Duelling Dungeons

“Jyssa is a real problem,” I muttered as I sat in the safe room, trying to figure out what to do next. “We had the perfect counter for her earlier, when the Mycellium marauders were at full strength, but now…”

“Bah, perfect is boring. How are you supposed to improve without making mistakes?” Jenkins exclaimed. “You have to think outside the box, innovate, to improve!”

“How would you suggest we innovate here?” I asked. “Luther’s team is down to less than half strength, Voss won’t leave the Dryads alone, our team has only four members left, and Kass’s team is vulnerable to black magic. The only squads that are still one hundred percent are the Naiads and magical books, and they’re both better off than being on the front lines.”

“That does make things more difficult,” Jenkins muttered. “Hey, Jacobs, what would you do?”

The other gremlin lifted his head weakly and coughed out a small cloud of smoke. “Explosives,” he finally muttered. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him; he’d already been lying in the rest area when Jenkins and I arrived, but considering how half his body was charred and smoking, I could guess.

“Not every problem can be solved with explosives,” I said.

“Not all,” Jacobs replied. “Just most of them.”

“Besides, I thought you used all your explosives when you ambushed Jyssa the first time,” I said.

“We did,” Jenkins replied excitedly, as she grabbed her oversized pack off the nearby table. “But luckily, we ran into this guy while you were in your weird meditative trance.”

Flipping the top of the bag open, she pulled out a tiny, squirming draconid. The little creature wriggled, but it was wrapped in so much rope that I couldn’t see anything but its head. Even though it looked like it desperately wanted to bite the gremlin, it couldn’t. Somehow, Jenkins had managed to stuff an entire cannonball into its mouth as a gag.

“How did you catch that?” I asked. “I thought it escaped to the back of the floor when George was chasing it.”

“It did!” Jenkins exclaimed. “However, once the scientists carried Nor’Goth away, it tried to creep out and spy on us. Thankfully, Jacobs spotted it right away and managed to catch it.”

“At great personal cost,” the other gremlin coughed.

“The draconid did that to you?” I asked in surprise.

“No, I stuffed it in my pack with the leftover gunpowder,” Jacobs coughed. “Turns out, that wasn’t a good idea.”

“I caught the little troublemaker while it was still dazed from the explosion,” Jacobs said proudly.

“I’m not sure it’s the one who should be considered a troublemaker,” I muttered, poking the little draconid. “How does this fix your lack of explosives problem?”

“We have all the materials to make another batch of Umbral Ash; all we need is a little bit of saliva and some place to do the mixing,” Jenkins explained.

“Why do you have the materials to create more Umbral Ash?” I asked.

“Because we wanted to do some experimentation in a live fire zone,” she explained. “Unfortunately, we got a little excited earlier, and detonated our entire stock before we could tinker with the formula. I do have to admit, the formula my cousin sent me DID have a pretty good bang, for something so stable.”

I sighed. “If I find you a place to work, how long will it take you to make another batch of explosives?”

“Oh, maybe five or ten minutes. The formula isn’t that complicated, and we don’t need any complicated machines to make it,” Jenkins explained.

“And, is it safe?”

“Define safe,” Jenkins replied, cocking her head to the side.

“Safe enough that other people can be around while you work,” I said.

“Ahahahahahahaaaaa… ahhh, no. Not even remotely. It’s the most stable Gremlin-created explosive ever, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe for other people to be around,” Jacobs cackled. “Plus, it’s made with Umbral saliva, which is viscous, sticks to skin and armour, and can burn for upwards of five minutes. Nasty stuff.”

“Then how are you going to make it? You don’t have safety gear?” I asked.

“Oh, we’ll just be extra careful,” Jacob said as he sat up. I glanced over at him and had to do a double-take. Just a minute ago, when Jenkins and I walked in, he looked like he was on his deathbed. Now he looked fine, a little singed but absolutely fine. I made a mental note to do more research on Gremlin physiology later. From everything I’d read and heard, they didn’t have any sort of special resilience or regeneration, but every time I saw one get injured in an explosion, they seemed to be fine five minutes later. It didn’t make any sense.

“Is this going to be the same level of care that you had when you stuck that draconid into your bag with gunpowder?” I asked.

“Of course,” Jenkins replied. “Why do you think we told you it wasn’t safe for other people to be around while we did it?”

“At least you’re self-aware enough to recognize your own recklessness,” I sighed. “Well, I guess some explosives wouldn’t hurt. Even though the teams are fairly even, the Sanctum is definitely going to come out ahead if they manage to release their secret weapon. Even if we had all the bosses alive, and fighting together, I don’t know if we’d manage to stop an Umbral dragon.”

Jenkins dropped the draconid and stared at me, wide-eyed. “Their secret weapon is an Umbral dragon?” she asked.

“Apparently. If what I managed to learn from Nor’Goth’s mind is true,” I said. “Too bad we don’t actually have a Titanranchula to throw in its way,” I said, glancing at George. “Right?”

The big spider rose on his four back legs and performed a little victory dance.

“Yes, yes, you were very impressive,” I told him. “Although I’m not sure why you decided to imagine yourself as a Titanranchula, considering the last time either of us encountered one, my sisters were trying to sacrifice you to one.”

They stopped dancing for a moment, looked at me and huffed.

“Don’t give me that, I’m just telling you the truth,” I said.

“What are you talking about?” Jacobs asked. “George turned into a Titanranchula?”

“It’s a long story,” I said. “I’ll tell you later, when we have more time.”

I paced back and forth for a minute, trying to figure out our next course of action before finally coming up with a plan. “Alright, we only have two secure floors left. Well, technically three, but I very much doubt Lanivia would tolerate you accidentally detonating explosives outside her room,” I said, and both Gremlins nodded their agreement. “That leaves the Ballroom, and the Observatory. We’re using the Ballroom to triage the Dryads, which means you get to work in the Observatory.”

“Uhhh… Are you going to consult Gun’Thur about that?” Jenkins asked. “I’m not sure he’d appreciate explosions going on in his tower while he’s reading.”

“Well, if he ever bothered to stop reading for just a minute, and replied to any of my messages, I would,” I said. “You know how cranky he can be when he’s been disturbed. Just use that as motivation to take your time, and make as few mistakes as possible, okay? Besides, there’s literally nowhere else for you to go. Both the Baths and the Lounge could be attacked at any time.”

“I guess we don’t have any choice,” Jenkins muttered. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to go relieve Kass before Jyssa gets to the Baths,” I said. “If she gets trapped in there, we won’t have enough time to get to Nor’Goth before the timer runs out.”

“But, she’ll take the Sirens, and the Revenants with her when she leaves. What are you going to do?” Jacobs asked.

“Oh your know,” I said, giving the pair a small smile. “I’ll think of something.”