Chapter 731: The Goddess in My Bed

“Hi, honey. How about devouring an elven goddess tonight?”

Artemis was lying on his bed.

Luke froze in the doorway, the wine bottle still in his hand. He wiped the wine from the corner of his mouth, trying to figure out if he was too drunk or if this was actually happening.

“How did you get in here? I thought I was the only one with a key.”

“Seriously? I’m lying in your bed and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

“The guy at the hotel gave me this whole pitch about the room being some kind of war bunker.”

She lifted two fingers.

A key dangled between them.

He stared at it.

“That’s because I’m your Advisor, Luke.”

“My Advisor...” Luke closed his eyes for a second. “Oh, no...”

Artemis smiled and brought one hand to the thin strap of her dress, letting it slip to the side.

“I bet you missed me while I was gone.”

“Me? Miss you? Please. I barely noticed you were offline.”

Her eyes narrowed, her smile turning more dangerous.

“Are you sure?”

The door behind Luke slammed shut and locked.

“Hey, why did the door just close by itself?” he said, glancing back.

When he turned around, Artemis was already in front of him. With one push, she shoved him against the wall and pinned him there, far too close.

“Well, look what wandered in.” Her voice slid into his ear, warm breath brushing his skin. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you not to wander alone through dangerous places?”

“Artemis, I’m really not in the mood for games today. My day has been—”

Before he could finish, she snatched the wine bottle from his hand. Her finger brushed the corner of Luke’s mouth.

“There was still a drop of wine there.” She licked her finger, smiling. “Cleaned it up for you, honey.”

“R-right.”

She was too close. Close enough that Luke had to look away.

“I’m so happy, Luke. You’re finally here in the flesh.” Her hands slid over his shoulders.

“Yeah... I am...” Luke realized too late that she was taking off his jacket. “Wait. What do you mean by that?”

“Don’t worry. Tonight is your reward.”

“What exactly is happening here tonight?”

She grabbed him by the collar and threw him onto the bed. “What do you think?”

“Is this the part where you say we’re playing Monopoly?”

Artemis crawled toward him across the bed, and Luke scrambled back.

“Luke, Luke. Why are you running from me?” She smiled. “You’ve already reached the end of the bed.”

“Because you’re looking at me like I’m dinner.”

She paused for a second. “Wrong analogy, Luke. I’m the meal here. Guess what I want you to do.”

He tried to get away, but Artemis grabbed him and slipped behind him.

“Hey, hey. Where do you think you’re going?”

Luke was pulled back against her. Before he knew it, he was sitting in the goddess’s lap, pinned in a hold way too tight to be casual.

“You’re way stronger than me.”

He couldn’t move. Not even a little.

Artemis started stroking his hair and rested her chin on Luke’s shoulder.

“Artemis, I don’t like where this is going.”

“I’m just petting you and enjoying your scent, Luke. Nothing else.” She smiled against his shoulder. “Unless you want something else to happen. Why don’t we talk? I bet that heart of yours needs to let something out.”

“You know, being wrapped up by you feels a lot like getting caught by a snake. Not comforting.”

Her finger gently traced the spot over his heart. “Such a cruel boy. I come here to comfort him, and this is how he treats me? Looks like I’ll have to teach him a lesson.”

“Right. And I’m guessing asking for help is off the table.”

“Relax. I heard this room is some kind of war bunker. Nobody’s breaking in.”

Suddenly, Luke felt a bite on his ear.

“Artemis...”

“Sorry. I’ve been waiting here for you for hours. I’m hungry, you know?” she said, her voice low and teasing.

“Yeah. I should leave.”

“My dear Luke, from now on, you and I are going to be inseparable.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll officially be your goddess.”

“My goddess?”

“I’m the one responsible for performing the official ceremony for you to enter the Order.”

Luke stopped struggling. That sounded official. Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, Luke stood up.

“Where are you going?”

Luke didn’t answer. He opened the door. Walked out. And kept walking before his common sense could lose the argument. He reached one of the magical elevators, went down, and crossed the hall where the party was still going strong. Music, voices, and conversations blended into one strange atmosphere.

Then he saw Samael sitting at the bar, reading a book.

