Solaena's [Guided] Journey (Fantasy LitRPG)

I felt my [Vitality] flow within my blood.

Not concentrated within one hand.

Not confined to one muscle, one organ, or one carefully isolated region.

It suffused the entirety of my circulatory system.

Every droplet.

Every cell.

Every dissolved nutrient, compound, waste product, and trace element moving throughout my physical vessel.

Gold pulsed feebly beneath my skin, faint enough to remain invisible without heightened [Awareness], but present nonetheless.

My heart contracted.

The blood moved.

And my [Vitality] moved with it.

Through my chest.

Beside the base of my wings.

Along my arms.

Down my abdomen.

Through every branching vessel until it reached capillaries so narrow that only a mere few thousand individual blood cells passed through them at once.

Then it returned.

And the [Cycle] repeated.

One complete circulation after another.

Compared to actively infusing my organs, the difficulty remained relatively manageable.

My [Vitality] existed within the blood rather than the tissues this same blood supplied.

That distinction prevented most immediate reactions.

My heart wasn't being commanded to beat harder or better.

My lungs weren't being forced out of their torpor.

My digestive system wasn't trying to accelerate its absorption of food that wasn't there.

My nervous system wasn't being flooded with signals it didn't know what to make of.

All in all, my "delicate" organs were only exposed passively, keeping their [Tempering] [Cultivation] [Control]led while allowing unseen complications to reveal themselves.

Such as my liver attempting to extract portions of the manifested [Vitality] alongside the substances it normally filtered from my blood.

Or my kidneys interpreting [Vitality]-induced residues as compounds requiring emergency removal.

Or how my blood cells became more resistant to deformation, improving their structural resilience while making passage through my narrowest vessels slightly more difficult.

Or the tissues lining my arteries responding to the increased persistence of my blood by lessening their tension.

All logical reactions.

All incorrect ones.

My [Vitality] was only meant to support the biological role of my blood.

I adjusted the concept.

My blood cells regained their necessary flexibility.

My filtering organs ceased treating the consequences of the presence of my [Vitality] as foreign matter.

My vessels' walls resumed maintaining themselves according to their own condition rather than the apparent rigidity of what passed through them.

None of the corrections required haste.

No tissue was being saturated with toxins.

No region was entering shock.

Even when a flawed interaction emerged, I possessed the Aspects to observe it before it developed into anything dangerous.

That left me plenty of time.

Time to heighten my [Awareness].

Time to distinguish each reaction through my [Clarity].

Time to isolate how one conceptual adjustment altered every subsequent interaction.

Time to refine my [Mastery] without having to extinguish the manifestation at the first sign of instability.

This was a medium-intensity [Vitality] [Cultivation].

Nothing extraordinary.

I hadn't ignited my [Ambition].

My energy expenditure remained well within what my natural reserves could sustain—if not for an indefinite period of time.

This sort of [Vitality] [Cultivation] primarily served to expand my [Foundation], in the end, not to make significant progress towards establishing my first [Vitality] [Cultivation] [Cycle].

Blood was interconnected with everything, after all.

Allowing my [Vitality] to circulate through it offered shallow exposure to nearly every organ and tissue within my body without forcing me to adapt the entirety of my concept to them simultaneously.

It was an efficient intermediary step.

So I proceeded as usual.

I observed.

I honed in on something.

I made [Guided] retrieve the relevant [Knowledge].

I adapted.

I tested.

I repeated.

And whenever I encountered an unfamiliar interaction, a sea of [Life] [Knowledge] stirred at the edge of my mind.

A physiological process.

A procedure.

A passage from a text.

One of Xafsa's corrections.

An old [Tempering] experiment whose relevance had remained invisible when I first conducted it.

[Guided] summoned whatever might matter.

I sorted through it.

Usually, that process required effort.

The sea was too extensive.

Every question brought forth more [Knowledge] than I could immediately integrate.

Some fragments settled into existing [Comprehension].

Others had to be preserved as isolated information.

Most remained suspended within the ocean, relevant without yet being understood.

This time, however...

Something felt different.

Not smaller.

Not deeper.

If anything, the volume of [Life] [Knowledge] that [Guided] could summon had only continued expanding with the amount of time I idled away seeking such [Life] [Knowledge].

Books.

Patients.

Procedured.

Experiments performed through my [Vitality] globe.

Every moment spent observing my own body...

