Will of chaos

Hours after I woke up, I was on one of the branches of the Universal Tree. Only Urd was beside me while the Twins were busy altering the Infernal Incubator that Paradox had given me.

“What are you going to do now?” (Urd)

“Train. My power hasn’t increased that much; what changed was the quality. I feel like my entire existence has been refined, and my power along with it.” (me)

“How are you going to train?” (Urd)

“How else? By fighting.” (me)

“Fighting you and the Twins will suffice. They possess knowledge, but your Concept is more suited for general-level combat.” (me)

“You don’t feel anything anymore, Paradox for example?” (Urd)

“No…” (me)

“How can I say this? I feel something connecting to me. I know it’s Paradox, but I don’t know where it is or how long it will take to awaken.” (Me)

“You need to find out, I’m afraid something might happen, I don’t trust her, I don’t understand her intentions or the way she did things.” (Urd)

“I chose to believe her, so forget about it, anyway it’s too late to do anything about her.” (Me)

“You are also connected to me, linked by your Paths that are part of my Divine Kingdom.” (Me)

“Honestly, we didn’t feel much difference, just a burst of your Concept that flowed through us a little before you woke up.” (Urd)

“I understand…” (Me)

“(That explains why they were waiting for me when I woke up…)” (Me)

“Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but you need to do something.” (Tarzor)

“…” (me)

———————-

Pov Samara:

I was getting closer and closer to the Temple of Urd, dragging my chains. Behind me were dozens of eggs surrounded by blue flames the size of mountains.

I wanted to give Master Zenos a gift. I could feel his power hours ago; it was different from what it was before, completely changed form, and very similar to the power of the Concepts that the oldest Avatars develop.

Something happened to him, I know it, and I need to prove my worth. I need to show myself necessary and worthy of continuing by his side. I need him to trust me, to be grateful for my presence.

Only then will I gain more authority, power, and a little freedom. I don’t mind being his eternal slave, but I won’t complain if he allows me to get some toys… I mean subordinates, especially if he allows me to create them by my own means.

“Samara, what did you do?” (Zenos)

“My lord, I come to congratulate you on your rise in strength and bring gifts: 37 Anomalous Eggs marked with my power. As soon as they hatch, they will be your loyal servants.” (me)

“Why are they with the Phoenix Flames?” (Zenos)

“They are your followers. I found the place where your flames will form a lake of blue magma, and I thought it would be best to refine these creatures further.” (me)

I could feel him quickly reviewing my memories, but I have nothing to hide. Everything I do is thinking of him; that’s enough for things to be better for me. Serving him is too easy, almost relaxing compared to my time with Callidora.

“Do what you want with them, but don’t destroy their Souls.” (Zenos)

“Thank you, sir…” (me)

I release the chains as my back opens, sucking all the eggs into my body, a condensed Infernal lair like a soul, one of the gifts from my new master when granting me such a body.

I look at him and notice his changes; his eyes are purple and gold as before, his scales are smaller than before, barely standing out against his dark skin, his red hair seems almost ethereal. There isn’t much difference in his appearance.

It was his presence that changed the most; his presence became strange and shapeless, impossible to see through, as if in constant transformation. His aura almost seems like a being of its own around him.

I can also feel in his shadow the changes in Tarzor; it seems that serpent benefited more than I did, but that doesn’t matter, my turn will come.

———————-

Pov Zenos:

After dealing with Samara, I returned to Tarzor, but this time I went to look for someone who was on a certain planet where the night was eternal. She was in a castle, sitting on her throne, just as I had seen her many times in the past.

“Did you come because of your other mother?” (Mother)

“I don’t like to refer to her that way, but… yes, I came because of her.” (Me)

“You are over 50 years old mentally and have seen universal secrets. You are also a Primordial Deity who created a living universe where you are being worshipped even as we speak.” (Mother)

“I saw you devour Gods, plot against universal calamities, and oppose Entities.” (Mother)

“How can a mortal Soul with only some mutation be enough to confuse you enough to bring you to me for advice?” (Mother)

“…” (me)

I had nothing to answer. It was as she said, it should be something simple. There’s nothing important about that Soul. The woman who maintains her consciousness and possesses a somewhat interesting Will shouldn’t be enough to deserve a second glance.

