Chapter 240: Their Truths… Nothing Left To Think About

[KATYA]

Katya stared at the phone in his hands, and for the first time in forever, the little tech tool felt like it weighed a ton of bricks.

As if that wasn’t enough, the memories came back.

"The whole city, little rose... thinks the barbarian is in love with you... And then the first thing you do after the longest day of your life is... to go to him? What the hell?" Alek had asked frustratedly days ago.

"Does he know that you don’t love him? Is that why all your time is dedicated to him?" Alek had sighed quietly.

And the city?

"The devil would burn the city for the Romanov omega."

"Friends don’t look at friends the way Mr. Moskowsky is looking at Chairman Romanov."

Katya had tried to ignore it all. To pretend like there was nothing. Was it, though? Could he say that confidently after the phone call today?

But then it wasn’t just about the phone call or the city or Alek anymore.

Somewhere deep inside was a memory Katya had sworn never to tap into. One that he had promised himself had meant nothing. That it was just a drunk call.

And for two years and three months, he had made himself believe it.

Because believing it meant all was safe.

Back then, it had made sense to ignore it and not believe it, because Katya had just gone through the roughest patch of his life. He still had been at the moment.

*****

[Two years ago, 13 Emerald Street, Frolo]

Katya had been inside that room since he bled at work, since his friends had sworn to go out there to kill Sergei and Yaroslav.

Then his phone rang.

A landline he didn’t know.

But when he picked up, the first words from the caller knocked the sleep out of his brain.

"Anya... it hurts... he... he hates me... but I l..." Sergei said, hiccupping.

Katya didn’t say anything.

He was too horrified to even form a coherent sentence, too scared to say a word back because the Devil of Frolo had called.

What was he supposed to say to that anyway?

So, Sergei had continued, probably thinking he’d been talking to Anya about what he was going through.

"I never said it out loud... but you know it... You’ve known it all along. Anya... I love him. So much... I love him, and he hates me. I... I would hate myself too after what Svetlana said today...

"I wanted to make him happy. I only wanted to see him happy. He... he thinks I want to take his mother’s heart back... to hurt him... but how do I hurt someone I’ve dedicated my life to all these years... fuck, it hurts.

"Please make it stop. Please... I think... I think I’ll go away again. Let him be happy with his family and friends... Anya... how do I live without the one I’ve loved all this time though..." Sergei trailed off.

And Katya... he had listened.

Disbelievingly. Through it all.

Even after he heard soft snores, whimpers so unfamiliar, so unattached to the man in question.

"... How do I live without the one I’ve loved all this time though..."

That statement alone had Katya confused more than he had ever been since the first real interaction with Sergei weeks ago.

Katya had waited.

For laughter.

For mockery.

For signs of manipulation.

None came.

Yet a part of him knew never to trust a Moskowsky.

So, he just sat there, mind filled with impossible questions that would never give familiar answers. Silently hoping for something. Anything.

But what was he even hoping for?

*****

[Today]

"Then I’ll live for you, Solnyshka."

"Moy lyubim."

Katya couldn’t think.

He couldn’t.

He’d spent so much time running from the truth that everyone was seeing, the truth that he had chosen not to pay attention to, the truth that he was terrified of acknowledging, only for him to hear it loud and clear.

The past, the present, everything was forcing him to face the truth, and he didn’t know how to feel about that.

He had just been having a conversation with his friend.

But now he knew.

No matter how much he denied it, no matter how much he wanted to say the contract had just been signed years ago in the name of protection, it finally clicked.

Because only love could make a person that irrational. The questions Katya had been asking himself in his fearful days were answered with the one thing he’d never wanted to face.

Love.

The barbarian loved him.

The Devil of Frolo was in love with him.

But he loved Alek... Right?

He still saw Sergei as a friend... No?

"Oh my god," Katya breathed as he stared around him, his little moments with Sergei that he’d considered harmless now haunting him.

How Sergei listened to him even when he didn’t have to. How Sergei cared for him. The position. How Sergei was basically a yes man when it came to Katya.

Fuck.

"You have a boyfriend, Romanov," Katya mumbled as he got up.

He had a boyfriend.

A loving, handsome, caring boyfriend.

A boyfriend who loved him so much without asking for anything in return.

’Sergei never asked for anything either... Or should I say, your precious Vladimir?’

His subconscious taunted, but it needed to shut up, because Katya wasn’t about to deal with this today.

’A selfless Vladimir who loves you enough to encourage you to go after your boyfriend. I’ve been wondering for years now... did you really think your Vladimir gave you everything because he wanted to chain you? Seriously?’

Enough. Don’t.

Katya’s fingers tightened around his phone, like he needed the distraction from the facts he was being forced to face.

But then Sergei had never crossed a line; not once.

Not even when he could have.

’You abandoned his event because you thought your Vladimir would be sad on his husband’s memorial,’ his subconscious laughed at the absurdity.

Don’t.

Katya breathed unevenly, like a man who was desperate to deny what was right there in front of him. Because that couldn’t have been what had happened. He didn’t choose Sergei over Alek, right?

’He’s loved you from the first day... and somehow you keep choosing relationships where you don’t have to face that.’

You don’t know what you’re talking about.

’He brought you home every single time without his scent on you... He protected your relationship even when he was the one who wanted you, yet your relationship is still failing.’

You don’t know what you’re talking about.

’You knew exactly what kind of people Svet and Andre were. You knew what that dinner meant. And you still sat there pretending it wasn’t your problem.’

It wasn’t my business.

’Righttt, because your Vladimir went to deal with two alphas who were never his match because he was suddenly feeling philanthropic.’

He’s not mine.

’Because you have a boyfriend... who went to work angry with you?’

I’ll make it right.

’You had a shitty day when you learned he was dating Irina.’

I didn’t...

But Katya knew better than his own lies. He remembered sitting alone that night, pretending that it didn’t even matter.

’You seriously think the most eligible bachelor got into a fake relationship with his long-term best friend right about the time you had Alek as your boyfriend... for fun?’

Stop.

’Fine. Tell me something then... One last one before I leave you to your misery.’

Leave me be.

’If Sergei died today...’

Don’t.

’Would you mourn him as a friend, as an ex-son-in-law, or as the man who chose Sergei over everyone and whom he loved even to his death?’

I don’t... I don’t hate Vladimir.

’So, you love him.’

I can’t. It’s wrong.

’Yes or no.’

He’s Vitya’s husband.

’That’s not what I asked, Romanov.’

He’s older than me by fifteen years.

’You’re deflecting.’

He’s Yaroslav’s father. My ex-father-in-law.

’Yaroslav’s stepfather, if we’re getting into that.’

Still his father.

And for a moment, there was silence, then...

’You know Sergei has murdered so many people over the years and never paid for it...’

What is wrong with you and your questions?

’If Alek arrested Sergei and made him stand trial, even worse, the trial ended in death by lethal injection...’

Stop.

’Would you challenge the decision?’

He’d never get to Vladimir... Not in the way you think.

’What if Sergei surrendered himself to the law?’

He wouldn’t.

’He already loves you. And you’ve seen it in the last two years. Anything you ask of him, he will do it... What if Alek begged you for this? Would you give Sergei up to save your relationship?’

Never.

He didn’t hesitate or think about it.

’Because you lo—’

"ENOUGHHH!!!" Katya shouted instead, making the senator’s staff rush to see if he was okay.

Was he?