" the alpha asked, devastation written all over his face. He knew he’d made a dumb decision, but this was not one of the consequences that he’d ever thought possible.

"What? Where’d you get that from?" Katya asked in earnest confusion.

"You’re returning the shares," Alek said, like it was the most obvious indicator.

"Because I never should have had them in the first place. It’s already messy out there with the media tearing up V—" Katya said, holding himself back just in time. But Alek had noticed it.

Of course, he had.

This was about his greatest insecurity, and there wasn’t much leverage for him to even use at the end of the day. He had tried the only thing that seemed realistic for him and still managed to fail spectacularly.

"So again, this is about him, right? Sergei? You would choose his feelings over mine again?" Alek asked, and Katya let out a frustrated groan as he looked at the man before him. Surely, he couldn’t be serious right now, no?

"What the hell are you even talking about?"

"Do you love him too?" Alek asked, and for the first time since he’d learned his feelings for Sergei, Katya didn’t freeze.

"Really? That is your takeaway from all of this? That I love him?" Katya asked angrily. He’d never thought Alek would be this ridiculous, but damn was he learning a new layer to the man he loved, and he didn’t like it at all.

"Well, what am I supposed to think if he’s everywhere around you? Scenting, you were the only I could smell? Looking at you like you are his world, and I’m supposed to stay the quiet, good senator who trusts his omega?

"What the fuck did you want me to do, Katya, huh?" Alek boomed, getting up to pace.

He was pissed, too, alright.

He was jealous, and maybe he had every right to be. Sergei had been annoyingly bold over the past few weeks, and Katya hadn’t paid any attention to all that because it was normal for him.

But for Alek to be that bothered about it and involve the Bratva was just insane. What happened to talking to each other? To trying to figure out what they needed to do instead of making fucked-up decisions for both of them?

"So, all that talk about trust, it was all for show? You’ve never trusted me at all, have you?" Katya asked in disbelief, like he could have spent the next thousand years not understanding what the hell this could stem from, and he’d still be right.

Because he had never given Alek a good reason to... Right?

"That man is everywhere. I bet you I’d post a stupid tweet about you tripping on the floor, and he’d send doctors here. He is your ex-father-in-law, for God’s sake, Katya. What the hell do you want me to think?" Alek asked, hitting the nail on the head.

It was supposed to hurt, the accusation.

It was supposed to have Katya think about what he’d been doing with Sergei, and with how things had gotten a little cozy between them.

Hell, it was supposed to discourage the omega from any thoughts of Sergei.

Yet as he listened to Alek snap about Sergei, Katya couldn’t help but think of the man who’d always trusted him.

The man who made him feel like relationships were normal. Like, for once, things would be okay for people like Katya. Like life didn’t have to be filled with ridicule all the time.

The man who made Katya feel safe, trusted, and even loved.

Katya knew the comparison was unfair, but then again, Sergei had just stayed on the call with him for seven hours, and not once did he throw any accusations at Katya.

"Wow. So that’s how you’ve been seeing me all this time, huh? The omega who couldn’t keep himself sane enough to stay away from the Moskowsky ghosts running around?" Katya asked, his scoff making Alek pause for a bit.