The Innkeeper

Chapter 2078: Grandma Birdie’s plan to make her ex-husband jealous

Over the next few hours, Lex actually found himself with little to do. Upon finding out that Eclipse had organised an activity at noon, those Dao Lords who were lounging about quickly went off to go complete, or at least start any meetings they wanted to have.

Who knew how long the Primordial Queens event would last? It would be a shame if they wasted this opportunity to form agreements just because they were slow to start.

Even those who were already in meetings were informed by that trusty owl that went around knocking on all doors. At first, many were angry to be interrupted, but once they heard that the Primordial Queen had invited them, all that anger dissipated into thin air.

Thus, the tavern became mostly secluded. The few Dao Lords who could not be bothered to go into the meetings were mainly those who wanted to court Mary. Even then, they were not forceful. In fact, they did not bring up the matter of courting her at all.

Though silly their actions may seem, they were Dao Lords nonetheless. Which one of them had not experienced the vicissitudes of life? How could they not understand that Mary had expressed disinterest in being pursued? They were in no rush. A million years was still too short a time if that’s what it took to pursue a woman like her. They were playing the long game, sowing seeds now that would take a long time to sprout.

So, Mary actually ended up having quite a pleasant time - much to Lex’s regret. The conversations she had were interesting and stimulating, ranging from all sorts of topics. She did not feel pressured at all, and instead found the experience quite enjoyable.

Although she knew the guests intentions, and they knew that she knew, no one mentioned it. Everyone was smart, there was no need to show off. She was humoring her guests, and they were keeping her company, and everyone was having a good time so why get caught up in the details?

While this sort of tactic would never work on Mary, who was she to deny an easy time in dealing with guests? Compared to having to fend them off repeatedly, this was much more preferable.

So, in a strange twist of fate, Lex found himself mostly free. Even the new shift of workers in the kitchen found themselves with nothing to do, though they stayed on their toes nevertheless.

The next morning, just before noon, the kitchen staff went to rest and the other rotation of workers came in. Most of them looked pretty fresh and energetic. With the Inn providing them with the best rooms, best food and best environment, how could they not be refreshed?

That was the exact thing Lex wanted to find out when he walked up to Pierre who looked like he hadn’t rested a wink.

"What’s wrong?" the Innkeeper asked, concernedly. "Were you unable to sleep?"

Pierre looked up at the Innkeeper, and sighed.

"I did sleep, and that’s the problem. I kept having nightmares that Brenda replaced all the salt in the saltshakers with baking soda. My body is refreshed, but my mind is wary."

The Innkeeper looked at Pierre, and then towards Brenda, who was testing the consistency of french toast that was to be served to the guests with a chopstick.

"Do you want me to have a word with her?" the Innkeeper asked. "You know, she does not seek to cause trouble - she just wants to look out for the guests, and has her own way of doing that."

Pierre shook his head.

"No, you don’t need to do that. This is my responsibility, and I can handle it. Besides, if I didn’t know she only had good intentions, I would have never allowed her into my kitchen. It’s just that... this morning she tried to create a french toast scented soap so that the smell of her soap doesn’t ruin the french toast. I would have just ignored it if she hadn’t gone and stolen the french toast we were supposed to serve the guests."

Lex looked from Pierre to Brenda, who was now trying to pick up the mashed french toast she had somehow created. It wasn’t going well. Lex felt like... she might be the first mortal in history to successfully steal food from a Dao Lord. Not only that, she had lived to tell the tale!

"You know, I can see through the intricacy of the formation of space itself, but I’m not quite sure how her brain works," the Innkeeper said to Pierre as he patted him on the back. "If she gets too much then you can let me know. I can talk to her, or maybe have her transferred to a different department."

Pierre nodded reluctantly, though he did not quite seem satisfied with the result.

Pierre sighed as the Innkeeper left, and said in a defeated voice, "Brenda, you can’t suck french toast through a straw."

The Innkeeper chuckled, and then finally made his way outside the tavern to check up on Eclipse. Although it was not noon yet, he wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

What he had not expected, honestly, was to come outside and find that Eclipse and Nulli were lying on their chests chatting with each other while a waddle of miniature ducks, each one barely the size of the Innkeepers pinkyfinger, walked all over their backs, massaging them.

The sight was actually quite adorable - if one ignored the fact that each of the tiny ducks was a Demi-Dao Lord. Bloody hell, was there a sale on Demi-Dao Lords at a wholesale store that he didn’t hear about? Could he still buy one if he reached in time?

"Oh? Innkeeper? Do you want a massage too?" asked Nulli, who promptly noticed his arrival. "Feel free to join us - you’ll have to take your shirt off first though."

Even if Lex were a billion times gutsier, he would not let a bunch of Demi-Dao Lord ducks walk on his back! Not to mention, this Nulli clearly had ulterior motives. She was the first Dao Lord he’d witnessed who was so... open about her tastes.

"Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to decline," said the Innkeeper politely. "Though, I must admit, this seems like a truly luxurious facility."

Eclipse seemed pleased at the comment.

"Yup, this is my personal massage army. The Waddle Brigade is pretty good. Did you know, their mother was once married to a Phoenix? It was quite the scandal back in the day, since the duck had successfully pretended to be a Fire Crow by painting its feathers orange and carrying a star with it everywhere it went."

Before the Innkeeper could even process what he had just heard, Nulli exclaimed in shock!

"Oh shoot! Are these Grandma Birdie’s kids? Did you know their father has been looking for them for billions of years?"

Eclipse snorted upon hearing Nulli.

"So what? That old Phoenix divorced Birdie, and he didn’t care about the kids until he realized that they had the Eternal Sun bloodline within them. If he has a bone to pick, he can come find me. I promised Birdie to look after her kids."

Lex just felt like he had accidentally overheard a piece of huge gossip. Unfortunately, he did not understand the context well enough to grasp the full scale of what he had heard. Maybe he should share the news with Velma to see how she would react.

"Why doesn’t she look after the kids herself? It’s not like she’s dead or something. Last I recall, Grandma Birdie was seen inside the Oblivion realm," said Nulli.

Eclipse rolled her eyes.

"What? You want me to reveal all her secrets to you? I’ll have you know, I am a very trustworthy friend, and would never reveal the details of how she is making her ex-husband jealous."

The Innkeeper coughed. This conversation was going in a direction he felt was inappropriate for the public. Besides that, he now confirmed that Eclipse was basically Velma’s soulmate. The two were born to sit and gossip together - he had no doubt about that at all.

"Not to interrupt your extremely crucial and sensitive conversation, but I was wondering if we might speak," said the Innkeeper, quickly taking control of the direction of the conversation. "I was wondering if you might share with me the details of what you have planned for today in the afternoon. I might be able to help with the organisation."

Eclipse, looked at the Innkeeper for a moment, and then nodded.

"You sure are a helpful fellow. But I think I have this handled. I left all the details of the activities up to my senate. They will come up with something based on their understanding of me. They’ve never disappointed me so far, which means that we should all look forward to the festivities."

Ah, so even she herself had no idea of what was about to happen. Wonderful.