“It’s not time for the masquerade yet, and I don’t sense our Order on you,” the demon said, turning a page without looking at Luke. “Artemis should have explained things by now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me my Advisor was Artemis?”

“Because she requested discretion.”

“And why does she have to do the ceremony? Why can’t you? You’re right here.”

Samael set the book down on the counter.

“Why does it matter whether it’s me or Artemis? Just go through the ceremony with her. You two already know each other quite well. Besides, you’ll get a Blessing out of it. The more intimacy you have with a god, the stronger the blessing. Between me and her, you’re closer to her.”

Luke stared at him. So she hadn’t been lying.

“I see. Just one thing.” Luke looked at him seriously. “You have no idea what she’s really like, do you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing...”

After confirming that she really was responsible for the ceremony, Luke returned to the elevators and went back up to the room. When he opened the door, Artemis was still there.

“No, Luke. He doesn’t know what I’m really like.”

Luke froze. “How the hell did you know what I said to him?”

“Because I can hear you through the necklace, genius.”

He dragged a hand down his face. “Artemis, I’m tired.”

For a moment, even she went still.

Luke lowered his hand. “Drained... and a little sad.”

She came up behind him, slid a hand across his chest, and hugged him. They stood in the middle of the room, her body pressed against his back. Luke was, unfortunately, very aware of her chest.

“My Luke...” Her voice softened for half a second. “I can feel your sadness.”

Then her smile returned. “So why not let your friend Artemis cheer you up a little?”

“Because you want to do that in a sexual way. You’re not being a friend. You’re using it as an excuse to pounce on me.”

“And since when is that a bad thing?”

“Since—”

She pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

“Luke, Luke. Don’t stand there drowning in guilt. Let go of that weight on your shoulders. From the moment you accepted the system, this is what your life became. You went looking for your mother and fell into a dangerous dungeon. You survived a tutorial that had swallowed people for eight years. You walked into a faction war, came back home, and still got dragged into another hellish event for a whole year.”

She calmly removed his tie.

“My Luke, you deserve a break. A real reward for everything you survived.” She hugged him tighter. “And that reward is me, Luke. For this entire night, you can do whatever you want with me.”

“I had a Catholic neighbor who used to say evil always tempts you with the good stuff. And you are that evil, Artemis. So I’m going to stand here and resist.”

“How cruel. Such a naughty boy.” She smiled, though her voice dropped a little. “I care about you a lot, you know? More than anyone else. Out of all those idiot gods, I’m the one who saw what my boy could become. I helped him with archery. I was there for every moment. I had so much faith in my boy that, the instant bidding was allowed, I placed the highest bet possible.”

She squeezed him closer.

“I stuck my neck out in the Order to make that offer while plenty of those other generals called me insane. But I trusted my boy. I didn’t do it for myself. I did it because I wanted to give him every possible advantage with the Sponsor Bonus. You were the only one in the entire event with a 20% bonus. That is how much I care about you. How much I trust you.”

“I’m very grateful for the 20%. It’ll be very useful.”

“And I was the first to offer to be your goddess.” Artemis held the pendant of his necklace. “Look, Luke, I’m not entirely the Artemis you interact with, but I am Artemis. The Artemis inside your necklace cares about you deeply. She blames herself for being nothing but a tiny voice, for thinking the only thing she can do is crack jokes or tease you to try to cheer you up. And even then, she does her best. Because she knows the boy she cares about is walking across thin ice, and every painful feeling is another crack under his feet.”

She went silent for a moment, still holding the pendant.

“She’s been with you through every major moment of your life since you acquired the system. She’s seen you laugh. She’s seen you cry. She was with you, staying silent through much of the tutorial, but worried when you fell into orc territory, when you fought the ants, when you had to kill Angelica, and when you nearly died fighting a Midnight Warden. She was there, always there, watching you.”

Artemis rested her chin on his shoulder.

“What she feels, I feel. She’s part of me, and I’m part of her. So why don’t we give her a good memory? You and me, one night under those sheets. You don’t need to worry about anything. Just lie back and stay still, and let this Artemis do all the work. What do you think, honey?”

Luke stayed silent for a while. For a moment, he didn’t answer. Because the worst part was that some of it had worked.

