Duelling Dungeons

“Where is everyone?” Jenkins asked as she and Jacobs stepped out of the restroom and into Kass’s boss's arena at the rear of the baths. “I thought you said the Naiads were here?”

“They were,” I said. “I sent them to back up Kass’s team.”

“Why would you do that?” Jacobs gasped. “They were the only defenders you had!”

“I brought in the magical books from the observatory to replace them,” I replied casually.

“You brought magical books in to defend the baths,” Jacobs repeated, “and you didn’t see any problems with that?”

“They’re magical; they won’t immediately go to pieces if they get wet,” I said. “Besides, I don’t actually expect them to repel an attack. They were just here to harass the enemy, slow them down long enough for you two to arrive.” I turned to look at the gremlins. “Did you manage to finish it?”

“Yeah, we finished it,” Jenkins replied, shucking her pack. I flinched as she threw the oversized pack to the ground, half expecting it to explode on impact, but it didn’t. Jenkins dug through it for a few seconds, throwing all manner of scientific apparatus and reagent to the floor as she tried to get to the explosive device the pair had created just minutes before. Finally, after a minute or so, she pulled a small wooden box about the size of my head.

“Sorry, we only had enough reagent to make this much,” she said, holding the box out to me.

“How dangerous is it?” I asked, taking the explosive. “How much damage can it cause?”

“Oh, it’s enough to level a decent-sized house,” Jacobs replied casually as he carefully collected the various scattered devices and started throwing them back into the pack. “Maybe two or three if they’re close enough.”

When I heard that, my first instinct was to throw the thing as far away from me as I could, but I resisted, and instead I slowly and carefully lowered the box to the floor. “Is it safe?”

“It’s the most stable Gremlin-designed explosive ever!” Jacobs declared proudly. “So, kind of. Just don’t get it near fire, and you should be fine. Probably.”

I sighed. “And what happens if it gets wet?”

“In theory, nothing. It shouldn’t react to water,” Jacobs replied. “It will, however, still ignite if wet.”

“Good, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” I said, before jogging over to the side, where I’d left my pile of tablets. I grabbed both the communications tablet and the one that was connected to the lounge feed and brought them back. “No sign of the Sanctum’s latest attack yet, but it’s only a matter of time now. We need to be ready.”

“Since we only have about an hour left until we hit the time limit, wouldn’t it be smarter for them just to sit back and defend?” Jacobs asked.

“It wouldn’t be a terrible plan,” I admitted, “but they can’t.”

Jenkins cocked her head to the side. “Why not?”

“Because they only have two floors left, and three bosses,” I explained. “They can’t have two bosses occupy the same floor at the same time, and although there’s no rule about drawing out a match, there is a limit on the amount of time you can stay in the rest rooms.”

“There is? Why would the Dungeon league have rules on how long someone could occupy the rest areas?” Jenkins asked.

“They don’t,” I said, “but Delves do, and I would bet you anything none of the dungeon masters considered how that would affect a dungeon duel.”

“Or if they did, they would have thought it improves the match, instead of detracting from it,” Jenkins said thoughtfully.

“It does? How?” Jacobs asked.

“It prevents a match from going stale. Even if you wanted to play defensively, you couldn’t just sit a team in the rest area and wait for the end of the match. It forces you to go engage the other team, like it or not,” I explained. “And if Rogu is in the rest area right now, it’s only a matter of time until he’s kicked out.”

“I would have thought that Rogu would have wanted to attack,” Jenkins said. “He’s been very aggressive so far this match.”

“He also lost his arm when he faced Chelsea,” I reminded her. “And although reattaching a severed limb is quite easy for him, attaching a new one is not. He’d need time to figure out the new arm, adapt to it. He’s probably sitting in the rest area performing exercises to help break it in.”

“Okay… Well, that explains why he hasn’t attacked yet, but that doesn’t explain why you dismissed all your defenders, except for the books, and you were waiting for us,” Jenkins said, her eyes narrowing. “You’re planning something.”

“I’m always planning something,” I replied. “I’m just not sure it’ll work.”

“Well, share with the class. What’s this big plan?” Jacobs asked.

I turned away from the pair and walked to the edge of Kass’s area, looking down on the levels below. “I know the dungeon is hard to damage, and it’ll regenerate over time, but is your explosive strong enough to damage one of the walls?” I asked.

“In theory…” Jenkins muttered. “An internal one, anyway. If you attempted to damage an external one, the system would immediately eject everyone in the area and shut down. Damaging the matrix could result in an unstable mana cascade, which would be disastrous.”

“Well, I’m not thinking of damaging an external one,” I replied quietly.

“So what are you planning?” Jacobs asked.

“Well, it’s going to sound insane but… You know how the Baths have a terrace design? All the water starts at the top, in Kass’s arena, then pours down a series of waterfalls to reach the lower levels?”

“It’s a neat design,” Jacobs acknowledged. “So?”

“So if each pool occupies around a hundred square feet, and is fifteen feet deep, that’s an awful lot of water, right?” I asked.

“Forty-two thousand litres-ish,” Jacobs replied.

“Forty-two thousand four hundred and seventy-five,” Jenkins agreed.

“So if we placed your explosive at the base of one of the pools, waited until the enemy entered the level, then ignited it,” I prompted.

“The enemy would be swept away in a veritable tidal wave,” Jenkins exclaimed, excitedly. It only took her a moment to calm down and look at me skeptically. “Is that even allowed? I can’t imagine that’s in the spirit of the competition.”

“I can tell you that there’s nothing in the rules that prevents you from damaging a dungeon during a match, or using a dungeon mechanic in an unexpected way,” I replied. “Not yet anyway.”

“So what you’re saying is, if we’re going to do this, we better do it right,” Jacobs said, a large sinister smile growing on his face.

“I was planning to plant it across from the stepping stones, because there’s no way the Sanctum would be able to escape if I lit the explosive when they were halfway across,” I said, “but if you two have a better idea, I’d be open to it.”

“Who says you’d be the one to light it?” Jenkins asked.

“It was my idea,” I replied, “plus my job is done; this was supposed to be my last stand.”

“Nah nah nah. You’re talking about detonating the greatest Gremlin explosive ever made, on a prime time broadcast, and causing complete carnage. There’s no way we’re letting you do that,” Jacobs exclaimed.

“Yeah, we’re going to do it!” Jenkins agreed.

“Blowing stuff up is one thing, but blowing something up with purpose, and making it to the highlight reel of a broadcast, that’s every Gremlin’s dream,” Jacobs explained.

“I thought you guys liked order,” I said.

“In the lab, absolutely. You can’t get anything done without recording your process, writing down your steps, and performing incremental changes to improve your devices,” Jenkins said, “but when you love explosions as much as we do, you’ve got to appreciate a little carnage from time to time.”

Jacobs nodded seriously.

“If you say so,” I muttered helplessly. “If this is so important to you, I’m not going to stop you from blowing yourselves up.”

“Yeeeessssss!” Jacobs hissed. “Best day ever.”

“Let’s go. We need to conduct a quick structural and fluid analysis of the different pools if we want to make the biggest impression,” Jenkins declared, sprinting towards the stairs. “We don’t have much time!”

“I’m right behind you!” Jacobs replied.

I turned away from the Gremlins, only to find George poking the explosive box and growling. “Don’t tell me you want to sacrifice yourself setting that thing off too,” I said. The big spider turned towards me and huffed before taking off across the thin walkway around the pool.

I shook my head, a small smile pulling at the corner of my lips. “I guess that makes you the smartest of us today.”