A Person with Morals gets Transported to Another World [LitRPG] [Satire]

After leaving the cathedral, I walked towards the next place of interest on the route I had planned. I was going to jump on a bus at the earliest opportunity, however it seemed the carriage lines were diverted due to crowding. The streets were messy with people who were all heading to a singular direction.

Wherever they were going was on my path too, so I would see what all the commotion was about.

I travelled for not too long before I saw a large pyre. Bits of wood stacked together in a tall cone shape. I first assumed that it was for a bonfire and that there was a festival occurring, but when I got closer that notion was dispelled. At the centre of all the wood was a person tied to a post. I immediately understood they were about to be burned at the stake.

Another horrific act of cruelty was about to take place before my eyes.

I should’ve known that this world would hold public executions on top of all the other wickedness it allowed. Several guards kept the audience at a safe distance from the imminent flames. The executioner had just finished reading the condemned’s last rites. Holding a torch aloft, he lit the pyre on fire.

Flames slowly spread around the man tied to the post.

“That’s what he gets,” said an onlooker who was close to me.

“What did he do wrong, Mother?” a boy asked his mother.

“He committed treason. Be a good boy or you’ll end up like him, ok?”

I was disgusted by how indifferent the audience was to this execution. None of them looked as if they were happy to see justice enforced. They were all here for entertainment. This punishment was solely enacted for the enjoyment of the crowd.

A sickening thing it was, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. The guards that were overseeing the killing were all far above my level. Even if by some miracle I could sneak past them, there was no way for me to put out the fire. And even if I could do that, there was no way for me to escape this crowd with a man in tow.

I could only watch, just like everyone else.

The man started screaming as the fire finally spread to his body. His cries were like musical tones to the viewers. They revelled in his misery. I stood by helplessly.

“How long do you think he’ll last?” mocked a young woman. She threw a scrunched-up paper bag at the flames, along with others who threw garbage at the man.

“Normally they die in a few minutes due to the smoke, but recently they’ve started putting breathing runes under the convicts. It allows them to breathe normally,” explained a senile man holding a box of donuts. “Now it takes much much longer for them to die, because fire is slow to kill. Grab some food for yourself while you can.”

They even devised methods to prolong the cruelty. The barbarity of this world was in a league of its own.

I felt a deep and boundless pity for the screaming man who was being showered in flammable litter by the jeering crowd. I could only imagine the terrible pain he must have felt from the inferno he was chained in. I wished I could do something for him.

Watching the crowd, I realised that maybe I could do something. Everyone was hurling objects at the man, so anything I threw wouldn’t be noticed. I pulled out an acupuncture dart from my bag. I couldn’t save the man from death, but at the very least there was a chance for me to prevent him suffering needlessly with needles.

I aimed my dart at the pressure point on the man’s neck, which was tough because I could hardly see through the flames. By knocking the man out, I would spare him from this torture. I chucked the dart as hard as I could towards the condemned man. Surprisingly, the dart flew faster than the speed at which I threw it. Its direction changed too. I realised that the homing effect had become much stronger due to my increased Mind.

The dart disappeared into the flames and the screaming stopped.

The crowd continued their scornful shouts and taunts for a good while. Slowly, the noise died down, bit by bit. One by one, people noticed that the executed man was unresponsive. He wasn’t screaming anymore.

“Is he dead already?”

“Aww, come on! I wanted a good long show.”

“That was so underwhelming. Why do I even come to these things? They’re always a letdown.”

The disgruntled crowd eventually dispersed. The executioner, who had lit the blaze, used water magic to douse the fire. His palm created a glowing blue circle from which water sprayed out, like it would from a sprinkler. The fire reduced in size until burnt wood and a charred corpse remained.

I approached the executioner and said, “Excuse me, but I believe I accidentally threw a valuable item of mine at the burning man. May I retrieve it?”

The man looked at me silently. I took that as permission and collected my dart. I was only a little nauseous from nearing the dead man. I was becoming used to seeing death.

I was about to walk off when the executioner asked, “Why did you do that?”

I stiffened. Had he caught me? Was I about to be in really big trouble for showing a little sympathy once more? “What do you mean?” I played dumb.