“(Unfortunately, some things aren’t about power…)” (me)

My power is useless. My real problem isn’t that woman’s Soul; my problem is my decision of what to do with it, what to do with the emotional burden I carry from my childhood in a previous life?

“I don’t know what to do…” (me)

“Tell me everything.” (Mother)

I wave my hand, letting a thread of memories pass towards her. In it is everything I know about Hana, as well as what I thought and felt seeing all that.

For a Goddess like her, it was information absorbed instantly. She frowned, and her Aura fluctuated slightly with anger.

“Do you want to kill her?” (Mother)

“She’s already dead…” (Me)

“You know what I meant, you want to destroy her soul.” (Mother)

“Callidora did something to her, she didn’t even try to hide it.” (Me)

“Besides, she’s a cruel, arrogant, and bad-tempered woman who committed almost every possible worst act in a world without magic.” (Me)

“All of this is nonsense. Both you and I have done worse things, not to mention that Callidora’s intervention is optional if you’re right.” (Mother)

“Don’t try to make plausible excuses for what you want to do.” (Mother)

“…” (Me)

Her words stunned me for a brief moment. I hadn’t expected something like that. I was really trying to justify my decision; that alone was a sign that I thought I was doing something wrong. It’s been a long time since I needed to justify myself to others.

“She abandoned me out of cowardice. I can forgive something like that. If she had never been interested in me, I would have let it go anyway. I could even have released her soul for reincarnation!” (Me)

“But what she did was worse. She knew the conditions of the orphanage. She knew every time I was sent back. She knew when I was sent away upon reaching adulthood!” (Me)

“She could have come to me many times! There were too many opportunities for that!!” (Me)

“She had over 40 years to come to me!!!!” (Me)

“Would you have listened to her if she had shown up?” (Mother)

“In my childhood, I would have hugged her in tears if she had appeared, after my teenage years I would have ignored her, but that’s not the point, I’m saying she didn’t even try!!” (Me)

“She says she loved me and shows her distorted demonstrations of love, but she didn’t even have the courage to be in my presence!!!” (Me)

I was rightfully furious, her life didn’t matter to her, the question was what should I do with her and all this anger inside me?

“You were moved by her story, just as you said, she was cowardly and her love was distorted, but still you discovered that she loved you until her last moments.” (Mother)

“That doesn’t change anything!!!!” (Me)

“That changes everything, and you know it, or you wouldn’t be trying to create arguments to convince yourself.” (Mother)

“You hated her even before you met her, and to make matters worse, you didn’t like her story.” (Mother)

“…” (Me)

I couldn’t deny her words; they were like arrows in my chest, but they illuminated what I was feeling, but that didn’t change anything.

“I wanted to hate her, I wanted to punish her and tell her that I’m that baby she abandoned!” (Me)

“I wanted to see her when she revealed that I had become a God, to look her in the face when she discovered how far above the entire universe I am.” (Me)

“But now that I have the opportunity, it would be like handing a blanket to someone freezing in the streets without a home to shelter in. If everything she showed me is true, she would smile with happiness that I am in such a high place, full of pride.” (Me)

There’s nothing I can do to make up for the things she did or didn’t do in the past.

My life was a daily struggle; in my last years, even staying awake for another second was a difficult battle, but it was all in vain. I died alone in a hospital bed.

She was so close to me, and yet she couldn’t do anything but hide behind an excuse more convenient for her.

“I don’t want to accept her, I don’t want to conform to her existence, I can’t stand it…!” (Me)

“You already know what to do, don’t you?” (Mother)

“You just don’t want to accept this decision.” (Mother)

“…” (Me)