There Must Be Something Wrong With This Game!

Targeting the big four wasn’t some spur-of-the-moment idea Duan Fei had about overthrowing the world.

While the idea was tempting, Duan Fei gave up on it.

For Duan Fei, completing the event objective and clearing the contamination was the most important mission.

He laid out the mission. Then, using his Talent, he continuously added individuals to the equation—himself, his teammates, the CEOs of various corporations, and so on. This was how he determined the most suitable people for the job.

As long as he could identify who could help him achieve his goal, Duan Fei could mark them as potential allies. He would then create a new task to win them over and start planning his approach.

However, as his simulations progressed, Duan Fei discovered that while the CEOs of other companies could, to varying degrees, increase the success rate of clearing the contamination, the top four companies could not.

This indicated that these four companies had likely sided with the contamination. They were its representatives, and bringing them in would only slow down his progress.

But if he took them out preemptively, his plans concerning the Level 9 Citizen would be much easier to execute.

Explaining all this would be a bit troublesome. It would inevitably involve his Talent, which might lead the Lone Ranger to unnecessary conclusions.

Although Duan Fei trusted the Lone Ranger, he thought it would be more interesting to keep him in the dark.

After learning who Duan Fei wanted to target, the Bartender rubbed his iron chin with great interest. "The top four companies are Sinful Company, which controls the prisons; Star Company, which manages Starlink; Eternal Future Co., Ltd., which runs entertainment and media; and Nirvana Company, which controls the hospitals. Captain, which one are you going after first?"

"Let’s pick the softest target. We’ll go after that entertainment and media company first. Call your reporter friend. We need his help. Tell him to hurry; we only have a little over four days left."

While the president of Luminous Heavy Industry was still pondering what attitude to take when approaching Duan Fei, the Bartender’s reporter friend had already arrived.

Although the Bartender had repeatedly stressed that the guy was a non-stop trash talker, when Duan Fei saw him, he felt he was on a whole other level of wild.

And not just because he had been delivered by a courier service.

But because it was a microwave oven—one with a built-in convection function.

Using "it" might have been impolite, but there was no way to tell the guy’s gender. The only thing certain was that it was a new model—the protective film on the side of its chassis hadn’t even been peeled off yet.

From the moment it was taken out of the shipping box and placed on the counter, Yan Yuan was staring at the partially peeled film on its chassis. He fought the urge several times to fly over and rip it the rest of the way off, but managed to restrain himself.

"Just a piece of film is enough to get me this worked up. This oven is seriously hot," Yan Yuan mused. "And I really want to get inside and feel for myself—see whose body is hotter, his or mine."

"You two are a perfect match!" Duan Fei blurted out. "And you—what’s your story? How did you end up as a microwave? Were you born this way, or was it an accident? Are you related to a certain refrigerator?"

"Cyberpsychosis," the microwave’s door swung open and shut as a voice emerged from its internal speaker. "I have a rather severe case. They said the illness gave me extreme antisocial tendencies."

"And what were the specific symptoms?"

"I publicly declared that capitalism is wrong and that workers have the right and the ability to form their own enterprises to compete with others. According to my blueprint, this enterprise would include nine years of compulsory education, state economic control, and a strong, centralized ideology. Only then can people free themselves from constant internal strife and establish a legendary regime."

The microwave’s ideals filled Duan Fei with a sense of awe. ’It’s rare to encounter a socialist like this in a game,’ he thought.

"You’re one heck of a microwave. But why did you turn into one?"

"Like I said, they claimed I was too sick, spouting crazy talk every day. So they dragged me in for an examination and said my cyberpsychosis was so severe, I had to be ’surgically altered to show my resolve.’ Next thing I know, a ’wife’ I’d never met mysteriously appeared and signed the surgical consent form. When I woke up, I..."

"Became a microwave?" Duan Fei asked curiously.

"No, a smart toilet. The kind they install in public restrooms. Only then did the hospital claim they’d made a mistake, but everyone knew they did it on purpose! Afterward, they said I could either stay that way or they could help me switch bodies. So, I became a microwave."

After hearing the microwave’s story, Duan Fei wanted to laugh but felt it would be rude, so he struggled to hold it in.

The others had similar expressions, each one looking constipated as they fought the urge to burst out laughing.

Yan Yuan, on the other hand, was roaring with laughter. He flew above the microwave and said, "So, are there any perks to being a microwave?"

"Sure there are. I started working at a convenience store, and I make a lot in tips every day. Who doesn’t love a microwave that can tell jokes?"

Marveling at the guy’s incredible mental fortitude, Duan Fei placed a hand on him and saw that the contamination indicator didn’t change.

"Let me tell you something. You don’t have cyberpsychosis."

"Ha! I knew it! How could a cause as great as socialism be a symptom of cyberpsychosis? No, I have to go back and tell the others. You are wrong, and I am right! Your persecution is born from your fear of my noble ideals and grand ambitions! I will forever stand on the moral high ground of humanity and spit on you!"

"And get turned into a toilet?"

The microwave thought about it and felt that was a very real possibility.

Opening his door, he nuzzled against Duan Fei’s arm like a puppy and said coaxingly, "Hey, buddy, I can tell you’re a comrade walking the great path, too. Just help me persuade the others, okay? Don’t worry, they definitely won’t turn me into a toilet the first time. A rice cooker at worst."

"Do you guys have some kind of beef with home appliances?" Duan Fei asked, exasperated.

"A treadmill, then."

"...One bite at a time, one step at a time. Let’s take down the big four first, then we can slowly put your principles into practice."

"That works. In that case, I suggest we go after Eternal Future. The company’s foundations are all in the Virtual World; they have almost no infrastructure in the real world. Taking them down will be easier."

The microwave’s idea coincided with Duan Fei’s, making him think that this guy truly was the ace in the hole for defeating Eternal Future.

Through his Talent, Duan Fei discovered that the microwave didn’t even need outside help. He could paralyze Eternal Future all by himself. The principle behind how he could do it was a complete mystery to Duan Fei.

As Duan Fei watched with anticipation, the microwave had the Bartender plug him in. Then, he slammed his door shut and cranked his power level to a specific frequency.

The next moment, there was a blackout.

Not in the tavern. The entire network.