A Person with Morals gets Transported to Another World [LitRPG] [Satire]

On the way back home, I found myself travelling down roads I would not normally take. With the map menu, there was no chance of me getting lost. I could see where I was at all times. The System’s map even detailed the city down to specific gaps between houses. I’m sure there were actual maps that were more detailed, but the added effect of having an in-built ‘you are here’ marker was a significant bonus.

Since night was approaching, there were more people on the main streets and less on the side streets. I was strolling down one such empty side street when I heard the scream of a young girl. “Help! Somebody please help me!” the girl cried.

I ran in the direction of the voice. It came from a nearby alley. When I stepped into it, I saw a terrifying scene. A boy was holding a knife to a defenceless and frightened girl. The boy had jet black hair that was combed over one of his eyes. The singular eye that was visible was bright red. The girl being threatened seemed uninjured. She clung tightly to her own light-green hair out of fear.

“What’s going on here?” I shouted as I got closer. I didn’t want to make any sudden movements since the attacker was not being violent yet. Though, I didn’t want to give him the chance to get there.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” said the boy. “This vixen tricked me!”

Did he just say vixen? The boy appeared too young to use a word like that. Looking above his head, I saw that he was actually 29, and the girl he was threatening was 12. Another Earthling was causing trouble. I sighed. “Now, now. Let’s all just relax. There’s no need to wave a knife around.”

“This isn’t a knife!” the boy snapped. “This is a dagger. It’s a high-grade item that I got from a dungeon, not some measly knife.” Upon closer inspection, the dagger did look like it was more than a kitchen utensil, but that was a strange thing to focus on in this circumstance.

“Alright, sorry. It’s a dagger. But why are you threatening that girl with it?”

The boy let out a loud groan through clenched teeth. The veins on his neck popped. “This girl betrayed me! I trusted her and she double-crossed me!” The boy punched the wall next to him with his free hand. “I came to this world full of hope. I thought I could be happy here, but I’ve experienced nothing but misery since I came here.”

I could clearly see this Earthling was troubled, but I couldn’t think of a way to calm him down. “I’m sorry to hear that…”

“No you’re not!” he yelled. “No one cares about me. I’m all alone in this world. I thought I could be happy here, but no. After this betrayal, I can never trust anyone ever again. I’ll never get close to others anymore. The only person I can trust is myself. I’m a lone wolf.”

Now what would a normal person say to that? “Okie dokie.”

The boy glared at me.

“After everything she’s done to me, are you going to stop me from taking my revenge?” The boy’s grip around his knife-like dagger tightened. “She stabs me in the back, but I can’t stab her in the front?”

I crept forwards. “I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to be mad, I’m just saying that this seems a little extreme.” The girl must have done something awful to the boy for this to occur. But what damage could a 12-year-old girl have really caused? “Why don’t you tell me what happened?” Maybe talking about it would calm the boy down. Glancing above his head, I saw his name was Orford, and the girl was called Filey.

The boy laughed. “Oh, I’ll tell you. Once I do, you might just help me deal with her.”

I doubted that. The girl was shivering. It didn’t feel good to see someone so young so scared. I wanted to swoop in and save her from the fright she felt, but anything like that could cause Orford to lash out. The safest thing to do was try to de-escalate.

“In fact, why don’t you tell him why I’m so mad at you, Filey?” he asked the girl.

Her lower lip shook and she took a while to respond. “Uhm, I’m not sure, sir Hero.”

“Of course not! A minx like you obviously knows how to play dumb.” Orford began telling his story. “When we first came to this world, I was doing quests by myself. In the guild, this girl came up to me. She told me that she didn’t have a team either, so she wanted to party up with me, especially since we were the same age.”

I backchanneled, “Uh-huh.”

“I’ve always been the type to do things alone. In group projects, I was the one who did all the work myself.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. It’s definitely irritating when others don’t want to help,” I said.

He shook his head. “No. They wanted to help, but I was too much of an introvert to accept it.”

Wasn’t that his fault? Did he want me to feel sorry for him? “Mmh,” I hummed. It wasn’t wise to make known my observations. I just let him keep talking.

