Chapter 300: You can’t be a mimic, Rhys

Elder Ellis didn’t take up too much of their time after that. He of course answered any questions that they had, but he seemed to understand that this was a lot for them to hear and take in. He dismissed himself after a few more minutes of questioning and left.

The apologetic look on his face and his mannerisms, made it all the more real.

Rhys didn’t move. Kellen didn’t move because while Rhys had been keeping everything together, Kellen had been holding his hand. He could feel how turbulent Rhys was on the inside. Kellen wanted to ask him about what was going on, what he was thinking, but every time he looked at Rhys’ face, the words dried up in his mouth.

So, he waited. He held his tongue and he waited.

It was a couple of minutes later when Rhys opened his mouth and with a shaky breath, spoke.

"I reached out to him because he was the more normal of the Elders." Rhys murmured. "He had the best head on his shoulders. He wasn’t as crazy as some of the other Elders. He had secluded himself from the others and I thought...I thought that was because he didn’t want to harm anyone. Wanted to keep people safe." Kellen’s stomach dropped. Oh no. Rhys was beating himself up over this.

That wasn’t good, and Kellen squeezed his hand, turning to face him properly.

"Rhys, you didn’t know. He put on a good show." Kellen said, meaning every word. If he hadn’t said anything, Kellen wouldn’t have known that Elder Ellis could have been a bad guy. He himself admitted that he had planned to turn on them but had decided against it. Kellen would have never seen it coming.

It was clear from the distraught look on Rhys’ face that he wouldn’t have, either.

"I should have known, that’s the problem." Rhys muttered. He squeezed Kellen’s hand in his own before jerking his other hand through his hair roughly. "I’m a fucking Time Esper, Kellen. I should have fucking known. This is always so damn frustrating. Why the hell do I even have these powers and this damn cost that comes with them if I can’t even use them when it matters. I should have been able to see that he was a bad man. That he was going to betray us. Instead, I’m as blindsided as everyone else." Rhys let out a horrible laugh that made Kellen’s heart ache.

It squeezed painfully as Kellen watched the man that he loved smile bitterly at himself. He looked angry, but Kellen could tell that it wasn’t even at Elder Ellis, it was at himself.

Kellen didn’t want that. He was sure that even if Elder Ellis had told them the truth, he didn’t want that for him either. He had told them about his plans and let them ask invasive questions because he had wanted to be honest with them. Sure, it had happened because Kellen had guided him during the meeting, but it also had to come from the respect and kindness that Rhys had shown him over the years too.

While it did suck that Rhys couldn’t use the powers he was given the way that he wanted, that didn’t mean that his powers were useless. Kellen certainly didn’t think so.

"Rhys, you don’t need to beat yourself up over your powers. They aren’t useless. Time powers, as you’ve shown me, aren’t just about seeing the future. Don’t you remember? I went overboard guiding you as you held a little street block, several street blocks, in stasis so that people could search it for the bomb that had exploded in the area and so that they could save survivors and recover bodies. That’s something a Time Esper can do." Kellen reminded him and Rhys scoffed.

"So can a telekinetic. All I do as a Time Esper is take a look at how others’ powers work and try to mimic it, like a damn thief. The only thing authentic to me is being able to reset myself. I haven’t tested it on others because I promised Theo, but I’m sure I could." Rhys said, shrugging and Kellen felt his chest ache more.

"Rhys...I didn’t know you felt this way." Kellen told him, shattered inside. He had no idea about this. They’d never spoken about his powers like this. Rhys had always put on a strong front, showing off his leadership skills, his power, and while he had been a little more helpless then normal when it came to Gunther’s situation, he’d never expressed himself like this. "You aren’t mimicking others." Kellen argued and Rhys gave a dry, bitter laugh.

"I’m not? I follow Hill’s powers, I follow Theo’s powers, I follow Pamela’s powers, even Sergei and Esper Blake. There are so many other Espers that I’ve looked, watched, helped grow and all the while I felt like a thief because I was taking aspects of what made them unique to try and make it my own." Kellen couldn’t stop his body from moving. While they had been sitting next to each other, Kellen could feel how lonely Rhys was feeling.

Getting up seemed to make Rhys think that Kellen was going to leave. From the bitter look on his face, Rhys seemed to think that Kellen was going to leave. He was insane as far as Kellen believed. Leave him? When he was like this? There was no damn way.

Kellen climbed into Rhys’ lap, much to the surprise of the other man and cupped Rhys’ face in his hands. He stared at him, at the shocked, yellow gaze that seemed to be so lost in his own worries that he forgot who Kellen was.

That was okay. It was only a few days ago that Rhys was talking Kellen down, petting him, soothing him. Kellen didn’t think that he would need to do the same so soon, but here he was, mimicking Rhys, if he wanted to put it that way.