All of it had been added.

Yet what rose from that ocean no longer pressed against my mind with the same chaotic weight.

A piece of [Knowledge] concerning blood-cell deformation emerged.

And smoothly slid into my [Comprehension] of circulation.

A recollection of plantoid nutrient transport surfaced.

Rather than remaining an interesting comparison, it settled precisely where it belonged within my broader [Comprehension] of distributed biological exchange.

One of Xafsa's explanations regarding localized systemic failure arose.

Its implications connected not only to my present practice, but to my [Comprehension] of Civilization.

How one region of a greater structure could preserve itself by redirecting resources away from another.

How a local decision could appear optimal while weakening the whole.

How the whole could survive by allowing one part to fail.

The [Knowledge] didn't merely appear.

I grasped it.

Not entirely, that I knew.

But more smoothly than before.

It flowed toward the structures of [Comprehension] capable of holding it.

And before I understood what was occurring...

My many [Comprehension]s surged from the depths of my mind.

My [Comprehension] of Civilization.

The endless web of interests I had spent more than a year observing.

Institutions.

Credits.

Scarcity.

Authority.

Relationships.

Pleasure.

Duty.

How countless entities pursued incompatible [Purpose]s while still contributing to structures none controlled alone.

My [Comprehension] of [Life].

Persistence.

Change.

Energy.

Identity.

Recovery.

Adaptation.

The sacrifice of individual parts for systemic continuity.

The preservation of a system through the transformation of nearly everything composing it.

My [Comprehension] of myself.

My refusal to accept sufficiency.

The resentment I had disguised as calculation.

The manner in which my [Ambition] shaped what I considered relevant.

How [Guided] and I were neither two entirely separate existences nor one wholly unified one.

My [Comprehension] of my Aspects.

How [Cultivation] directed development.

How [Harmony] unified what had already been shaped.

How [Clarity] distinguished.

How [Mastery] revealed the extent of my command.

How [Purity] separated what belonged from what contaminated.

How [Will] imposed.

How [Ambition] determined which impositions mattered to my existence.

My [Comprehension] of my Path.

Not a series of actions.

Not a sequence of Aspects.

Not a collection of objectives.

A [Foundation] for me to stand on.

Each development altering the meaning and application of everything acquired before it.

Each [Comprehension] creating the [Foundation] through which later [Knowledge] could be grasped.

Each contradiction revealing not only an error, but the limits of the structure through which I had attempted to understand it.

The surge continued.

And I felt my [Comprehension] Aspect react.

I felt the first ripples before I even consciously identified the signs inherent to an advancement disorder.

It spread through my mind.

Then my Essence.

Then back through every [Comprehension] I possessed.

I immediately stopped my [Vitality] [Cultivation].

The gold suffusing my blood and shining weakly through my skin faded.

My physiological [Cultivation] [Cycle] continued circulating what remained until no trace of it persisted.

No organ had suffered meaningful damage.

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No correction remained urgently incomplete.

With no worries, I entered true communion to behold my [Comprehension] Aspect stirring within my Essence.

Not violently.

Not through any sudden [Insight] on my part.

Through sheer accumulation.

[Cultivation].

[Mastery].

There was no single revelation responsible for the advancement.

No single [Truth] that had struck me so profoundly that my Aspect had been forced to reflect it.

My [Comprehension] had simply... deepened.

From every book I had read.

From every [Insight] I had pursued instead of leaving it a momentary glimpse.

From every relationship I had uncovered between fragments of [Knowledge].

From every concept I had tested.

From every false conclusion I had broken apart.

From every procedure whose underlying principles I had sought instead of merely memorizing its sequence.

From every part of my proto-concept of [Vitality] I had constructed from nothing and then repeatedly dismantled when experience proved it flawed.

From the months I had now spent comprehending without shutting my mind to any new [Knowledge].

From... acquiring a [Comprehension] of what [Comprehension] meant.

Not the possession of [Knowledge].

One could know every component of a procedure and still fail to understand why they belonged together.

Not the [Clarity] to see things for what they really were.

I could distinguish two principles perfectly without grasping the relationship between them.

Not a combination of [Insight]s allowing me to glimpse the previously hidden.

[Comprehension] was what occurred afterward.

When the glimpses acquired structure.

When its implications connected to everything surrounding it.

When I could test it.

Apply it.

Find where it failed.

