A Person with Morals gets Transported to Another World [LitRPG] [Satire]

After collecting my reward, I returned to Newmill and Penrin. They had collected a large assortment of food and were sitting at a table while eating. They did not notice my approach as they were deep into their conversation, so I inadvertently ended up eavesdropping on them.

Penrin said, “He’s going to pick something stupid as a prize. I guarantee it.” She slurped up some fried noodles with a pair of chopsticks.

“Have some faith in him. He’s smarter than he looks,” Newmill said. He was essentially saying I looked dumb. At least I didn’t eat pizza with a knife and fork like he was doing.

I took the empty seat at the table and was finally noticed.

They both turned to me and eagerly stared. “Well? What did you get?” they asked.

I placed the Elixir of Mind and the miniature hot-air-balloon on the table. The two of them looked at the objects and then back at me.

Penrin said, “We’re not asking what you got from the local toy shop. What reward did you get from the school’s vault? I heard there are incredible treasures there that almost seem like they shouldn’t exist.”

“Like the Hexagonal Wand which lets you summon bees,” said Newmill. “Or the Hammer of Headaches that gives people headaches when you hit them in the head with the hammer.”

I palmed the nape of my neck and rubbed it. “I’m sorry to say, but this is what I got.” I gestured to the items on the table.

Penrin interlocked her fingers and placed her nose into her hands. “It must be that all the good items have already been taken. Otherwise, you would have picked something like Chard’s Charred Cards. It’s a legendary pack of burnt cards that have wondrous magical effects. What a pity it was already taken by someone else.”

I didn’t know whether to say it or not, but I thought it better said than not. “I saw the pack, but I passed it up.”

Penrin’s hands slammed onto the table. “You passed it up? Are you crazy? One of the cards gives you the ability to fly!”

I pursed my lips and sucked in air. “Yeah, but you can only pick one card a year. If I drew a useless card, I would regret it for a full year. I’m not the type to take risky gambles like that.”

“Since when?” Newmill and Penrin said simultaneously.

I added, “Plus, this balloon allows me to fly too.”

Penrin looked incredulous. She squinted her eyes at me. “Really?”

I glanced away and admitted, “Well, it can only fly a metre off the ground.”

Penrin sunk her head. Newmill asked, “Can that even be considered flying? I’ve seen balloons at birthday parties fly higher.”

I had to admit he was right that it was unimpressive. Though, I was optimistic about the balloon considering it improved with my Mind. Perhaps when I drank the Mind elixir, I could fly much higher and faster.

“Penrin! It’s time to leave, little lady.” I heard a familiar voice call for Penrin. It was Frome, her mother. When she saw that I and Newmill were with her daughter, she became slightly upset.

“I have to go,” Penrin said. “I’ll see you two later. Maybe we can study for the upcoming examination together.” She collected her belongings and left to her mother. She got told off for associating with us.

“I should be leaving too, Yarm. Today was a lot of fun.” Newmill finished his last bite of food. “We’ll meet again soon, won’t we?”

I waved him off and I was left with a large assortment of food containers at the table. I was feeling peckish, so I opened the containers only to find them all empty. They hadn’t left anything for me. And what was worse, was that they expected me to clean up after them. I did so.

Now, alone at an empty table, there was one thing left for me to do: fill my stomach with the elixir.

Some part of me worried about what changes might occur if I were to gain such a large increase in Mind. What came over me was visions of my brain bursting from being unable to contain such raw smartness. I didn’t let the paranoia take hold.

If I could extrapolate Body advancement to Mind, the benefits I had already gained would increase by over 100%. With this potion, I would receive more than all the Mind points I had gotten so far, even though the numeric increase was only 50%.

I popped the cork off the bottle and downed the Elixir of Mind. The opaque yellow liquid tasted citrusy, but not like any fruit that I had tasted. It was smooth and easy to gulp down. Before I knew it, the glass bottle was empty, and the last drop of liquid had entered me.

I felt somewhat refreshed, until a popup appeared.

[+13 Mind]

A wave of dread crashed against me. At the pace I was going, I would never accomplish any of the goals I had in mind. In fact, they may not have been achievable in the first place.

Then a wave of confidence hit me. The journey towards world goodness would be tough but worth doing. I realised I couldn’t take things as leisurely as I was doing. I needed to improve myself and my plans. Merely levelling myself up wasn’t enough. Hoping the System would give me the tools I needed wasn’t enough.

I had to do more and put the tools I already had to good use.

I first checked my status.

