Chapter 574: The God of Thunder Comes to Bail Someone Out

Chapter 574: Chapter 574: The God of Thunder Comes to Bail Someone Out

Golden locks streaming, clad in Iron Man armor glinting with cold light, a red cape dancing in the wind, standing before Deadpool was none other than the Prince of Asgard, the God of Thunder of Norse myth.

Looking at Deadpool, who was still sprawled on the bench as if dazed into stone, Thor arched a brow. "Hey, spandex guy..."

"Ptui! Go heil yourself!" Fury boiling over, Deadpool spat out the mouthful of soil and swung his fist straight at Thor.

"Hey, wait!" Thor hadn’t expected this sudden attack, but his evasion was far from slow, and Deadpool’s fist ultimately found nothing but air. "I want to talk!"

"Heh." Deadpool snickered, flipped his wrist, and drew his Zanpakuto straight out of his personal pocket dimension. "Even if you offered me your ass today, this still wouldn’t be over! And..."

His figure flickered, and he abruptly shifted behind Thor, cleaving the long blade in his hand downward from above.

CLANG.

The long blade met the hammer in a spray of sparks.

"I haven’t the slightest interest in the backsides of you Asgardians!" Deadpool glared at Thor with murder in his eyes, utterly unbothered that his pockmarked face had been exposed.

"And I could never like some man with a face like yours." By now Thor’s own temper had been struck alight, and he sneered, "Your face is uglier than a gnome that’s just eaten dung."

As far as Thor was concerned, gnomes were the most disgusting, hideous creatures in the Nine Realms. What’s more, these creatures liked to feed on dung, and no race held the slightest respect for them.

"Ho ho, that little gnome of yours must be your old lover, then?" Deadpool shot back. "Otherwise, why would you hate it so much?"

Even as he spoke, his long blade came chopping down again, this time at Thor’s left shoulder. The latter seemed to sense it, raising his hammer by instinct to block, but the edge in Deadpool’s hand abruptly changed course like a striking serpent, stabbing toward his abdomen.

CLANG.

Thor’s armor turned the long blade away, and it could push no further.

"Damn it!" Deadpool cursed, hopping back a step to dodge the hammer. "You’re such a damned turtle, going everywhere with your shell on."

The armor Thor wore was clearly no ordinary piece; with his current strength, Deadpool could not possibly punch through its defense.

"You can’t hurt me. So let’s talk," Thor said, his face utterly grave.

"Ohhh, there’s no way your uncle can pretend he didn’t hear that, little turtle." Deadpool snickered. "As if you could lay a finger on a single hair on Uncle’s body? No, clearly you cannot! At most you’d get to touch my armpit hair, and even then, only by licking it with your tongue!"

Damn it all!

Thor’s face flushed crimson, worked up into a fury by the disgusting talk yet again. Him, lick this bastard’s armpit hair? He might as well lick the toes of a Frost Giant, at least that would feel like licking a popsicle.

Shff.

But before Thor could curse out loud, Deadpool suddenly hurled his Zanpakuto like a javelin. It grazed past Thor’s left cheek and nailed itself into the ground behind him with a bang.

"You damned prisoner." Deadpool strolled right past Thor and planted himself beside his Zanpakuto. "Your sentence isn’t finished yet. Understand?"

On the ground that had stood empty, Loki’s figure gradually shimmered into view. The Zanpakuto was planted squarely between his legs, one more step forward just now, and he would probably have ended up missing a part.

"Loki..." Thor’s eyes turned complicated as he looked at his younger brother.

He had spent nearly a month searching for the two of them, his trail covering all of the United States. In the end, it was Nick Fury who pointed him in the right direction, and only then did he arrive at this farm with precision.

Of course.

Before coming here, he had already known everything Deadpool had done to his brother, and Thor had been surprised to find that his brother actually seemed cut out for this line of work.

So Thor showed no hatred toward Deadpool now; if anything, he felt they really could talk this over.

"How did you find me?" Loki paid his blockhead of an older brother no mind at all, staring at Deadpool in bewilderment.

"You really think your little trickery is so clever, pal?" Deadpool’s face was full of contempt as he snorted. "Forgive my bluntness, but only an idiot could miss it."

Thor froze, and his hand went to his nose by reflex. He had the feeling Deadpool was insulting him, because he genuinely hadn’t seen through Loki’s invisibility just now. But Thor would never admit it, the Prince of Asgard could not possibly be an idiot.

"It pains me to inform you, Lolo," Deadpool said, once more drawing a shirt out of his personal pocket to pull over himself, then, after a moment’s thought, producing a pair of sunglasses as well, "your community service just got extended. Now you’ll need to work ninety-seven more before you’re released!"

"Damn it, stop calling me by these disgusting names!" Loki didn’t seem to care about the extension of his labor sentence, but it was the nickname "Lolo" that cracked his composure.

"You should get back to work now, pal." Deadpool, naturally, cared nothing for his complaints, and spread his hands. "Unless you’d like millet porridge for dinner again."

"Crap. Crappy millet porridge!"

Loki grumbled under his breath and was turning to leave when his brother called him back. "Hold on. I’m taking you home to Asgard!"

"You want another round?" Deadpool snorted coldly. "No one takes my prisoner from in front of me. No one!"

"Eight hundred million dollars. I’ll pay to bail him out." Thor spoke with remarkable composure. It was Black Widow who had taught him this, the red-haired S.H.I.E.L.D. agent seemed to understand this spandex-loving man very well, and had handed him a money-offensive plan.

"Eight hundred million?" Deadpool’s expression froze, and he arched a brow.

"Heh. So I’m only worth eight hundred million?" A cold laugh escaped Loki’s lips, his face full of disdain. "Is a member of the Asgardian royal house really so cheap?"

"Loki?" Thor stared at his brother, utterly baffled. He felt like this guy’s brain must have flooded. Whose side are you even on, you bastard?! I’m trying to bail you out here, hey!

"This is a matter of my dignity, dear brother." Loki spread his hands. "If someone offered you Mjolnir in exchange for a single gnome, would you take the deal?"

A gnome?! Seriously?!

Thor was finding this rather difficult now. He didn’t have a single coin of Earth currency on him, that eight hundred million had come from selling off his own bracelet. But from the look of it, eight hundred million seemed to be nowhere near enough to buy his brother back.

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