Chapter 361: Something Felt Like Home

Rebecca’s POV

​For a while, neither of us said anything. Kaden’s thumb eventually stopped moving against my cheek, but his hand remained there, warm against my skin. The room had become so quiet that I could hear both of us breathing, and with every second that passed, the reality of what we had done became harder to ignore.

​Kaden was the first to break the silence. "Do you want to talk about this?" he asked quietly.

​My stomach tightened immediately. "No," I answered, looking away from him.

​His brows pulled together slightly. "Rebecca," Kaden called softly.

​"Kaden, we have a war coming up," I said, cutting him off before he could continue. "In three days, we’re going into Tiger territory, and we don’t even know exactly what we’re going to face when we cross that barrier. I don’t want to talk about this right now."

​Kaden stared at me without saying anything, and I could tell he wanted to say more. There were too many questions sitting between us now, and I didn’t have an answer to any of them. What did this mean? What happens tomorrow? What about Rola? What about Melvin? And what about everything Kaden and I had spent three years trying to leave behind? I didn’t know, and that scared me more than I wanted to admit.

​Maybe Kaden could see the confusion on my face because, after a few seconds, he simply nodded. "Okay," he said quietly.

​That was it. No argument and no attempt to force me into a conversation I wasn’t ready to have. For a moment, I just stared at him. The Kaden I had known three years ago would have argued with me. He would have pushed until I talked, whether I was ready or not. But this Kaden was different. He could clearly see that I wasn’t ready, and instead of forcing the conversation, he respected that and let it go.

​And strangely, I loved that.

​Maybe three years really had changed both of us more than I realized.

​The silence that followed felt heavier somehow. We stayed beside each other for another minute, neither of us seeming to know what to do next, before Kaden finally glanced down at me.

​"I was a little rough," Kaden said quietly. "I’m sorry."

​A small scoff left my lips before I could stop it. "You don’t have to apologize for that," I replied.

​One of his eyebrows lifted, and I immediately realized what I had just admitted. Heat rushed into my face, and suddenly the blanket covering me became very interesting. "I’ve never told you this before, but..." I hesitated before forcing myself to finish. "I actually like it when you’re rough."

​Kaden’s eyebrow rose even higher.

​"Oh, shut up," I muttered as I quickly sat up.

​"I didn’t say anything," Kaden replied, and I could hear the amusement creeping into his voice.

​"You didn’t have to," I told him as I climbed out of bed. "Your face did."

​For the first time since everything happened, the corner of Kaden’s mouth lifted slightly. I refused to look at him long enough to see whether he was actually smiling. Instead, I grabbed his white shirt from the floor and quickly pulled it over my head, trying very hard to ignore how ridiculous it was that I was suddenly embarrassed after everything we had just done.

​"Do you want to take a bath?" Kaden asked as he reached for his boxers.

​I shook my head while pulling the shirt farther down my thighs. "No. Maybe in the morning," I replied.

​Right now, I didn’t want to wash away the feeling of what had happened between us. That was another thought I definitely wasn’t ready to examine too closely, so I pushed it away and climbed back onto the bed. Kaden had already pulled on his boxers by then, and I watched as he picked up the blanket from the couch and started preparing to sleep there again.

​"Kaden," I called before he could lie down.

​He stopped and looked back at me. "What?" he asked.

​I hesitated for a moment before moving farther to one side of the mattress and making space beside me. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing it. Maybe after everything that had happened tonight, watching him return to the couch suddenly felt wrong. "Come over here," I said quietly.

​Something passed through Kaden’s eyes, but he didn’t question me. "Okay," he replied before placing the blanket back on the couch.

​He walked toward the bed and climbed in beside me, making the mattress dip beneath his weight. For a few seconds, I remained on my side, staring ahead and wondering whether inviting him back into bed had been another terrible decision to add to the growing list I had made tonight.

​Then I stopped thinking.

​I moved closer and rested my head against his chest. Kaden went completely still beneath me, and for a second, I almost pulled away. Maybe I had crossed another line. Maybe this was somehow more dangerous than everything that had happened between us earlier because there was no anger to hide behind now.

​But before I could move, Kaden’s arm slowly came around me and settled against my back. I relaxed against him, and that was when I heard how quickly his heart was beating beneath my ear.

​A small smile touched my lips. So he wasn’t nearly as calm as he liked to pretend.

​I closed my eyes and allowed myself to stay there without thinking about tomorrow. I didn’t think about Rola or Melvin. I didn’t think about the war waiting for us or what would happen when morning came and we had to face what we’d done. For tonight, I just listened to Kaden’s heartbeat and allowed the familiar warmth of his body to surround me.

​It had been three years since I had allowed myself to lie like this with him. Three years since being this close to Kaden had felt normal. Despite everything that had happened between us and every reason I had to be afraid of what this night meant, lying against his chest felt familiar.

​For the first time in three years, something felt like home.

​Kaden’s arm tightened slightly around me before his lips pressed softly against the top of my head. I didn’t open my eyes or say anything. I simply moved a little closer, and a few minutes later, with his arm still around me and his heartbeat beneath my ear, I finally fell asleep.