Chapter 600 - 312: Nothing to Do With Me
Chapter 600: Chapter 312: Nothing to Do With Me
Zhang Huai laughed. "Once he can run, he’ll be following you around all day begging for food. You’ll have a real headache then."
Qingmu laughed. "What’s there for me to have a headache about? Doesn’t he have an aunt who’s a great cook? Hulu will definitely be close to his aunt in the future, eating at her house every day."
He looked at his younger sister, his heart filled with warmth. ’So many years have passed in a flash,’ he thought. ’And now my little sister is about to have a baby, too.’
Around noon, it started to snow heavily again. The swirling flakes didn’t dampen anyone’s spirits; instead, they made everyone even more cheerful, as if they now had the perfect excuse to stay cooped up at home, eating, drinking, and joking around.
Zhang Yang came running home from his studies with a head full of snowflakes. Seeing how lively the house was and then hearing that Juhua was pregnant, he was so overjoyed he shouted, "Finally, someone will call me ’little uncle’! I’m telling you, you guys have come up with plenty of nicknames, but the formal name has to be chosen by me. Don’t worry, even if I have to read every book there is, I’ll find a great name for my nephew!"
Zhang Huai shot him a look. "Can’t I read books myself? Why would I need you to do it? Just think of one and save it for your own kid."
Qingmu also laughed. "We know how to read a few characters, at least. If we have a son and let someone else name him, what was the point of learning to read? Besides, if we can’t do it, there’s still Grandpa. So you’d better just save yourself the trouble."
Zheng Changhe and Zhang Dashuan glanced at each other and shook their heads in unison, saying they were too old, and that such a mentally taxing task as thinking of a name was better left to the younger generation.
Hearing this, Liu Yunlan and Juhua burst out laughing together.
Zhang Yang, however, grumbled indignantly about how he was the baby’s uncle, not some outsider.
Juhua then laughed and said, "Why don’t you find a few, and if they’re better than what we come up with, we’ll use your name. We’ll call it ’hiring the best candidate’."
Zhang Yang was delighted, promising repeatedly that he would definitely find some absolutely brilliant names.
Juhua held back a laugh, thinking, ’It’s just a name, what’s so ’brilliant’ about it!’ Sure enough, Huai Zi said, "You should just give up now. Our kid is just going to be a farmer’s child, what do they need such a brilliant name for?"
Zhang Yang waved his hand dismissively. "Weren’t you the ones who said it? As long as the name has the right feel, it’ll be pleasant to say. It’s the same for a formal name. As long as it fits, it can be considered ’brilliant’. I’m not going to pick some obscure, literary words just to sound refined and elegant."
Qingmu chuckled. "That sounds a little interesting. Let’s see what you can come up with."
Zhang Yang said, "Don’t worry, it’ll be better than anything you can think of."
The group chatted and laughed endlessly. The main hall was filled with a roar of activity, the floor littered with sunflower seed shells. Whenever the conversation turned to the Zhang family’s first grandson, Zhang Dashuan’s face would glow, and he would begin to pontificate loudly.
Juhua watched the high-spirited group and couldn’t help but say to them, "It looks to me like you all just wanted an excuse to eat, drink, and have fun, and you’re using my pregnancy to do it. Why do I feel like this has nothing to do with me?"
Everyone roared with laughter at her comment.
Zheng Changhe laughed. "Daughter, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Our family has had one happy event after another this year—a new person, a new ox. Now, with the New Year so close, you’re pregnant too. Your father just wanted to have a lively celebration and couldn’t wait for the New Year."
Zhang Dashuan chimed in, "How could it have nothing to do with you? If you weren’t here, none of us would have any appetite to eat!"
As He and the woman from the Yang Family brought the dishes to the table one by one, the group closed the door, shutting out the swirling snowflakes and the cold air. They lit the oil lamp, gathered around the square table, and with beaming smiles, began to eat from the steaming hot pot.
Amid the bustle, everyone caught a peculiar smell. Liu Yunlan’s nose twitched. She glanced at Hulu in the arms of the woman from the Yang Family, then announced to everyone with an apologetic, blushing face, "Oh! The baby... the baby did something!"
She quickly put down her bowl and chopsticks, took little Hulu from the arms of the woman from the Yang Family, and was about to go to Juhua’s room next door to clean him up. Seeing this, the group looked at little Hulu and burst out laughing.
He said, "What’s the big deal? He’s just a little baby. Pooping and peeing is what they do. Who’s going to laugh at him for that? Don’t go to the room. Just sit here by the foot warmer to clean him. That way, the heat from below will keep him from catching a cold."
Juhua and the woman from the Yang Family both went over to help. The woman from the Yang Family laughed and said, "My grandson doesn’t make poop, he makes Gold! It’s not stinky at all, it’s fragrant!"
As she spoke, she skillfully helped Liu Yunlan wipe little Hulu’s bottom and change his diaper.
Everyone cracked up. Qingmu even took a couple of deliberate sniffs and said, "It’s not stinky. How can a milk-fed baby’s poop be stinky? Yangzi, wouldn’t you agree?" He looked annoyed when he saw Yangzi laughing so hard he started to cough.
Zhang Yang finally stopped coughing and quickly retorted, "Of course, your son’s poop is fragrant—even the dogs fight over it!"
Zhang Huai desperately tried to hold back his laughter, while Zheng Changhe and Zhang Dashuan just chuckled nonstop.
He glanced at her younger son and said, "Of course dogs fight over it. That one mother-in-law... I forget her name... when she’d help her grandson poop, she would never wipe his bottom. After he was done, she’d just call the dog over to lick it clean."
Zhang Yang made a face. "Mom, what are you talking about? Who would do something like that? What if the dog bit the kid’s butt? Ugh, stop talking about it! Are you trying to make it so no one can eat?"
Zhang Dashuan chimed in with a laugh, "That was Grandma Wang from your mother’s home village. Don’t you remember?"
He nodded. "That’s her." She then turned to Zhang Yang and said, "You little brat, you’re so picky about this and that. Weren’t you the one who was always pooping in bed when you were little? Have you forgotten?"
Qingmu, who had been raising his chopsticks to pick up some food, stopped mid-air and burst out laughing.
Yangzi said complainingly, "Mom, how am I supposed to remember things from when I was a baby? Why didn’t you put a diaper on me? Why did you let me poop in the bed?"
He’s eyes widened. "Because you were so clever! I clearly put a diaper on you. Your older brother was watching you for a bit, but then he went to the outhouse for a moment. You rolled around on the bed by yourself, playing with the pillow, and managed to wiggle right out of your diaper before sitting on the pillow and pooping on it."
Zhang Yang, utterly mortified, could only grin foolishly as everyone erupted in riotous laughter!
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