Endless Horde: Through the Eyes of a Godking

Chapter 833: Weight of Failure

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The failure weighed heavily on Pelle’s mind.

He spent most of his way back absent-minded; he didn’t even realize that he was home until one of his entourage told him that he was.

Yes, he didn’t stay behind. He couldn’t. Not after what he saw and what happened.

The billions of bugs under his command, the ones that rallied under his command, all vaporized in a single instant. None of them even knew how they died; they just disappeared, just like that. They couldn’t even scream or make a sound before it all happened.

Now, Pelle wasn’t a stranger to his siblings dying. It happens all the time; hell, even he kills them from time to time. It’s because his mother could endlessly create them that Pelle felt no psychological burden whenever he saw them die by hundreds at minimum.

But that? That was something else.

That wasn’t just hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions. That was BILLIONS of bugs, annihilated in a single blast. One that happened so quick that none of them were prepared for it.

Even with all the nests sent to the frontlines, Pelle still needed to wait a considerable amount of time to gather that many. And for what? For them to all be wiped out just like that?

To say that ’that’ scene left a deep impression on him would be a huge understatement. That traumatized him, left him scarred, and reminded him as to why humans firmly occupied the entirety of the Heavenly Star Chaos Realm.

’Heavens, why must you mock me like this? ’He wailed internally.

He recalled his optimism and excitement. He remembered his eagerness to show results, to prove to his mother that he could do it, that sending him out there was the best decision she could’ve ever made.

As it turns out, he was thinking too highly of himself. And he’s got nothing else to blame other than himself, really.

Because, if his mother—the Bug Empress herself—couldn’t do it, what exactly made him think that he could?

Him? Taking down the space marines with his leadership and power? Waltzing into the Heavenly Star Chaos Realm and causing chaos and havoc? Fat chance! His mother has tried multiple times before, and she barely made a dent. Who gave him the confidence?

Hell, he even nearly lost his life out there! If his mother’s protection wasn’t triggered in time, that gigantic blaster could’ve vaporized him too!

And if he died, just imagine how the Bug Empress would feel. Could she even bring him back again?

One must know that she already violated the Supreme Will multiple times by reviving her children into this new form. She had greatly suffered from it, and it’s only through the mercy of the Supreme Will that she’s still alive.

Maybe it took pity on her. Maybe not. Either way, there’s no way that she could endlessly revive them. The Supreme Will will never agree to that!

And the last thing Pelle wanted to happen was to break his mother’s heart. Even she told him that!

It wasn’t even his orders that brought him back here. It was the Bug Empress’ orders. She felt her protection being triggered and didn’t hesitate to pull him out of there, sending her orders through the hive mind.

“Well, look who’s back.” A pitchy and teasing voice floated in his ears, causing him to return to the present.

Pelle recognized that voice even before he saw her. It’s Maricel, his sister and the smarter one.

A groan escaped from his throat even before he noticed it, then he asked, “What? Came to gloat?”

“Maybe?” Maricel sounded amused, but it didn’t last long.

Her expression turned serious, and her eyes inspected him deeply, as if she could see his soul. Past the large and bulky carapace he now wore, past the monstrous body he now inhabits.

It’s like she sees him as his original self, the one he had before their family’s tragedy happened.

“The next time you feel antsy, come to me first. You’re not alone in this fight and in this war.”

Maricel didn’t say much, just this, and she moved on, not wanting to linger around for too long. Pelle knows that she’s busy with her own responsibilities too, and the fact that she even made her way here to welcome him back, in her own way, already speaks volumes for her concern about him.

And Pelle, he understood. Maricel, especially now in this new form of her, wasn’t big on words of encouragement; she was logical, precise, and smart. She doesn’t waste words; she values results. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. She does, a lot.

She’s just never been that expressive, even more so now that she’s like this.

And it’s at fault. He didn’t consult her before heading out. If he did, he would’ve been more grounded and more realistic with his expectations; Maricel would make sure he was before allowing him to leave.

If he had done this, then maybe their mother’s protection wouldn’t have been necessary. Alas, it’s too late for that now.

He’s just a defeated foe, returning with his tail between his legs. He felt miserable, but he had nobody else to blame other than himself.

Sighing in defeat, Pelle walked briskly back to his room.

Calling it a ’room’ was an understatement. In truth, Pelle’s place was as large as a planet. It’s excessive, yes, but he’s a prince, and his mother was the empress of an entire chaos realm. She could’ve given him an entire sector domain as his playground, so this? This is being minimalist.

Upon returning, Pelle ignored everybody he encountered: his butlers, maids, his generals, soldiers…even his playthings, whose minds had long been corrupted by his excessive libido, always yearning for his touch.

He ignored them all. His mind was too occupied by his loss and defeat.

Pelle just wanted to lie down and sleep. Maybe drink until he could forcibly forget all of this.

But as soon as he returned to his actual room, he paused, because there was an unexpected presence already occupying his bed.

Before he even noticed it, a helpless smile already appeared on his insectoid visage. Shaking his head fondly at the sight, he sighed and sat at the edge of the bed, staring lovingly at the small and sleeping figure who’s peacefully slumbering there.

“Mmnn…”

As if sensing his presence, the small creature blearily opened one of its eyes. Pelle saw how the little one struggled to recognize him, and when he finally did, the little one crawled to him, curling on his side and wrapping his tiny arms around his large and bulky body.

“Hi, Cain. You sneaked in to my room again.”

This is Cain, his youngest brother and the most precious one in their family.

At first glance, Cain looked remarkably human—a young child around six to eight years old. If it weren’t for his sharp ears and six pairs of spider-like eyes, as well as budding spider legs growing on his back, he’d really pass as one.

“You no tell me bye-bye. Meanie~”

Oh, he could just hear the pout in that voice. And Pelle’s heart couldn’t help but swell in fondness and affection.

Out of the three of them, Cain was the one who’s mostly unchanged from his original appearance, and it’s all because when he died, his body was kept mostly intact. All their mother needed to do was to make slight modifications to him.

The downside is that Cain, regardless of how much time passed, never grew up physically and mentally. He’s stuck as a naive and adorable child for the rest of his life, maybe.

And so far, that’s not really a problem. He’s the heart of this family and also their most vulnerable spot.

“Aww, I’m sorry. Big bro just had to deal with something. We’ll play together next time, okay?” Pelle couldn’t help but coax the little guy.

No matter how many years passed, he’d never get tired of pampering his little brother. He’d long sworn to protect his innocence; he didn’t see Cain’s situation as a bad thing at all.

“Pwomise?”

Pelle’s heart twitched painfully at the adorableness of his baby brother.

“Yes, promise.” Pelle nodded before cradling him. “Wanna do it now? Or do you wanna nap more?”

“Nap. We nap, pwease?”

“Sure. Sure. Whatever you want, little guy.”

If Cain wants to sleep beside him, Cain will sleep beside him. Not even a heavenly calamity will change that.

So, he lay down on his bed while Cain was on top of him, curled up like a ball and purring peacefully. The cute sounds he makes were rumbling against Pelle’s shell, but he didn’t mind. If anything, it brought him peace of mind.

Looking at his baby brother brought unexpected comfort and peace within Pelle. How nice would it be if, like Cain, he too could spend most of his days carefree and relaxed like this? Only worrying about what to eat, who to play with, and where to find a good napping spot.

Alas, such privilege was only reserved for Cain.

But before Pelle could think too much, he found himself being lulled to sleep too, seemingly affected by the peace Cain exuded.