Chapter 30: Deals with Devils

Delivery after delivery and snow after salty, gooey snow; Jesse and I fulfilled our roles. The stamina of this man had to be a world record. Even after an entire day of back-to-back iterations on and inside me, he was still outpacing me. That's the strange thing about libido, I found, was that each person's is so different and can't be reduced to something as simple as "are you in or are you out". I loved Levi, clearly, and even with her soul at stake as a primary motivator, no amount of urgency could speed up or slowdown that natural sexual drive deep within me. And I like everything, meanwhile Jesse had his personal preferences.

Once we were certain we'd filled every hole and well exceeded her quota, the three of us took a nap on Levi's bed. Snuggled together with my back up against the wall, I held Levi. Levi was sandwiched in the middle holding Jesse and the three of us breathed in slowly, then exhaled, our bodies expanding and contracting. It reminded me of one gigantic, unified lung.

'In, and out. In, and out.'

What a diverse and multifaceted series of words. So simple in its contrast, yet wholly effective in each applied instance. Appropriate and inappropriate in all the best possible ways.

We rested for the back half of the afternoon. I slid my way down and off the foot of her bed and just like the burglar of the louvre I tiptoed my way around her bedside until I'd stumbled upon her jeans clumped together on the floor. I crouched over the top of them and began to rummage through each pocket. The first, nothing. The second, nothing. Both front pockets were empty. The third... bingo. I felt it before I'd identified the prize visually.

"Mmmm. Ah, Kaaaabbboo. Unh."

'FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK me, how could I forget?'

My eyes jumped straight to Jesse's face, watching and waiting for him to lurch forward and chomp down on my face as if I were face to face with a giant bear or mountain lion. His eyebrows flexed at the auditory intrusion, but his eyes never opened. I waited until his eyelids and the bridge of his nose relaxed back into the rhythm of Levi's respiratory patterns.

I readjusted my grip on the card to its edges, careful not to accidentally rub my fingers against it again and extracted it from her jeans. After having secured the card, I snuck my way to the door and carefully exited into the hall. If the card's moaning wasn't enough to wake either of them up, the natural click of the door wouldn't be either. I still didn't want to call from the hall on the off chance that either of them woke up and came to find me and decided instead to step outside. Confirming that those few passing students around me were readily distracted by their own goings, I pulled out my phone and dialed their number.

"HEYA! Thanks a bunches for calling Sex Extract Co, this is your friendly neighborhood incubus, Riley. You calling to get some attention?!"

"Cut the shit, Riley," I replied, my voice indicating plenty of experience with their scheme.

"Ohhhh! Hello again, Jasper."

I don't know how to explain it, but I could feel Riley's smug grin stemming from the phone.

'How did he know my name? I'd never given it to him.'

I needed to maintain some form of control over the conversation, though, and couldn't let him know how lost in the hell sauce I actually was.

"Listen up. We have a few options here," I continued, "you can connect me with Kabo directly, arrange a meeting for me, or I can take your little card to the press and expose your guys' entire operation."

Silence.

I waited until the pause was just extended enough to warrant a check in of the phone's network connection. Just when I was about to speak again, Riley answered.

"Please hold."

Cued immediately with the playing of "Pony" by Ginuwine. My personal choice of song for them would've been The Killers "Human", but the gawdy soundtrack they chose was somehow both more relevant and more synergistic to their overarching brand.

I didn't understand the point of referring to sex like a rodeo, but here I was being asked if I was horny and to jump in the saddle to ride somebody to completion. The longer it played, the more I found myself suddenly getting into it. As retro and crude as it were, there was a strange flow to it that one had to admit was catchy.

"Kabo wants to know what it is you want," Riley's voice cleared out the music.

'Straight to the point then.'

"I want him to-"

"Them," Riley immediately cut me off.

A bit confused, I restarted my statement, " I want them to make Levi's current changes permanent."

"Hold."

Same song, just less enjoyable now. My heart was pounding and my chest was tight. How many mortals had the steel or the gall to dress down not just a demon, but an entire organization of them? The adrenaline coursing through me was sickly sweet.

"What are you gonna give me?"

The same voice I'd heard from behind the door replied, but one which was much more serious and way less performative that it had been when we first met.

"Pleased to formally speak with you again, Kabo," I replied, "my offer was that I wouldn't burn down your entire org."

"Hmmmm," came a grumble.

The utterance was far less contemplation than it was amusement.

"That's not a business deal. That's a shakedown. Besides, we're already burning."

Another pause broke up his response long enough for him to chuckle at his own joke.

"Do you really want the congregations of Hell following you and your... friends... for the remainder of your lives?" they responded.

I considered the insinuation. Following the logic down to the bare boners, let's say that I did manage to get the whole of humanity aware of the Demonic Sex Corporation. Humans were naturally horny creatures, and the succeeding pandemonium would be more chaotic and destructive for us than it would be unifying against a common threat. Were I somehow able to convince everyone into chastity, I'd still have made an enemy of an entire legion. There was also the matter of what constitutes a deal and how to ensure that Kabo wouldn't revoke it on a whim.

"I suppose not."

'When did I become so confident?'

Every line was delivered without hesitation and without repetition. My stutter was gone and hadn't even left me a message goodbye.

"Perhaps it would be more lucrative for everyone involved if we were to reach an outcome everyone would be happy with," I continued, "What is it you'd like?"

"A night with you," they answered, laughing into the phone.