“Anyway, I took a chance and invited her to my party. We spent so many days together, doing quests, hanging out, and becoming close. Anyone would fall in love after all the things we did with each other. I was already planning to propose to her. But guess what?”

“What?” I didn’t like where this story was going.

“Today, I saw her hugging another man! Can you believe that? This entire time she was leading me on. She didn’t love me. She was just using me.” The boy growled at the sky. “This tramp just led me on when the entire time she had a boyfriend.”

“I already told you that he was my brother!” protested the girl.

“Shut up, you incestuous wench!” Orford turned his body to me. “She’s awful, isn’t she.” He pointed his dagger over his shoulder at the girl. “Hugging her brother so promiscuously, how horrible.” He tutted. “After this betrayal, I can only follow the path of darkness…”

I was flabbergasted. This whole story was so weird. Orford had formed a crush on a girl and then felt betrayed when she innocently hugged her own brother. Something so mundane had driven him to hold a knife to the poor girl. He was acting like she cheated on him after years of marriage. I explained as gently as I could, “I don’t think someone hugging their own brother is as bad as you seem to believe.”

“Of course it is! She was getting intimate with another boy while leading me on!”

“Okay…” I said while dragging out the ‘Y’. Orford was a complete and utter lunatic. He was angry that his crush had a brother. I felt like he was beyond reasoning with. “So are you going to kill her over that? It seems too extreme of a reaction.”

“Kill her?” He chuckled. “No. I’m going to get revenge by punishing her with pain equal to what I felt.”

I prepared for the worst by secretly pulling a needle from my bag. “What kind of punishment would that be?”

He looked at the girl and smirked. “I’m going to grab her, pin her down and forcibly steal her handholding virginity.”

I stared at him blankly. “Her what?” When I glanced at Filey, she seemed just as confused as me.

“Are you deaf? I’m going to steal her handholding virginity. I’m going to be the first person to hold hands with her, and there’s nothing she can do about it. I’m taking it by force. It’s her punishment for leading me on!”

What the hell was this guy talking about? He had made up a concept that I was amazed he could even fathom. What sort of person could think of something like that, I wondered? Was holding hands such a special event in his mind?

Looking down at the girl, I saw that she was twitching nervously. “Actually…” She worriedly admitted, “I’ve already held hands with someone.”

Orford looked like he was just shot by a bullet. His knees buckled a little. “You’ve what?” he asked quietly. Then loudly he yelled, “Who the hell did you hold hands with?”

“My father…” she said softly. “I hold hands with my father all the time.”

Orford started blinking rapidly. “Your father…” He twisted around and headbutted the wall. He rubbed his forehead into the brick and then started scraping the wall with the point of his knife. “I thought you were pure and untouched.” The high-pitched scraping made me shudder. “You hussy! You cheater! You floozy!” He smushed his entire face against the wall. “Aargh!”

This man was something else. While he was distracted, I grabbed the girl and started creeping away. There would be time to contemplate the absurdity of Orford later. Now, I had to focus on helping the girl escape this madman. As unluck would have it, I stepped on a twig. The breaking of the branch drew Orford’s attention.

His head whipped to me. “Where do you think you’re going?” He raised his dagger into the air, ready to swing it down at me.

“Listen, Orford. I’d rather not fight. We’re both Earthlings, you know?” I wanted to appeal to his reason, but he seemed to have run out of it.

“I know. That’s exactly why I want to fight,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re the root cause of all my problems, Yarm.”

“Me? What did I do?” I asked.

“I’ll tell you. When we came to this world, we were all offered slaves. At the slave trader’s place, I found the perfect MILF to make my slave. I asked her if she had any desires, and she told me that all she wanted was to be reunited with the three beautiful children she had given birth to. I explained that I’d help her find them in exchange for her virginity. She was bewildered that her soon-to-be owner would give her such a kind offer.”

I was confused. I looked at Filey; she was confused. Normally I would have explained why it was wrong to coerce sexual favours from people, but I was just baffled by the stupidity I was hearing.

“But you know what happened after that, don’t you? An imbecile decided to free her. Her hymen was mine to break and you took that opportunity from me!”