Recognize why.

Then rebuild it into something deeper.

It was neither [Truth] nor [Knowledge].

Not yet.

But it played a part in them.

For [Comprehension] was a process through which one grasped [Truth] and [Knowledge].

Or something like that...

The advancement disorder distorted the certainty of even that conclusion.

For every time I believed I grasped the nature of [Comprehension], both the Aspect and the concept revealed another facet beneath it.

To understand something was not merely to possess an accurate model.

It was to understand the limits of that model.

The conditions under which it applied.

The assumptions supporting it.

The perspectives from which it appeared false.

The deeper structure that allowed apparently contradictory expressions to remain part of the same concept.

There was always more.

A deeper [Comprehension] to attain, beyond the pervasive belief that I would one day achieve thorough [Comprehension] of something.

That I had assembled a somewhat coherent concept of [Vitality]...

It meant nothing.

The day I deluded myself into believing otherwise simply because my concept functioned...

I would have strayed from my Path.

A successful result only proved that my [Comprehension], with the support of all my other Aspects, was sufficient for that result under those circumstances.

Nothing more.

My [Comprehension] of [Vitality] would continue deepening for centuries to come.

My [Comprehension] of [Life], for millennia.

As for my [Comprehension] of Civilization, it would continue to expand until I had observed every institution in every Sector, and yet would still remain incomplete.

For Civilization itself would continue changing as I endeavored to study and comprehend it.

The same applied to myself.

My Aspects.

My Path.

Every conclusion was a [Foundation].

Never an ending.

The advancement disorder intensified.

My existing [Comprehension]s rose once more.

As strange forms of memories.

Networks of relationships expanding through my mind.

Some dense.

Others sparse.

Some supported by experience, application, and repeated correction.

Others hung from only one uncertain thread.

I perceived the differences more distinctly than ever.

What I understood.

What I believed I understood.

What I only recognized.

What I knew without understanding.

What I had misunderstood so consistently that the error itself had become integrated into later conclusions.

My [Clarity] helped separate them.

My [Mastery] exposed which [Comprehension]s I could apply and adapt rather than merely recite.

[Harmony] preserved the relationships without allowing them to collapse into one indistinguishable whole.

Then, gradually...

The turbulent structures settled.

Aspect Advanced: [Comprehension] (Tier 0) ➞ [Comprehension] (Tier 1)

The advancement disorder receded.

And what it left behind was a deeper, broader [Comprehension] Aspect.

One yet more firmly rooted in my Path as another Aspect that would allow me to pursue my [Ambition] better than before.

Stopping my true communion, my room returned to my [Awareness], alongside my unfinished [Vitality] [Cultivation] session.

I had advanced my [Comprehension] Aspect.

A major step.

But still only one.

Thousands of books' worth of [Knowledge] and [Truth] remained uncomprehended.

Tens of thousands more remained unread.

Entire species existed whose physiologies I had never encountered.

Aspects whose conceptual natures I knew only by name.

Organizations whose functions I couldn't describe.

Civilizational structures I had glimpsed but a fragment of their immensity.

The Everwell Sector alone contained more [Knowledge] than I could presently conceptualize.

And every fragment I acquired would expose more beneath it.

I still had a long way to go.

So I resumed my [Cultivation] as I had always done.

Day after day.

[Vitality] [Cultivation] session after [Vitality] [Cultivation] session.

I infused my blood.

Then allowed the concept to enter the tissues of my heart.

The vessel linings and surfaces repeatedly exposed through circulation.

I adapted my [Vitality] to my lungs.

Breathed so that I could see to my [Mastery] of the exchange between blood and air.

To the thin and delicate alveoli whose fragility made that exchange possible.

I tuned it so resilience wouldn't become thickness.

So protection wouldn't impair function.

I allowed it to interact with my liver.

My kidneys.

My digestive structures.

My reproductive organs, immature as they remained.

My nervous system.

Never all at once.

Never with uncontrolled intensity.

One tissue.

One function.

One interaction after another.

Whenever my safety margin was extensive, I ignited my [Ambition].

Whenever it narrowed, I read.

Whenever it rested between both states, I tested my [Comprehension] through [Mastery].

My newly advanced [Comprehension] Aspect made the distinctions between those phases increasingly valuable.

Books no longer merely provided information relevant to my current problem.

Their principles settled into broader structures.

