Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever
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SUMMARY
Reborn as the sarcastic, black-haired twin of Draco Malfoy, Orion had a simple plan: ignore the pureblood politics, torment his father with logic, and push magic to its absolute breaking point.
When a blue screen popped up on his eleventh birthday, he thought he’d hit the jackpot. A System? In a magical world? It was the ultimate cheat code.
At least, until it spoke.
Enter Sparkle: a sentient, sarcastic, and aggressively unhelpful “System” who refuses to give him quests, stats, or a manual. Instead, she demands he “live his life” and stumble blindly into obscure conditions to unlock rewards ranging from useless Gobstones to legendary Phoenix Tears.
Now, Orion must navigate Hogwarts with a brother who has more hair gel than brain cells and a voice in his head that treats his life like a reality TV show. He doesn't want to be a hero; he just wants to figure out if setting a mountain troll on fire counts as an achievement.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any characters in this fanfic, except for the idea of this fanfic story. I have no intention of monetizing this story, nor any intention of enforcing a copyright infringement.
6 Latest Chapters [ Updated a day ago ]
- Chapter 310: The Wearable Focus and The Incomplete Sentence
- Chapter 309: The Handover to Hell and The Retirement Plan
- Chapter 308: The Minister’s Slush Fund and The Dragon of the Hebrides
- Chapter 307: The Coup of the Toad and The Line Crossed
- Chapter 306: The Deductions of an Inquisitor
- Chapter 305: The House Rules of Russian Roulette
Chapter List
- Chapter 251: The Final Preparations and The Walk with Snape
- Chapter 252: The Center Aisle and The Ignition of War
- Chapter 253: The Great Hall Aquatic Assault and The Old Codger’s Shield
- Chapter 254: The Post-Battle Debrief and The Bold Confession
- Chapter 255: The Motivation and The Forewarned Faculty
- Chapter 256: The Eavesdropping Headmaster and The Chain of Command
- Chapter 257: The Rewards of Misery and Stress
- Chapter 258: The Spidey Sense and The Unwanted Web-Shooting
- Chapter 259: The First Detention and The Essay Assignment
- Chapter 260: The Marking Misery and The Tavern Brawl
- Chapter 261: The Weight of the Past and The Echo of Warning
- Chapter 262: The Transfer of Punishment and The Architect of Chaos
- Chapter 263: The Subterranean Hoard and The Mechanics of Requirement
- Chapter 264: The Limits of Perception and The Approaching Holiday
- Chapter 265: The First Visit and The Hogs Head Rendezvous
- Chapter 266: The Hogs Head and The Legacy of Pranks
- Chapter 267: The Missing Sidekicks and The Hormonal Phase
- Chapter 268: The Phantom Chill and The Universal Ping
- Chapter 269: The Kiss Interrupted and The Golden Arrival
- Chapter 270: The Failure of Form and The Remaining Stragglers
- Chapter 271: The Synchronized Attack and The Request for Guidance
- Chapter 272: The Illusion of Joy and The Sound of Thunder
- Chapter 273: The Dark Mark and The Winged Guardian
- Chapter 274: The Fallen Aurors and The Early Departure
- Chapter 275: The Early Departure and The Think Tank
- Chapter 276: The Whiteboard Theories and The Unknown Vigilante
- Chapter 277: The Pink Connection and The Plan for the Holidays
- Chapter 278: The Morning Evacuation and The Gryffindor’s Praise
- Chapter 279: The Platform Return and The Garden Reunion
- Chapter 280: The Definition of a Creature and The First Command
- Chapter 281: The Toad’s Agenda and The Dementor’s Leash
- Chapter 282: The Toad’s Endgame and The Approaching Deadline
- Chapter 283: The Collar of Questionable Intent and The Godmother Protocol
- Chapter 284: The Metaphysics of Growth and The Second Maturation
- Chapter 285: Multi-Threading and The Family Dinner
- Chapter 286: The Head of the Table and The Potter Gambit
- Chapter 287: Passive Experience and The Gringotts Blueprint
- Chapter 288: The Christmas Compass and The Unspoken Name
- Chapter 289: The Mental Tether and The Unwitting Spy
- Chapter 290: The Steaming Basin and The Missing Catalyst
- Chapter 291: The Phantom in the Manor and The Scaled-Up Joyride
- Chapter 292: The Excursion and The Lesson of Stone
- Chapter 293: The Relocated Portal and The Firebolt Meltdown
- Chapter 294: The Cold Welcome and The Quantum Leap
- Chapter 295: The Maternal Co-Conspirator and The Ancient Grimoire
- Chapter 296: The Sentience of Power and The Three Dialects
- Chapter 297: The Messenger Swan and The Cost of Frustration
- Chapter 298: The Forest Hermit and The Traitor’s Paranoia
- Chapter 299: The Bedroom Blueprint and The Dragon’s Leash
- Chapter 300: Multi-Core Pyrotechnics and The Hostile Heirloom
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