“What are you talking about, man? She wouldn’t have a hymen after giving birth three times!” Filey had lost all the previous terror on her face, and it was replaced by a puzzled look. I went on, “Plus, she had three kids. She wasn’t bewildered that you wanted to take her virginity. She was bewildered that you thought she still had it. Are you an idiot?”

“Stop trying to ruin all my dreams! I’m going to make you pay!” Orford charged at me. He held his dagger and threw it at me.

My mind saw it all before it happened. I saw the way his arm twisted, and from there I knew he was going to fling his weapon at me. My mind also calculated the trajectory. I knew the flight path of the dagger, so it was easy to dodge. Without a weapon, Orford would be defenceless against my acupuncture.

[-59 HP]

I was sliced. It took me some time to even figure out what had done it. Orford yanked back his arm and the dagger returned to him. “Now I see,” I said. The boy had attached a thin wire or fishing line to his dagger. During the dagger’s flight, he tugged on the line sideways to hit me. My high level in Mind could not predict that. I would’ve needed points into Body to perceive such a thin line.

Satisfied by his little trick, Orford moved into melee range with me.

He was fast. He used the dagger to strike at the unguarded parts of my body, and I only just had enough time to block his attacks with my sturdy needle. I realised that my ability to predict the movements of my opponents was reaching its limit.

I was facing off against a level 25 fighter who had clearly invested into Body. His tremendous speed was putting my prediction ability to shame. If he had a few more points into Body, I would not have been able to block him at all.

“How do you know where I’m striking?” he asked. He had sussed out quickly that I wasn’t blocking based off of reaction.

“Simple,” I answered. “I can predict the future.” I smiled at Orford. Technically, what I said was not false.

I could see that my response had rattled him a tiny amount. Not enough to make a difference in the fight, unfortunately.

I was completely on the defensive, blocking blow after blow. I thought of lofting my needle darts into the air and having them home in on Orford’s pressure points, but he did not afford me a second to spare.

My stamina was running low, yet my opponent was not even breathing heavily. I knew if I only kept deflecting his blows, I was bound to lose. My mind shuffled through the possibilities. Skills were out of the option since I had no mana. No titles made sense to use here. And my items were flat out useless too.

Was I going to lose? Maybe I should have forsaken my dignity and worn Hyde’s panties after all. Body was an essential stat in battle. I couldn’t neglect it.

I couldn’t worry about what-ifs. There had to be something.

Thinking quickly, I activated my Silhouette cosmetic and completely shrouded myself. From my wound, I scooped blood and threw it into Orford’s eyes. Due to my concealed form, he could not see my movements. The blood splattered into his eyes and he lost his vision. That was enough to secure my victory.

I pierced his Life Pond with my needle and rendered him unconscious. He fell to the ground with a thud. I wiped my needle with an antiseptic wipe and put it back into my bag. Slapping my hands together, I said, “Job done.”

But the job was not done. Orford regained consciousness. I wasn’t sure how, but his eyes started shimmering. His canine teeth lengthened, hair grew on his body, and stuff started glowing. I could see the organs within his body glowing with yellow light. His heart, lungs, liver, and even testicles were all visible and emitting light. Strangely, I counted three testicles.

With a low and hoarse voice Orford said, “When I’m knocked unconscious, I enter beast form. In this body, I am stronger but I cannot use weapons. Also, my vital organs become visible and are more vulnerable to damage.”

Were testicles considered to be vital organs? And did his beast form give him three testicles, or did he have that many as a human as well?

Orford dashed to me and pinned both my wrists to the wall. “If you think that you can win because my weaknesses are visible, you’re dead wrong.” His stinky breath blew into my face. It was still better than Eppy’s somehow. “Any last words?” he said.

I tried to break free from his grasp, but he was too strong for me to even budge him. At that moment, Filey came up from behind and kicked Orford right between the legs. His vulnerable testicles had received a mighty blow. Orford stood stiff like a statue and then howled. He collapsed to the ground and squeezed his legs together. The girl had not finished. She kept kicking while he begged for mercy.

The extra vulnerability from his skill was causing him unimaginable pain. Eventually it became too much and he passed out.

Filey clapped her hands together. “Job done.”

“Don’t jinx it!” I said. “He might have a third form.”

“Good point. He does have a third testicle after all.”