A passage on toxin filtration altered my [Comprehension] of systemic sacrifice.

A case concerning a patient whose organs competed for limited energy deepened my understanding of how [Vitality] couldn't preserve every part equally in every circumstance.

A text on distributed colony organisms revealed that my concept still assumed too strongly that [Life] possessed one centralized identity.

Every answer broadened the question.

Every question gave [Guided] more precise currents to summon from the ocean of [Life] [Knowledge] I swam through but could never hope to swallow anytime soon.

And my [Vitality] continued becoming more.

Then, one day, Xafsa summoned me to its office once I was done with my duty period.

Such a summon was neither unexpected nor concerning.

It was how he kept up to date with my progress and, I suspected, part of ascertaining I still deserved to be part of an incentive program.

So I completed my duties.

Reviewed the records of the patients assigned to Xafsa.

Transferred every unresolved observation to the relevant Aspirants.

Then ascended toward the four hundred and fifth floor.

By now, more than a year and four months had passed since I joined the Pulse Of Eternity.

More than enough time for the tower to have become my home, or something of the same meaning, until circumstances once more brought me to change it.

It was where I worked.

It was where I studied.

It was where the majority of my relationships, resources, and opportunities intersected.

The door to Xafsa's office opened as I approached.

Its workspace remained unchanged.

Ordered piles, low surfaces, open central space, with Xafsa anchored amid it all.

Nevertheless, there was something different this time.

One attention-catching object resting upon the nearest empty surface.

A rectangular box of pristine white metal.

Xafsa turned several sensory filaments toward me.

"Congratulations," it said. "Your promotion to the rank of Aspirant has been formally approved."

I waited for further instructions or words.

Nothing followed.

So I inquired, "Should I be asking about the promotion process?"

"You could," Xafsa answered.

"Does this promotion not involve any examination?"

"No."

"Does this promotion not involve a final evaluation?"

"You've already completed it."

"What about an interview with the Pulse equivalent of one of the Faith's Veiled?"

"You have been interviewed repeatedly throughout your duties, whether you recognized the interactions as such or not."

"That was my last question, then," I finished.

Continuous assessment, it was.

Certainly more efficient than arranging one final test whose result could be distorted by preparation, chance, or temporary performance.

At least now I didn't have to dedicate more of my idle time to pondering the unknown promotion process used by the Pulse Of Eternity.

"Your competence, conduct, duty attendances, repository activity, practical record, [Mastery] Aspect formation, [Comprehension] Aspect advancement, and progression toward forming the [Vitality] Aspect have all exceeded the requirements for formal Aspirant recognition," Xafsa continued.

It extended one filament toward the box.

"This is yours."

I approached.

The white metal lid opened without any visible latch.

Inside rested a folded uniform.

Pristine white.

Close-fitting.

Smooth.

Sterilizable.

At first glance, it was nearly identical to the one I already wore.

The same fitted sleeves.

The same short split panels.

The same shaped openings for my wings.

The same covered hands and feet.

Its seams possessed slightly greater definition.

The fabric around the torso and joints appeared more intricately woven.

Several pockets had been altered to accommodate the instruments Aspirants were authorized to carry.

But the greatest distinction rested upon the chest.

A golden torus knot.

Not the simplified three interwoven loops marking a trial Aspirant.

Four.

Aspirant Solaena.

I would take it.

Not because the title transformed anything intrinsic to my existence.

My Path hadn't changed because an institution had recognized me differently.

My [Vitality] concept remained incomplete.

My overdevelopment disorder remained.

Xafsa remained more competent than me by an extent I still couldn't meaningfully calculate.

But rank provided access, if not a wider selection of repository texts yet.

Authority, too.

Duties of greater educational value.

More complex patients.

Greater institutional recognition.

And one more completed objective within my incentive program.

"Understood," I said.

Then, because the occasion had already interrupted my [Cultivation] routine...

I used it.

"My [Vitality] can now circulate throughout the entirety of my blood while passively interacting with every major organ without producing any immediately dangerous reaction."

Xafsa's filaments faintly slowed their dance.

"Demonstrate."

I placed the uniform box to one side.

Then manifested my [Vitality].

Gold entered the blood within my palm.

Spread through my wrist.

Up my arm.

Reached my heart.

One contraction distributed it throughout my body.

A faint pulse of golden light traveled through my veins, visible for only an instant before sinking beneath skin, muscle, and organs.