"My loving, stupid Esper," Kellen began and watched as Rhys’ eyes grew wider, "what are Field Guides if not Guides who observe others and takes what suits them to survive? What are not people if they are not those who observe others and take what they need to survive? What keeps everyone alive? While it may not be comforting to hear this, but that’s what humanity does." Kellen told him, leaning in and pressing his forehead against his. "You are a human, Rhys, so you are going to do human things. You are going to feel human things." Kellen told him. "And that’s okay. It is. So what if your powers aren’t what you want them to be? They suited what you needed at the time. We can work together to see if there is a way to adjust them. Time is endless for us, isn’t it?" Kellen asked.

Rhys gasped, a shuddering, painful sound before his hands landed on Kellen’s waist and he squeezed. His eyes glowed yellow, as bright as damn high beams, before he closed his eyes and leaned into Kellen’s touch. His hands bruised Kellen’s waist, but Kellen didn’t say a damn thing. He was feeling a lot, experiencing a lot. Having a few finger marks on him wasn’t going to damage him.

Besides, he was sure that Rhys would like them later, and Kellen didn’t mind. If he was Rhys’ stress doll, he’d take it. He would be more upset if someone else was. Even the thought made Kellen want to growl in anger.

"Fuck. I’m sorry." Rhys ground out and Kellen shook his head.

"Don’t apologise. There’s no need. How many times have you talked me down while I’ve been having an emotional episode? Don’t get me started. There is no count between us, Rhys. Nothing. I’m actually glad I can help you like this." Kellen told him and Rhys shuddered.

"I...I don’t know what else to say." Rhys mumbled, and Kellen was sure that the man was embarrassed. Kellen didn’t mind. He just held him, their foreheads pressed together, his weight on Rhys’ lap comfortable. The warmth of Rhys’ body making Kellen feel nice and comfortable. He just hoped he gave the same to Rhys.

"Then don’t say anything. Or, say everything. I don’t care, Rhys. I am upset that you’re hurting yourself and that you’ve been hurting for a while, but I’m here when you want to speak on it more. Elder Ellis doing what he did, what he almost did, is shocking. It is a lot. You’re allowed to be upset about that, but please, don’t disparage the man that I love. He’s a smart, kind, thoughtful man who likes to trust people. There is nothing wrong with that, and I love that about him. He’s allowed to be in pain when someone betrays him, and honestly, it’s a bit of a cheat code that he thinks he is above everyone else when it comes to sniffing out the bad guys. After all, if that was the case, why would I need my new gun?" Kellen asked.

Rhys’ lips curled up slightly, his eyes opening to stare into Kellen’s eye. Kellen relaxed, glad to see that Rhys was somewhat back, the anger and shame and confusion was mostly gone and in its place was adoration. Kellen felt his face warm, but he smiled, his thumbs stroking Rhys’ cheeks.

"Who am I to deny you the right to use your new gun?" Rhys murmured, turning his head and kissing the gloved palm of Kellen’s hand. He turned his head again and kissed Kellen’s other palm as well.

"Exactly." Kellen said, his voice not as strong as he wanted it to be given how the man was treating and touching him.

"Who am I to deny you anything?" Rhys muttered, his hands tightening on Kellen’s waist before they slowly slid up Kellen’s back, pulling him closer. "You are the reason I am even able to be here, living like this, laughing like this. Maybe that’s why I am so scared. I fear that someone else is going to see how wonderful and lovely you are and I will have no means to stop them from taking you." Rhys whispered.

Kellen felt his heart tighten, the pain of it making him gasp.

"Rhys." Kellen murmured. "No one is going to be able to take me from you." Kellen promised. "You’re good at your job, you’re strong, you’re capable, and so am I. I’m not some object that they can win." Kellen reminded him. Rhys swallowed.

"I know. I know you aren’t." Rhys whispered. "I know that you are strong and capable and smart, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not good enough for you." Rhys admitted. Kellen, for the life of him, did not think that he would be dealing with Rhys feeling this way before Brent’s press conference, but damn if it didn’t scoop out Kellen’s heart from his chest and just throw it onto the pavement and stomp on it.

"Oh lovely Rhys." Kellen whispered, pressing his lips against the Espers in a soft, tender kiss. "You don’t have to worry about that. I also have knives on me if someone tries to touch me against my will and my gun doesn’t warn them off enough." Kellen promised.

Rhys burst into laughter, tilting his head back and breaking the forehead connection the two of them had. Kellen still cupped his cheeks, watching as the other man laughed loudly. When he looked back at Kellen and his determined, serious expression, that only seemed to set him off again.

"I love you." Rhys told him, still laughing, and Kellen smiled.

"I love you too." Kellen told him and watched as Rhys seemed to gain power from those words. Kellen didn’t think anything of it. He also gained powers from Rhys’ words of affection and endearment. Kellen gave a soft, slightly relieved sigh. At least Kellen and Rhys could make it through the next few days with Rhys and Kellen in one piece.

Then they could talk a bit more about what Rhys was feeling. Kellen hoped that Rhys seeing how important he was, how much power he held at the press conference, would help. He wasn’t sure, but he hoped it would.

It would have helped recognition-starved Kellen in the past, so he was hoping it was a fix all. Otherwise, Kellen was going to need Brent’s help to comb through the other Elders and beat them up. No one else was allowed to hurt his Rhys like this.