“You threw something to kill this treasonous bastard. I’m wondering why you did it.” He looked at me with no agitation whatsoever. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind. In fact, I’m glad I can leave work early. But I’m also curious as to what your motives are.”

I got the sense that answering honestly was not advisable. Anything I said could be used to find me guilty of wrongdoing. However, if I didn’t ever explain myself, how could I expect anyone to change? “I did it because no one deserves that kind of torment.”

The executioner’s eyebrows lowered and he swallowed a laugh. “No one? For an old man, you’re quite naïve. What if someone killed your loved ones? You wouldn’t want this justice to reach them?”

Strangely, when posed with that theoretical, I imagined Penrin and Newmill being killed rather than my family on Earth. I wondered if that was just recency bias or something else. I gave serious thought to my answer. Judging by the executioner’s words, he seemed to be an introspective person, so I wanted to give him something satisfying to chew on. “I would want justice to reach them, but this would not be justice.”

The executioner folded his arms. “Then what is it?”

“Vengeance. Self-satisfaction. Cruelty. Entertainment. It’s many things but not justice.”

“Hmm.” The executioner pinched his chin. “You’re probably right. Even so, what’s wrong with those things?”

“Well…” I was going to answer quickly but my voice trailed off. I didn’t know what to say. I was stumped. I actually just assumed that everyone would think those concepts to be wrong.

The executioner had given me food for thought, when I was supposed to be giving him something to think about.

I started, “If you’re willing to be cruel to evildoers, where would you draw the line? If you’re comfortable with killing for treason, would you electrocute a hungry beggar for stealing a loaf of bread?”

“No,” the executioner replied immediately and emphatically.

 “Sorry, I think that was the slippery slope fallacy. Let me think of another one.” I scratched my head. A hissing sound came about when I breathed in air through my clenched teeth. “What about this: Nietzsche said that if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you. Aren’t you worried that if you do these awful things to awful people, you might yourself one day become an awful person?”

“Not really.” The executioner wasn’t putting nearly as much thought into this conversation as I was.

That was to be expected, as I was the one who had all the heavy lifting to do. “Uhm, well okay. Alright, I’ve got it! How can you be comfortable with executing these individuals when there’s no certainty that they are guilty? In my homeland, many people were falsely executed and then later exonerated after their deaths. If they hadn’t been killed, they would have been allowed to live freely as innocent men. However, they were unjustly killed before they had that chance.”

The executioner raised his eyebrows and seemed to take my logic seriously. “Fair point, but I literally saw this man committing treason with my own eyes. I was the one who captured him. He even admitted to it.”

“Dang.” I was just about ready to give up. Why was it so hard to explain to someone that being cruel to a person was wrong even if they had committed heinous crimes? Maybe I didn’t have a logical explanation for it. It was dawning on me that I was being driven by emotion not reason, just as everyone else was.

I couldn’t explain my position to a satisfactory degree because I was listening to my heart over my brain. If everyone was being driven by their hearts, was it pointless to try to use my brain to convince them to change?

My head sunk and I stared at the wet stone beneath my stilts. It gave off a scent reminiscent of a pavement after rainfall. An indescribably earthy metallicy rocky smell.

“May I ask you a question, executioner? Why do you think the public want this cruelty to happen?” I raised my eyes to meet the man’s. “They wouldn’t want an innocent person to be tormented like this, would they? So why do they sing so happily when it’s a guilty person being tortured?”

“Why?” The executioner placed his hands on his hips and closed his eyes to consider. His eyelids twitched while he thought. “Hmm.” He opened his eyes again. “I suppose it’s because they think justice is being carried out.”

“If that was all, there wouldn’t have been such an air of perverse pleasure in the crowd.” I stroked my fake beard. “Huxley once said that the surest way to rile people up for a good cause is to promise them a chance at maltreating someone. To be able to destroy with good conscience, to be able to behave badly and call your bad behaviour 'righteous indignation' is the height of psychological luxury, the most delicious of moral treats.”

Looking at the ash and the corpse being taken away, the executioner said, “Are you implying that people are simply looking for an excuse to do wrong? That they want to commit evil deeds yet still experience the pleasure of goodness?”