I heightened my [Awareness].

Allowed Xafsa to examine me.

My [Vitality] passed through my lungs.

My liver.

My kidneys.

My nervous tissues.

My wings.

Every structure remained functional.

Not unaffected.

That wasn't the objective.

They interacted.

Adjusted.

Received support where my concept of [Vitality] had become seamlessly compatible.

Rejected or resisted portions that still required [Cultivation].

But no systemic reaction spiraled beyond my control.

Xafsa observed for several minutes.

Then spoke.

"Your circulation integration is exceptionally advanced for this stage."

A compliment.

One that interestingly wasn't followed by an immediate correction.

"Your in-depth guidance regarding the distinction between energy availability and sustainable biological capacity prevented several weeks of unnecessary [Cultivation]," I answered.

Xafsa didn't respond, only shifted its filaments back toward the records and paperwork on its desk.

I ceased [Will]ing my [Vitality] into existence and watched the gold fade while my [Comprehension] of this social pattern increased further.

Xafsa still corrected me more often than it praised.

But it had grown more willing to acknowledge my progress.

More willing to state when one of my applications exceeded its expectations.

More willing to provide guidance before I had exhausted every lesser route on my own.

And [Guided] had noticed this shift, which then naturally made me aware of it.

As for what this shift meant...

Relationships were one of the most fundamental parts of Civilization's web of interests.

I had long recognized that fact, even without caring for the emotional interpretations others might attach to them.

Xafsa had invested time into nurturing me and my Path.

My progression reflected upon its judgment.

My competence made me a more useful aide.

My future rank could increase the value of having instructed me.

My unusual development might provide it with opportunities unavailable through ordinary members of the Pulse.

At the same time...

I gained nearly everything from the relationship.

Guidance.

Access.

Corrections.

Authority.

Patients.

Institutional protection.

An early route toward [Vitality].

And, eventually, regardless of whether Xafsa played a role in it, the promised records concerning the attenuation of my overdevelopment disorder.

Our interests intersected.

Not perfectly.

Not permanently.

But substantially.

As such, there was no escaping that web.

Attempting to remain outside it would only mean refusing to recognize the threads already wrapped around my Path.

So I would play the same game as everyone else.

In my own way.

Whenever Xafsa's contribution meaningfully advanced my Path, I acknowledged it.

Explicitly.

Accurately.

No flattery.

No exaggerated gratitude.

No emotional display whose sincerity I couldn't support.

Only recognition of what had occurred.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

If that strengthened the relationship and encouraged Xafsa to continue investing in me...

Useful.

If it merely ensured its contributions weren't ignored...

Also useful.

"Your earlier insistence that I continue using the [Vitality] globe while adapting the concept to my body also prevented my recent circulation corrections from becoming excessively specific to fairy physiology," I added.

"Without it, my current manifestation would likely preserve centralized organs too aggressively at the expense of distributed tissues."

Several sensory filaments turned toward me again.

"Your [Comprehension] is your own."

Another silence.

Then Xafsa pushed the uniform box closer.

"Change before your next duty period. Your identification and permissions will be officially raised by then. You will no longer require direct approval for several procedures you already perform competently. Your patient observations will carry formal diagnostic weight. Your schedule will also begin to include independent treatment periods."

More responsibility.

More opportunities to further my [Mastery].

Good.

I secured the box with threads while Xafsa returned its attention to the waiting paperwork, then, the conversation having evidently ended, turned toward the door.

"Aspirant Solaena," Xafsa said before I reached it.

I paused.

"Your progress has been impressive."

Another compliment.

This one less clinically qualified than the first.

[Guided] and I considered the appropriate response.

Not denial.

The observation was accurate.

Not pride.

The progress remained insufficient compared to my objective.

So...

"Your instruction has contributed substantially to it."

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Then I left.

The new uniform was useful.

The rank was useful.

Xafsa's growing investment was useful.

My Tier 1 [Comprehension] Aspect was useful.

But none of them constituted an ending.

I still had my [Vitality] Aspect to form.

An overdevelopment disorder to solve.

My Tier 3 [Will] Aspect's limit to surpass.

The promotion merely altered the resources available to the same pursuit.

Because what truly mattered hadn't changed and would never truly change.

And whether it were my Path or my [Ambition], none of them amounted to anything without a stable [Cultivation] routine.