[Name: Yarm] [Age: 45] [Level: 20]

[HP: 110] [MP: 60] [XP: -16,728] [LP:0] [GP: 1410]

[Body: 1] [Mind: 39 (26)] [Soul: 4]

[Titles: Villain, Lockpicker, Charmer, Explorer, Iron Will] [Skills: Cleanse, Spare Monster, Repair] [Items: Soundless Pick, Wall Compass, Lesser Mana Potion, 3 Acupuncture Darts, Sturdy Needles, Old Man Costume, Holy Water Vial, Demonic Horn, Succubus’ Chocolate Breastmilk] [Recipes: Tranquiliser] [Boosts: XP Boost (2 days left), Mind Boost (Permanent)] [Properties: Eastern Forest Hidden Dungeon, Mind Balloon] [Cosmetics: Silhouette]

That didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. The first idea of my newly improved mind was a dud.

So, onto the next agenda I went.

I navigated through the school’s complex hallways to reach the domain of the Crafting Club. It was easier to reach than most places since the crowds avoided it.

I walked down the empty hallway, looking for the exact classroom I had met Rye, the girl who crafted my old man disguise.

There weren’t any signs pointing to the place, but I did see rectangular markings of where signs should have been. I suspected the club stole the signs and used them as crafting materials. The group was ravenous when it came to finding good materials.

While I walked, a cloth was placed over my mouth and I fell unconscious.

I awoke to see myself tied to a chair in the Crafting Club. Rye, the cross-eyed girl was probably looking at me.

“Good evening,” she said.

I struggled vainly against my bindings and said, “Why did you tie me up again? Didn’t I already agree to your demands? Do we need to go through this whole initiation process once more?”

She wagged both her index fingers from side to side. “I’ll explain all that when the time is nigh.”

I stared at her blankly. Without any emotion I said, “And is the time nigh right now?”

She snapped her fingers. “Precisely.” She started pacing in circles. “You see, the Crafting Club has been kidnapping people to help find better crafting components. We’ve captured hundreds of students and restrained them just like you.”

“I see.” The other students around the room didn’t spare me a glance, as they were working on their own projects.

Rye tapped her fingers together rhythmically. “After all these abductions, we’ve learned one thing: kidnapping people is very fun.”

“It’s also very illegal,” I said.

“The joy of capturing someone and restraining them so they can’t move is unmatched.” She let out a deep exhale.

It seemed that the members of the Crafting Club had all awakened a perverse desire within themselves. “I would recommend kidnapping willing subjects,” I said.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Rye twirled around. “Anyhow, have you brought us anything special?”

I nodded. “The reason I came here is because I want you to test this Holy Water Vial. Can you tell me if it’s simply normal water or if it has been tampered with in some way?”

Rye searched through my belongings and pulled out the vial. She was clearly disappointed. “I suppose we can run some tests. Give us a few weeks and we’ll find out everything you want to know about it.” She chucked the vial into a pile of unattended objects with no delicacy whatsoever.

Seeing her excited eyes begging for more, I told her, “I have a Demonic Horn too.”

Upon the words leaving my lips, everyone in the Crafting Club stopped what they were doing and looked over. Rye’s jaw dropped. It seemed she did not believe me because she immediately went through my bag to find the horn. It didn’t take long for her to get to it.

She grasped the black horn and raised it high for everyone in the club to see. They all looked at it in amazement. One of the members even had trouble keeping themselves standing. As if it was a fictitious item come to reality, everyone stared in deep awe. Their eyes couldn’t get enough.

Rye said, “How did you get this?” She spoke to me with her eyes still glued to the horn.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She repeated, “I mean, how did you get this? It is notoriously difficult to get materials from demons as their bodies turn to ash when they die. An item like this is a crafter’s dream. Just how did you get this?”

I felt it was not wise to show my hand in this situation, so I said, “It’s a secret.” If they pressed me further, I had no obligation to reveal anything.

Rye laughed and told me that I did not need to explain myself. “Demonic materials are highly sought after and crazy valuable. Especially ones of this quality. I’m glad you brought this to us. Most of us have never had a chance to work with anything demonic.”

Nods and grunts of approval came from the bystanders.

I said, “I have another demonic item if you want to take a look.”

The audience gasped. Rye quickly said, “Yes! I would love to.” She searched through my bag and pulled out the container of chocolate milk. She held it in the air for all to see.

“It’s a Succubus’ Chocolate Breastmilk,” I explained.

The amazement that Rye had suddenly turned to disgust. She looked at me with revulsion and asked, “How did you get this?”

“Huh?”

“Just what did you do to get this?” she asked.

I didn’t do anything to get it, but I immediately realised where Rye’s disgust came from. She thought that I had played a hand in ‘collecting’ this item. Not wanting to say more, I said, “It’s a secret.”

That only seemed to further cement Rye’s notion of the item’s origins.