The sun was getting low and the executioner’s body cast a long shadow. That made me realise something; I had been here way too long! “It’s already this late? I’ve still got so many places to visit!” I had barely made any progress with the quest. I waddled away on my stilts.  “Let’s continue this conversation another time, executioner.” My rapid shuffling was at a pace that could match the fastest tortoise.

The executioner watched me leave while he remained in deep reflection. “What a provocative drunkard…”

When strolling through the streets, I couldn’t find a single bus to take me to my destination. There were plenty of people around to mock me for the way I walked. To be honest, I was starting to agree with their remarks. In a shop-window’s reflection, I did almost laugh when seeing how ridiculous I looked.

I needed a better solution to my height problem.

“Just give me all the money you have on you, woman!” I heard a young voice say on the other side of the street I was walking along. Was someone being mugged, I wondered?

I turned to see a young boy and an old woman having a chat. The old woman pulled out her coin purse and handed it to the boy. “Here you are, sweetie.”

Maybe it wasn’t a mugging. The woman was being too tender with the boy. I assumed he was her grandchild. That was until the boy spotted me. He told the old lady to get lost and then approached me. “Oi, you. That’s a nice-looking coat.”

“Erm, thanks.” The young boy had a somewhat aggressive demeanour that was unsuited to his age. He had spiky black hair and a mean glare. I was slightly intimidated by him. I looked above his head.

[Name: Coleford]

[Age: 27]

[Level: 30]

When I saw how his age did not match his appearance, I realised that this boy was an Earthling. I did not recognise him as someone I had met before.

The boy pointed at my belly. “You’re well fed, aren’t you, fatso? Are you a noble?”

Could he not tell that I was an Earthling too? The boy looked completely oblivious to my true identity. It made sense. The age above my head matched my appearance, so there was no room for alarm.

Coleford, the boy, pointed a finger gun at me and zapped me with a small bolt of pink electricity.

[Status Effect: Charmed]

The little shock that the electricity gave me was startling, but this new status effect was even more shocking.

“For now, give me all the money you have on you,” Coleford said.

I ruffled through my pockets and pulled out 10 GP. It was all that I had. I was planning on using it for bus fares, but I knew it would be better off with Coleford. I handed my money to the boy.

He clinked the gold pieces together in his hand and then glared at me. “This is all that you have?”

I smiled at the boy and said, “Yep, that’s everything. Please use it well.”

The boy hurled the money back into my face. The gold pieces painfully struck me. “Why is your goofy ass wearing designer clothes when you have no money?” he shouted. “Are you larping or something? Your bitch ass made me waste the last of my MP!”

“Ow…” I touched the aching spots on my face. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about.” My mind felt so foggy. It was hard to think. I was having trouble understanding what to do.

“Since your stupid ass made me run out of mana, you deserve a punishment. Don’t you agree?” he said with a wicked grin on his face.

“Yeah. That makes sense.” I had apparently done something wrong, so I obviously deserved to be punished. I understood that. I wished I could understand more, though. This mind fog came when I was inflicted with the Charmed status effect, right?

“Hmm, let me think of something.” He clicked his fingers. “Ah, how about this: do you know Captain Hyde of the Royal Knights?”

“Yes.” I nodded. To clear my head, I used Cleanse.

Coleford procured a piece of red cloth from his bag and held it between his hands. The cloth was a pair of women’s underwear. “These are Hyde’s panties. I want you to wear them on your head and then make a confession of love to Hyde.”

What the heck did I just hear? This person was crazy! After cleansing myself of the Charmed status effect, I was immediately horrified with what was going on. I had been mind-controlled to follow Coleford’s commands. It was sickening.

Not only that, but this person was about to make me commit an abhorrent act. My brain was having trouble even comprehending such deviancy. I tried to think through everything in chronological order.

First, Coleford had used his magic to brainwash an old woman into giving him money. Then he used it on me to get my money, but he was annoyed by my lack of funds, so he wanted to punish me by doing… I didn’t even want to repeat it in my own head.

It was genuinely so baffling to me. And did that mean that this person had stolen Hyde’s underwear? What a dirty little pervert. He was definitely an Earthling by how he had no human decency. This sexual deviant wanted me to wear someone’s underwear on my head? That had to have been a completely original thought. Coleford came up with it himself. I was sure there were no forms of media from which he took inspiration. I could not imagine that another person could ever conceive such deviancy.

