How to Bring Common Sense to Xianxia World

Chapter 118: Fourth Mama

— Meanwhile – Underworld —

Wei Chen was staying the night in the underworld after a quick trip to the mortal world to bring Max with him. It was fortunate that the hotel here did not have any rules against bringing pets.

At the moment, Max was eating its usual jumbo sized barbecue drumstick, which Wei Chen had grilled for it in the corner of the room.

This hotel was part of the agent benefits, and surprisingly, its decoration and room arrangement closely resembled the modern world where Wei Chen came from.

In fact, in the underworld, he felt more like he was living in the modern age rather than in a world of Xianxia cultivation. Many things here were far too similar to the modern world. The resemblance was so strong that he suspected the Lord of Death might have taken a look at the modern world he came from and borrowed many solutions for managing this place.

The bureaucracy, the red tape, and the day to day operations were far too similar to be dismissed as mere coincidence. He had even seen several printers and desktop PCs in the office building where the Lord of Death worked.

As for the courier services, they resembled those working at FedEx far too closely. He had even spotted several courier service brands on his way to the hotel. Perhaps this place was also open to capitalism.

He could only hope that the healthcare system would not be as terrible as the one from where he came.

Wei Chen looked out into the underworld’s night. Yes, the underworld had a day and night cycle, just like the mortal world. During the day, instead of sunlight, there was a powerful glare from an artificial sun that looked just like the sun on Earth, but it emitted underworld qi. At night, the light lowered from that powerful glare into a soft red glow, similar to Earth’s moonlight, but tinged with a red hue.

Looking out the window at this familiar scene made Wei Chen feel nostalgic. If the city below had cars, along with the ambient noise of speeding traffic and the sound of police sirens in the distance, he might have thought that he had already returned to his previous world.

In this room, there was even a TV that looked suspiciously close to those from the modern age. However, despite all the modern flair, the programs on the TV were completely different.

From what Wei Chen had observed in his short time here, there were very limited entertainment programs on the TV. Eighty percent of the broadcast time consisted of news related to the underworld and various official notifications. The remaining twenty percent were snippets of advertisements for various products in the underworld.

Yes, there were products such as artifacts that helped with navigating the underworld. It was good to know that he was not the only one who got lost in this maze-like place.

There were also advertisements for various pills, restaurants, and even large inns located in tourist spots. Yes, this place. The underworld actually had tourist spots for the people living here. It was the same as tourist destinations meant for overworked salarymen.

Watching the TV play an advertisement for an onsen set in an artificial landscape that looked like a carbon copy of a famous onsen retreat in Japan made Wei Chen think that maybe the Lord of Death was more like an overworked salaryman uncle than he had initially imagined. After all, who else would have the power to reshape the underworld to this extent?

Deciding that it was time for bed, he lay down on the soft mattress, but then…

CHOMP CHOMP GULP SMACK GOBBLE CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CRUNCH! CHOMP GULP GOBBLE!

The sound of Max voraciously chewing and munching on the mega drumstick, which was the size of a cow’s leg, immediately bothered him. It completely prevented him from falling asleep.

“Hey, Max, that leg was meant to last for three days, you know. Do you not think eating the entire leg of an Iron Beak Fierce Condor is a bit too much? It is not easy to season and grill an entire leg like that,” Wei Chen complained.

“Awooo! Aaaa! Awooo! Woo wooooo!” I do not care! You are my cook! If I finish it, you need to offer me a new offering! Max responded to Wei Chen, no different from a Siberian husky throwing a dramatic tantrum.

CHOMP CHOMP GULP SMACK GOBBLE CHOMP GOBBLE!

“Hey! Keep it down, will you? I am trying to sleep here!” Wei Chen complained again.

“Awooo! Aaaa! Awooo! Woo wooooo! Awoooooo! Awoooooooo! Woof!” Okay, cook! I will finish it quickly. Tomorrow, do not forget my offering! I want your promise of bratwurst and weisswurst!

Max communicated with his personal cook before trying to finish the entire leg as quickly as possible so his cook could get some rest. Hm… this Wolf King was actually very kind.

CHOMP CHOMP GULP SMACK GOBBLE CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CRUNCH! CHOMP GULP GOBBLE! CHOMP CHOMP GULP SMACK GOBBLE CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CRUNCH! CHOMP GULP GOBBLE! CHOMP CHOMP…..