Not the seduction.

The care.

“That was... a pretty speech, Artemis. Manipulative as hell, obviously. But pretty.” He sighed. “And I still don’t know how to repay you.”

“They came straight from the heart, Luke. That’s how much she and I care about you.”

“That’s true.”

“And now, honey?” she whispered in his ear. “Can I start?”

Luke turned, looked at her, and sighed. Then, with one quick motion, he grabbed her cheek and pulled.

“Seriously? You think I don’t know you after all this time?”

“Ow, ow!” the goddess complained.

“That was low, Artemis. Playing the emotional angle like that.”

“Hey! I had to try! Do you have any idea how turned on I am right now?”

He let her go.

“So what’s this about me joining the Order? How does the ceremony work?”

The goddess rubbed her cheek. “You need to treat me more gently. I’m a sexy goddess, but I’m sensitive.”

“The sensitive goddess from ten seconds ago was trying to weaponize my feelings so she could sleep with me.”

“Hehe.”

“And she’s laughing.” Luke sighed. “Gods really are selfish.”

“But my selfishness benefits both of us.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Luke put a hand on her face when Artemis tried to kiss him. “I’m a man faithful to my girlfriend.”

“I just wanted to build beautiful memories of the two of us snuggled up together!”

“And what’s this deal with you being my goddess?”

Luke tried to dodge her again. Artemis was faster. A second later, he was back in her lap, trapped like this had been the plan all along.

“I’m much faster and much stronger, honey.” She sounded far too proud of that.

“Explanation,” Luke said.

“Fine. Here’s what you need to know: the only way for you to enter the Order is with authorization from a high-ranking god.”

Of course the chaotic goddess was also the official gatekeeper. Why wouldn’t the universe arrange that?

“Are you going to be my disciple? No. Better yet: my apostle, the highest position allowed for a believer.”

“I don’t want to enter your divine order. You definitely have insane followers.”

“Jealous? Don’t worry, I’m not allowed to have followers. You’d be my first and only,” she said, her voice dropping lower.

“Hey, can you... maybe let me go?”

“No. We’re staying glued together.” Artemis leaned her face close to his ear. “What do you think the test will be for me to authorize you into my Order?”

Luke didn’t like the way she said test. He liked even less the way she smiled after it.

“Hopefully something like throwing me into a volcano and making me swim through it to the other side.”

“No.” Her smile brushed his ear. “This test is going to be much more... hands-on.”

It’s been a while since the goddess herself actually showed up in the story. The last time was way back at the end of Volume 3, even if part of her has technically been hanging around Luke’s neck this whole time.

So I’ll be honest with you guys. There’s a Chapter 731.5 that continues their conversation and covers the full day Luke and Artemis spend together at the hotel. Artemis spends a good chunk of it trying just about everything she can think of to get what we all know she wants. Things get a little spicier too, and there’s some art to go with it.

And it doesn’t stop there. It’s actually two chapters, Part 1 and Part 2.

They’ll only be available at that other place. I’m not going to lie and tell you that skipping them and going straight to Chapter 732 changes nothing, because it does. There’ll be a little context in 732, so you won’t be lost. But if you like Artemis and want two chapters dedicated to her and Luke, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy them. There are three illustrations between the two chapters too.

I won’t drag this out. I mostly wanted to mention it because I really enjoy writing Artemis. She originally came from another story of mine, so I’ve always had a soft spot for her. Mostly just wanted to let the Artemis fans know, if she has any.

I’m terrible at these announcements. I should probably talk to you guys more often, but I do read your comments even when I don’t reply. For those of you who said you hated the Battle Royale at the start of the last volume, I put a lot of care into the beginning of this one. It’s something I’ve had planned for a long time.

And thanks for reading. Especially everyone who left a review over the last few days. I finished Volume 4 and only realized after posting the last chapter that I’d completely forgotten to say anything about reviews, even though I could really use the help. A few of you left one anyway, so thank you.

And if you’re sitting there wondering, “If I leave a review, will he actually read it?” Yes. I absolutely will. And as long as there aren’t too many rocks being thrown my way, I’ll probably enjoy reading it too.

That’s it. See you tomorrow.