Plus, he wanted me to confront Hyde in that manner? On top of being a perverted sicko, he was also a sadist.

I was so glad that I used Cleanse. I couldn’t imagine what would have been in store for me if I actually followed that command. I shivered. Hyde wouldn’t have been satisfied with just killing me. She would’ve made me wish for death.

“What’s wrong?” He shoved the underwear into my hand. “Go ahead and do it.”

I wanted to smack Coleford. With all my soul, I wanted to give him a massive slap across the face. Earlier in the day, I had tried to explain how violent retribution and vengeance was wrong, but I cared for none of that anymore. I wanted this little degenerate to know pain. The only thing that stayed my hand was the level disparity between us.

To get out of this situation was easy. Coleford was out of MP, so he couldn’t cast the skill that inflicted me with Charmed. I could just walk away. Or I could explain how I was an Earthling too. But none of that would sate this burning indignation within me.

I wanted revenge for the old woman who he had just stolen money from, revenge for almost sending me on a humiliation ritual, revenge for everyone he had tricked, and even revenge for Hyde whose privacy he had violated.

To prevent Coleford from becoming more suspicious of my refusal to cooperate, I just went with the first solution I could think of. “Congratulations!” I said. “By the will of the System, you have won a prize!” I tried to make my voice sound cheerful but robotic.

“What?” Coleford was spectacularly confused. He knew he had Charmed me, so the fact that I wasn’t going along with what he said was out of the ordinary. It also gave weight to the absurd things I was about to say.

“I am an anti-secret-shopper created by the System. When you give more than what you have taken from a person you have Charmed, you gain a reward. In this case, you have given me someone’s underwear. For giving me such a valueless object, you only receive 10 GP.”

Coleford shook his head. “What are you talking about? Why aren’t you following my command? And what’s an anti-secret-shopper?”

“A secret-shopper is someone who secretly buys things for a performance evaluation. As an anti-secret-shopper, I’ve been created to secretly receive something from you and to give you a reward. Remember to give generously to those you have Charmed to receive bonus prizes exclusive to you, Coleford.” This was a long shot, but I couldn’t think of anything better in the limited time that I had.

“You’re created by the System?” Coleford no longer had that mean glare. Instead, he was now filled with equal parts intrigue and suspicion. “How do I know you’re not just a guy trying to trick me?”

“If I was a real person, I would be under the influence of the Charmed status effect.” I wondered if it would be taking things too far to add ‘beep boop’ to the end of that sentence.

“True. But you’re real. I can see you. I can even touch you,” he said.

“Can you?”

Coleford’s intrigue grew in size. His hand hesitantly raised towards me and prodded my belly. He didn’t feel flesh. He only felt the coat. My real body was much smaller than the chubby-shaped coat, so he didn’t touch me.

His suspicion had all but diminished to zero. He needed one last little push to take him over the edge. I knew exactly how to do that. I activated the Silhouette cosmetic and my whole body was drenched in black shadow. I oozed dark smoke and only my outline could be seen. “Now that I have fulfilled my purpose, I return to nothing. Goodbye.”

“Woah… This is amazing. So I just gotta give stuff to people to get prizes? Did you say I get limited edition rewards as well? Awesome.” Coleford rolled his shoulders to stretch. “Wait, a minute. This doesn’t make sense. You—”

I quickly stabbed a needle into Coleford’s neck before he could finish that train of thought. He fell to the ground. There were more holes in my deception than in a kitchen sponge, so I had to knock him out before he realised. Interestingly enough, this silhouette masked my movements and made it difficult for Coleford to see what I was doing. The silhouette covered my body, clothes, and belongings in a shroud. I began to think it was more useful than I had initially thought.

I left Coleford on the ground, but I did rummage through his pockets to find the coin purse that he stole, and I returned it to the old woman.

I wasn’t sure what to do with Hyde’s underwear. It would probably be best to return it to her, I thought. I definitely wasn’t going to wear it on my head, that was for sure.

I placed the underwear into my only inventory slot.

[Hyde’s Panties: When worn grants +5 to Body]

Plus five! I screamed internally. That would give me 200 extra HP. That was around triple the HP that I currently had. Maybe I would wear it after all…

No. No. I could not allow myself to become a deviant.