“God… I now understand the pain of those folks who raise huskies,” Wei Chen muttered under his breath before forcing himself to sleep, enduring Max’s intense mukbang noises in the background.

— Morning – Youqi Office —

In the corridor in front of Youqi’s office, Wei Chen was waiting for Youqi to clock in. Because of Max’s intense mukbang noises the previous night, he had been unable to sleep until one in the morning. Afraid that he might miss his appointment with Zhang Niu in the morning, he decided not to sleep at all.

As for using the time to cultivate, that was out of the question. The last time he cultivated, he ended up owing that money grubbing girl thirty million spirit stones. This time, he did not dare to try again. After all, the owner of this place was his boss.

If he caused a commotion, he could kiss his probation period goodbye.

Wei Chen looked at Max, who was still munching on the bone and licking it as if it were ice cream. He felt that this dog was far too gluttonous. It had actually eaten the entire jumbo barbecue drumstick, one that was the size of a cow’s leg, all by itself.

“Maybe I will go bankrupt because of this dog’s appetite,” Wei Chen muttered jokingly to himself.

Then the noises from Max’s munching and licking grew quieter. It decided to save the bone for later, afraid that the taste of the seasoning and the bits of meat stuck to it would disappear too soon. After all, Max still had not received its new offering.

As the noise lowered, Wei Chen began to hear sounds coming from inside Youqi’s office. It was the sound of someone furiously typing on a keyboard.

Huh? Had Ms. Youqi already clocked in? Wei Chen thought to himself.

“Wait here, boy. Let me check inside for a bit,” Wei Chen said to Max.

“Woof,” Max barked in short reply before continuing to lick the bone. It could not stop itself for long before indulging again in the taste of the finely seasoned bone.

Wei Chen then stood up and opened the door.

“Hello, Ms. Youqi,” Wei Chen greeted the supposed Ms. Youqi, who was typing furiously inside the room.

The sound of typing suddenly stopped. What he saw instead was an adorable black haired girl who looked to be around ten years old, staring at him with alarm.

She was stunned, as if she had not expected anyone to enter the room at this time.

Suddenly, she jumped up from the chair, flipped in midair, and attempted to land a kick straight at Wei Chen’s face.

Thud!

Wei Chen quickly deflected the attack, but he immediately realized that his wrist had absorbed an alarming amount of power from the kick. This little girl was at the Nascent Soul realm.

Seeing that her kick was ineffective, the girl agilely flipped again in midair and delivered another side kick aimed at Wei Chen’s head. However, with the Samsara Sovereign’s Scripture enhancing his comprehension and discernment, Wei Chen clearly read her next move.

He effortlessly avoided it by tilting his head, then slapped her ankle aside to deflect the kick. With a few swift movements aimed at her dantian, he sealed her cultivation. He then grabbed her by the collar and lifted her up, hanging her in the air while looking at her as if she were an unruly cat.

“Ahhhhh! Unseal me! Unseal me now, you bad, bad man!” the girl shouted, throwing a tantrum as she kicked and punched with her short arms and legs, trying to hit Wei Chen’s face.

“Hey! You were the one who tried to hit me first!” Wei Chen protested, easily avoiding her short kicks by extending his arm so her legs could not reach him.

“Ahhhh! Bad man! Help! Mama! Papa!” the girl shouted. Her voice echoed through the office, but unfortunately, it was too early in the morning and no one else was around.

“Yeah! Call your parents over here. I want to know who they are and how they raised you. Didn’t they teach you manners, like not kicking people the first time you meet them?” Wei Chen scolded her while still holding her like a cat.

“If you will not unseal me, then at least put me down! I am not a cat!” the girl protested as she wildly kicked and punched.

“Put you down and let you run away? No way! I will hold you here until Ms. Youqi arrives and let her deal with you,” Wei Chen said, trying to scare her.

“No! Not Fourth Mama! Not Fourth Mama, you bad man! She will scold me and hit my butt!” the girl cried, half shouting and half pleading.

“Huh? Fourth Mama?” Wei Chen repeated. At that moment, he felt a presence behind him. He slowly turned around.