Chapter 208: Closing The Distance

*Runze’s POV*

Sleep never comes.

The room is silent, wrapped in darkness, yet I know Bael is still awake.

I can hear it in the tiny shifts of the mattress behind me, the uneven rhythm of his breathing. Every now and then, the blanket rustles softly before falling still again.

He’s trying not to disturb me.

I keep my eyes fixed on the wall ahead. If I turn around... I don’t know what I’ll do.

Minutes stretch into what feels like hours.

Then—

"...Runze."

His voice is barely louder than a whisper.

My heart stumbles.

I close my eyes for a second before slowly rolling onto my back, then onto my other side until I’m finally facing him.

Bael is already looking at me. He must have been staring at my back this entire time.

"...You’re still awake," he says quietly.

I nod. "...So are you."

Neither of us speaks again. We simply look at each other.

His eyes are red, swollen from holding everything in. The guilt is still there, the fear, the regret.

But beneath all of it... the longing.

He wants to hold me. I know he does. I want him to hold me too.

But neither of us moves. Because this time... it isn’t his decision.

Bael slowly uncurls his hands from the sheets. One hand begins moving toward me. Slowly. Carefully.

It gets closer to mine... then stops halfway.

His fingers curl slightly against the mattress. He looks into my eyes.

"...Can I?"

The question is so quiet it almost disappears into the dark.

I look at his hand, then back at him.

After what feels like forever... I nod.

The breath that leaves him sounds almost painful. He reaches the rest of the way, taking my hand into both of his.

His touch is unbelievable, like he’s afraid I’ll pull away.

Instead of drawing me close... instead of kissing me... he lifts my hand to his face.

My palm covers his mouth and nose, then he closes his eyes and breathes in.

Once. Again. Slowly. Deeply.

His shoulders tremble as he breathes against my palm and wrist, like someone trying to convince himself that I’m really here.

My heartbeat becomes louder inside my chest.

"...Runze..."

He opens his eyes, and they’re wet. He still doesn’t move my hand away from his face.

"...Is there anything left I can do?"

His voice is rough.

"Anything I can do to fix this..." His fingers tighten around mine. "...Us?"

Silence.

"I don’t know how to fix what I broke." He lowers his gaze briefly before looking back at me. "I wasn’t trying to control you. I was trying to protect you. I thought..."

His throat works.

"I thought if I could keep everything away from you... you’d recover faster." He shakes his head. "I didn’t think about what it meant. I didn’t think about what I was taking away from you."

His breathing catches.

"I should’ve told you. I should’ve trusted you. I know that now."

A long silence settles between us.

Then he speaks again.

"If you tell me... I’ll do it. I’ll learn, I’ll change." He closes his eyes for a second. When he opens them again... they’re shining. "I just..."

His voice finally breaks.

"...don’t make me lose you while I’m trying."

Something inside my chest twists.

The hurt is still there. Every word I said earlier still remains true. But looking at him now... I know every word he’s saying is true too.

I slowly lift my free hand. His eyes follow the movement.

My fingers slip into his damp hair, brushing lightly against his temple.

His body goes still beneath my touch.

"I was never trying to leave."

His breath catches.

"I just..." I swallow. "I needed you to understand how much this hurt me."

"I do." The answer comes immediately. "I do now. I swear I do."

We fall silent again. He doesn’t ask for anything else, he simply waits, still holding my hand, still giving me the choice.

I look at the empty space between us. Just a few inches. The same space that felt unbearable earlier.

Instead of waiting for him, I shift forward.

I close the distance myself, sliding across the mattress until my chest presses against his.

The sudden closeness makes Bael freeze for a single heartbeat, his breath locking in his throat. Then, a shuddering exhale spills from his lips—a sound of raw, overwhelming relief that settles deep into the sheet beneath us.

I press my face straight into the curve of his neck.

The scent of the soap from his shower mixes with the clean, familiar heat of his skin. I take a deep breath, inhaling until my lungs expand completely against his chest. My eyelids drop shut instantly, a sudden wave of exhaustion crashing over me the second my forehead rests against his collarbone.

Bael’s hands move to fill every empty inch between us.

One palm slides around my waist, settling flat against the small of my back before shifting lower, anchoring over the gentle curve of my bump.

Through the soft cotton of my pajamas, his thumb begins moving in slow, rhythmic circles—reassuring, steady, warming the cool skin beneath the fabric. His other hand reaches up, long fingers threading deep into the hair at the nape of my neck, cupping the back of my head to hold me securely against him.

I drag my hand up from his shirt, my fingers trailing over the sharp line of his jawline, touching the tense knot in his neck before spreading flat across his chest.

Beneath my palm, his heart is pounding—a fast, heavy rhythm that steadily slows down as he breathes me in.

I let my fingers curl slightly into the fabric covering his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his ribs with every breath he takes. The rigid knot that had been sitting in my stomach since I stepped out of the bathroom finally begins to unwind, muscle by muscle.

Neither of us speaks. We just lie there in the dark, our breathing slowly syncing into a quiet, shared cadence. The lingering sting of the night hasn’t vanished, but the icy distance that filled the room minutes ago is completely gone.

I press my nose further into his skin, letting out a long, quiet sigh that brushes warm air against his throat.

Bael’s arm tightens around my waist, his fingers pressing into my back just enough to keep me anchored flush against his chest, as if ensuring I won’t slip away in the middle of the night.

"I’m not ready to pretend none of this happened," I whisper softly against his neck, my voice barely carrying over the quiet hum of the room.

His chin rests lightly against the top of my head.

"You don’t have to," Bael says, his voice low and grounded, the vibration traveling right through his chest and into my palm. "We’ll take it one day at a time. I’ll earn it back, Runze. However long it takes."

I don’t offer a promise, nor do I demand one back.

I simply sink deeper into his embrace, my palm resting over the steady, calm beat of his heart, letting the warmth of his body carry away the remaining chill of the evening.

The hurt is still there. It hasn’t vanished into thin air. But lying here in the dark, held by the same hands that are learning how to let me breathe, I finally let my eyes close.

I stay there, listening to the steady beat beneath my palm.

Earlier tonight...

The empty space between us felt heavier than anything I’d ever carried.

Now...

There isn’t any space left at all.