Chapter 49: Confessing My Depression

Chapter 49: Chapter 49: Confessing My Depression

Wendy Aldridge and Zara Chapman felt wronged, but didn’t dare to voice it. On camera, they still had to keep up their personas—after all, they were female celebrities. When the show ended, they’d have to go back home to work and make money; letting the audience dislike them would be a costly mistake.

Thinking about how the viewers would see how hard they were working made them feel a bit better. Even though their nails were bleeding, they kept working tirelessly, occasionally wiping sweat or showing their wounds in the direction of any hidden cameras.

It wasn’t that everyone deliberately refused to help them move the rocks—it’s just that everyone had their own tasks. Lynn Miller and Gael Prescott headed off to gather firewood; they needed the flames to last until dawn, and the little Renee and Wendy had collected was nowhere near enough.

Miles Yates, Kyle Beckett, Lionel Lincoln, and Renee Morgan went to find dry grass, which was needed to lay down for sleeping at night; otherwise, they’d have to sleep right on the ground.

In the mountains, dry wood was easy to find, but collecting enough dry grass in one go was tough. They searched nearly the whole mountainside, barely scraping together enough for two tents.

By the time they got back, the sky had already started to darken. Two tents had been set up with some distance between them; Zara Chapman was making a fire nearby, which could also be used as a light source.

Renee Morgan split the dry grass in half; Miles and the others started lining the boys’ tent while she took the rest to pad the girls’ tent.

By the time they’d finished, it was completely dark. Lynn called everyone over to sit on the rocks by the fire and chat, just like their squad leader used to do every night before entering the forest.

Squad One members were pretty quiet; they were mostly listeners tonight.

To avoid leaving them out, Renee Morgan and the others chatted in English.

At first, no one’s English abilities really stood out. As Squad One occasionally jumped in with a sentence or two, the conversation suddenly stalled awkwardly—Miles Yates was always the one to smooth things over. Everyone was stunned by how good his English was.

Everyone’s the same: the English they learned as kids was basic. In high school and college, it was all about memorizing vocabulary by rote. They could say simple things, but anything a bit deeper—even if they understood it—they couldn’t really communicate.

Miles Yates, even though he dropped out to join showbiz, always had private tutors helping with coursework. When he was a trainee abroad, he didn’t just learn three languages—he became fluent. Later, to make up for his education gap, he finished a bachelor’s degree in Meridia, though that was pretty watered-down. He spent a few years there as an exchange student, so it’s no surprise he could speak fluent English.

But sometimes, with cameras filming every detail, Miles speaking English with Squad One looked like a star shining bright. Female fans in the livestream went wild.

Even casual viewers joined in. They all commented, saying they used to hear friends complain about Miles Yates: all looks and no talent, just an empty pretty boy with no acting skills.

This reality show totally shattered that idea. The Miles Yates they saw here had the best manners, handsome but not at all feminine, didn’t obsess over his looks. Earlier, when he cut his cheek gathering branches, he didn’t care about bleeding at all. That casual vibe can’t be faked—and as for talent, being this good with languages is a kind of talent!

They went crazy cheering for their idol!

#Miles Yates’s English# even started trending.

No surprise—Miles was back in the spotlight and blew up once more. Though his popularity wasn’t as huge as Renee Morgan’s, he was now considered a hot celebrity.

Miles could feel everyone’s eyes on him, all focused his way. He’d always been insecure, thinking he wasn’t good enough, never gaining viewers’ support. Even his family disapproved of him being an actor. Before joining the show, he was in a low and confused state—until he met Renee Morgan.

He saw a kind of light in Renee, not the dazzling shell you get standing under the spotlight, not some actor’s aura, but a strength that grew and thrived every moment.

From her, he saw unyielding faith—yet it wasn’t about over-the-top ambition. Anyone could see she just wanted to do a good job on this show, nothing more.

Ordinary but undaunted—this is what life should be. It drew him in, inspired him to rise up, gave him the courage to face himself and reevaluate. He realized—it mattered to get recognition from fans and family, but before that, he had to accept himself. Live without shame, and be open after giving everything you’ve got.

Miles’s thoughts refocused. Squad One had a much better impression of him now, and one of them asked in awkward Chinese, "Miles Yates, what about you? Can you share how you feel?"

Before entering the forest, the squad leader would go around, asking everyone about their day, encouraging them to voice their thoughts. Now they kept the tradition going, but it was just a casual chat—not everyone had to speak.

Miles didn’t expect to be called on suddenly. He was stunned for a moment, looking at the group of guys staring intently at him, realizing this was just their way of showing friendliness and wanting to connect.

Miles smiled softly, replied in Chinese: "Today, I still want to thank my teammate."

"Who?" Squad One raised their eyebrows curiously.

Miles followed their gaze and looked at Renee Morgan: "My teammate, Renee Morgan."

Renee Morgan: "?" Why did he suddenly mention her?

Wendy Aldridge’s smile froze instantly, her gaze dropped in silence, fists clenched, the pain from her flipped nail stinging. She lifted her injured finger to her mouth and gently blew on it—looking weak and pitiful.

What she didn’t know was, unless fans only watched her little camera, she wasn’t in the main frame at all. Right now, Miles Yates was center stage.

Long-time viewers in the livestream all looked amused:

[Alright, it’s time for Miles’s daily thank-you to Morgan.]

[...]

"You thank Renee Morgan every day? Why?" Squad One looked incredulous. Even though they liked Renee, they couldn’t get it—just how deep was his admiration?

Miles felt he’d already thanked her enough. Tonight, he wanted to share something deeper—the moments he felt like running away, things he’d never dared to say out loud.

Miles spoke in a calm, quiet voice: "Before I joined the show, I needed to take a ton of sleeping pills every night just to fall asleep. My doctor kept urging me to cut down, but it didn’t help. My mental health was seriously, seriously bad—I couldn’t control myself anymore. I wanted to be healthy, to have a sound mind, but that wasn’t something I could just decide."

"I even... wrote a letter every day, saying goodbye. If one day I suddenly left this world, I hope my family, my friends, my fans won’t be sad for me, don’t commemorate me in any way—because I’m not worth them doing that."